You Never Cease To Amaze Me.

Need.

I once needed you.
I needed you and every detail, every dip, every curve, every birthmark, every aspect of your being. I just needed you.

I thought you needed me too. You told me you needed me. There's the thing.
You told me, you never showed me. I wasn't aware back then but I never felt like I was needed, I thought I was because I figured that if I needed you as much as I did you had to need me too at some point.

I walked into that relationship alive and I came out dead. Yes, my heart was beating and my lungs were working yet I was still dead. I was falling apart. My dignity had diminished.

Every bruise, every tear, all the agony was forgotten when you held me. I felt as if your soul was made of barbwire. Not to keep me out, but to keep me in.

My mind knew nothing but the sound of your voice, your touch, or your name. My world revolved around you. I held you on a pedestal that I raised too high off the ground. Maybe that's why I seemed so small to you.

I felt like I was drowning while you were at shore watching me suffer. That was the first time in my life when I thought that maybe drowning wasn't so bad.

I now thank you for all the agony you caused while I was with you because without this experience I would've been left with the unrealistic idea that
want is the same as need.