Heart of Darkness

Chapter Eleven

1975

I walked down the corridor on my way to go see Hagrid. James was walking after Lily Evans and Severus Snape. "I told you to leave me alone, Potter."
"C'mon, Evans. I'm not that bad."
"Sod off." Snape told him.
"Shut up, Snivellus."
"James Potter." I said. "What have I told you?"
"Sorry, Aunt--Professor." James said.
I waited.
"Sorry, Severus." He continued.
"Thank you, Professor." Lily said.
"Of course. Come with me, James. Leave Lily alone."
He followed me as I started walking.
"That's rude, James. Just because you're you and he's him doesn't mean you're better than him."
"Yes ma'am."
"What's in your mouth?"
"In my mouth? My tongue."
"No. There's something else."
"My teeth?"
"What are you boys up to?"
"Us, up to something? Never." He said innocently.
"James."
"Hey, Angelica. Hey, James." Hagrid bellowed as he stepped out his door.
"Hey, Hagrid." We both called.
"You aren't off the hook." I hissed as we approached.
"I made some biscuits and tea. Come help yourselves." Hagrid said amiably.

That summer, Sirius and Regulus both went to their parents' house.
It wasn't long until Sirius called. "Hey, Aunt Angie." He said.
"Hey, kid. What's up?"
"Nothing. You?"
"Not much."
"Are you busy?"
"No."
"Can you come pick me up?"
"'Course. I'll be there in a bit."
"Thank you."
"What about Regulus?"
"No, they love Regulus." Sirius said rather bitterly.
"All right, sweetie. I'll be there in a bit."
"Thank you."
I apparated to my cousins' house.
"You ungrateful bastard!" Walburga was yelling, I presumed, at Orion. "All we've done for you, and you're going to be a blood traitor?!"
Was she talking to Sirius?
"Yes! Pardon me for not being an evil fucking asshole!"
I opened the door without knocking. How dare she speak to him like that?
"I'm going to Aunt Angie's." He said.
Where the hell were they?
"Go to Hell."
"I would, but I'd just be in your way." Sirius retaliated.
That was a good one, though.
"Go ahead and kill yourself. We won't stop you."
That bitch! How dare she?!
"I would, but I don't want to give you that pleasure."
"You son of a bitch--"
"You're right." I said, storming into the kitchen. "You are a bitch."
I wanted to hex her. I wanted to kill her.
"Aunt Angie." Sirius said.
"Oh, shut up." Walburga rolled her eyes childishly.
"You can't talk to your child like that!" I told her.
"I can talk to him however I want, I'm his mother."
So I punched her in the face.
She looked very offended. "Get out of my house."
"Bye." I waved with a smile. "Where's your stuff, honey?" I asked Sirius.
"By the door."
"Let's go, then. Bye, Walburga."
"Are you okay?" I asked outside.
"Yes! You punched her! That was amazing."
I rolled my eyes.
"Why didn't you just use magic?"
I shrugged. "Dunno. It was more fun to punch her, though."
"That was great." He grinned.
"Hold on." I reminded him. He put his arm through mine, and I disapparated. "Go unpack, sweetie." I said.
"Yes ma'am."
He came back into the living room shortly.
"Have you had dinner yet?"
"Well, I was going to, but I was being an ornery asshole."
"I haven't eaten either. Do you feel like going out or do you wanna just stay here?"
"Doesn't matter." He shrugged.
He looked exhausted. The bags under his eyes were reaching the level of mine. He leaned back on the couch in a way that I was sure he'd never done at his parents' house.
"You okay, Sirius?" I asked.
He nodded.
"How about sandwiches?"
"Wicked." He smiled. "I'll help."
As we made sandwiches, I kept thinking about what that bitch had said to him. Even Tom hadn't ever sunk down to that level. He was the freaking Dark Lord and he'd never told anybody to kill themselves.
Was I supposed to talk to him about it?
What was I supposed to say if I did?
I probably should say something. He didn't need to go around thinking people wanted him dead.
But how do you say that?
What would I have wanted somebody to tell me?
Or does that even help? He's Sirius. What would Sirius want somebody to tell him?
"I'm proud of you, Sirius." I said as I peanutbuttered my bread.
"I haven't done anything."
"You aren't like the rest of our family. It's hard to do that, with them like they are. I'm proud of you."
He cleared his throat. "Thank you. Are you done with the peanutbutter?"
I pushed the jar over to him. "Do you want to write James, Peter and Remus? They can come stay for a while."
"Nah, it's fine." He said, but they'd all be here in a few days.
"Sirius." I sighed.
"If it'd make you feel better, we can talk about it." He said.
"I don't know how to adult. Are we supposed to talk about it?"
He laughed a little bit. He was quiet for a while, probably looking for a witty response. "I dunno." He finally said.
"Come here." I stepped around the island and hugged him.
He hugged me back. "Thanks for getting me."
"Of course. Merlin, you've gotten tall."
"Yeah." He smiled a bit. He was as tall as me.
"I love you, Sirius. I'd care a hell of a lot if anything happened to you, and I know other people would too." I continued.
"Thank you, Aunt Angie." He said softly.
I wish he was little again.
"I'm okay. Thank you. I love you too." He said.
I kissed his cheek and went back to my sandwich.
An owl tapped on the window. I went to get it.
Angelica,
I heard you punched one of my most faithful followers in the face. I admire your work.
I know that precious little boy's staying with you, so I'll leave you alone for a while. You didn't enjoy me coming when he was there last time. But I love you. Don't forget.
As long as I'm in power, you and your boys will be safe. I won't let anybody lay a hand on them.
Love,
Tom
I was grateful for that, if nothing else. But then again, if he wasn't in power, we wouldn't have to worry about it.
But he was in power.
I looked at Sirius, asleep on the couch.
Thank you, Tom.