South Shields

Chapter 39

- PERRIE -

It's been a week since Lucas and I moved all of my stuff to my new apartment. During the time I've spent here (both alone and with Lucas) has made me like this place a lot. Unlike when I lived at Jade's, I have my own bedroom and can decide over the entire space in here. Lucas has slept over here a few nights, but this morning he left to go work by lunch.

I have also decided that I'm angry with Jade. I don't think it was right of her to attack me like she did. It was my choice to do what I did, and she shouldn't have cared about it. I haven't talked to her since I left her apartment a week ago. Somehow my feelings for her still haven't changed. Even though I am angry I still feel the butterflies in my stomach when I n my head picture her smiling and laughing with sparkling eyes.

My shift at the café start in a few hours - I've got the late one. I decide to make myself a sandwich and lie down in my couch to watch a movie until I need to get ready.

- JADE -

I can't believe that Perrie hasn't apologized to me yet. She told me our intimate and wonderful night was a mistake. A mistake! She told me several times how great she thought it was, how great I was. I did nothing wrong, that's for sure. I asked her if it meant something, if she truly was interested in me or if she would still meet Lucas. I think I deserved to know, and I still think so.

During this past week, Jesy has given me looks of sadness, disappointment and annoyance. I don't know what is on her mind, because she hasn't told me anything.

Over all, it's just quiet and calm in the apartment. One part of me misses Perrie and her laugh and smiles, but the other part thinks it's nice to be without her since I am angry with her. Jesy doesn't know for how long she will stay here. I think she feels bad for me now when Perrie moved out. If Jesy goes back to London with Leigh, I will be here all alone. Jesy, Leigh and Perrie are really the only people I hang out with in this crappy town, and I think Jesy would feel quilty if she left me here.

"Aren't you going to fight for her?" Jesy asked me a few days ago. I thought about my answer for a while, and then I decided that, no, I won't go after her. I don't want to fight for her because she has obviously made up her mind. And I will have to be okay with her decision.

- PERRIE -

"Today was great, Lucas. Thank you." I smile at him. We're standing outside of my entrance out on the street.

"It's just sad I can't stay any longer..." he comments. "I could join you?" he asks more than states.

"No, Lucas. I need some girl-time tonight. No boyfriend." I explain as Lucas raises an eyebrow.
"What?" I ask confusedely.

"You called me your boyfriend." I can see that he is hiding a smile.

"I guess I did." We haven't talked about our relationship like this; like boyfriend and girlfriend. I've just assumed that we've been going out for a while, and I guess he has too.

"I like the sound of that." he smiles, then adds: "Girlfriend." He leans in to kiss me, and a minute later he's in his car on his way back to Middlesbrough.

I hurry up to my apartment to make myself a simple dinner to eat before I change. Tonight I'm going out partying with Alex, and unfortunately Johanna as well. Johanna's side-kick Em is having a party this time. It will be nice to hang out with Alex and see how she has been, but I don't look forward to meeting the other two girls. I'm sure none of them likes me and they probably sighed when Alex asked them if I could join them tonight. After all, I don't have anyone else besides Alex to hang out with (except Lucas).

I make myself some pasta and chicken, eat it and then change into my party-wear. I've chosen a short, light blue dress that I remember wearing on Alex's last birthday. It still fits me very good even tohugh her birthday was almost a year ago. I put some make-up on my face, nothing too complicated. I straighten my hair and make a half up-do to make my face a little freer.

-

"Wow, it's a really nice house she has." I comment on Em's house when we walk out the car.

"I know, right." Alex agrees, and then pays the taxi-driver. I instantly remember my awkward visit at Johanna's enormous house a few months ago. This house reminds me of hers, only a bit smaller.

From the house we can hear music and shouting. The party has already started, but I don't mind. Mostly, I am here to get my mind on something else than Jade, and to show other people that I am a little social.

Alex walks between me and Johanna, and I'm thankful. Johanna still hasn't even glanced at me and I have barley seen a smile since I got into the taxi with the two of them. I guess that Alex, Em and Johanna hangs out a lot in their free time, so I can see why she doesn't like somebody else ruining their good times together.

When we enter the house there are people dancing, drinking and making out. It's quite calm, people standing in corners and sitting on couches, not doing any cray stuff yet. I follow Alex and Johanna to get some free drinks and to find Em. After filling one red cup each, we search for her. There are a lot of people here, and finally Johanna spots her talking to some blonde girls.

"Hiiiii babe!" Em shouts happily when she spots Johanna and Alex approching her. She gives them quick hugs and kisses on their cheeks, and then she just glares at me. She whispers something to Em that I can't hear, but it is probably about me. Why else would Em look at me like I'm a trash can?

Okay, so my only "friends" in here are judging me for being here and I don't know anybody except them. This will be a great night. I can feel it.

(I guess it's been a while... Hi :) I hope you liked this part xx )