You Never Cease To Amaze Me.

If you're here for poetry then you probably shouldn't read this.

This isn't the writing that I usually put out there so feel free to skip this and wait for my next update. This is going to be pathetic.

I'm probably the most pitiful human being you will ever encounter in your life.

I write about my miserable life and dare to call it poetry and you all dare to call it beautiful and basically praise me for being depressed. What pisses me off the most is when people paint me as "the friendly guy", or "the guy everyone loves". I'm none of those things and you know it. I pretend to have my shit together and I claim to be fine and dandy just so I can avoid the whole "you're worth it" conversation.

I'm a hypocrite. I tell people to be happy and love themselves while I'm at home crying myself to sleep. Crying while I tell my friends that "I'm fine." Its as if I were to tell everyone that I'm sober while my breath smells of vodka and I slur all of my words. I'm a liar.

I wonder what all of my friends who are reading this think. Probably, "what? I never knew Rider felt this way", that's probably because I don't fucking like you or because I sugarcoat everything and don't want people to see me as the disgusting and poignant person I am.
I've realized that I want people to like me, I don't know why because they all end up shitting on me in the end.

If I had to compare myself to anything in the world I'd probably say my writing because it's shitty and all over the place, just like me.

I'm literally fucking cackling while writing this. This is hilarious. I'm an adult complaining about how much he hates himself and how no one loves him.

Boo fucking hoo.

I sincerely apologize to anyone who has read this far. Which I'm utterly confused about because who would torture themselves like this?

Just know that I am not nor will I ever be okay.