Masks (Destiel AU)

Chapter 3: Home Life and Friendship

Cas' POV

How could I make it go away if I didn't know what was causing it? 

I felt a small tap on my shoulder and snapped out of my thoughts, instead focusing on Sams' face. He smiles slightly and offers his hand, I take it and he pulls me up and into a fierce hug, whispering into my ear

"Thank you, Castiel. I really appreciate it." He pulls back and I notice the small crease in between his eyebrows that made him appear older. I nod awkwardly at him and glance over his shoulder to the boy behind him, almost not recognising him without the confident demeanour he usually wore.

He looked smaller with his shoulders hunched and a shy smile on his face rather than his usual grin. He shuffles over to me and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, his eyes look into mine and I find myself losing myself in their flawless mix of greens and hazels. Sam clears his throat and we both glance down, blushing furiously. The things this ridiculous boy made me feel were unsettling and exciting.

He looks back up at me through his eyelashes and laughs. That's it. If he isn't gonna the first move then I will.

"I was hoping to be smooth about this but I can't find a way to slip this seamlessly into the non-existent conversation so here it goes." I take a deep breath, my confidence fading fast. "Dean Winchester, here is my number. Please call me and we can catch up outside of school sometimes, not right now cause my dads waiting in the car but, sometime." I wink at Deans flushed face and offer Sam a small wave, which he returned with a bemused grin. 

I bounce over to my dad and slid into the car with a silly grin on my face. He scratches his beard and raises an eyebrow at me. 

"So your first day went well, I assume?" I nod vigorously and describe each class to him, finishing with an excited yell about making the football team with Dean Winchester. This was what I loved about my dad, you could to him about anything. I tap my fingers absentmindedly on the black dashboard and examine the scenery passing by my window but I can't help but compare the green trees to Deans' eyes.

Deans POV

I watch Cas walk off with an open mouth and wide eyes. I slowly swivel back to Sammy and see that he's biting his lip and staring intently at the ground, I slip Cas' number into my pocket and instead make my way over to my little brother.

I cant believe that I slipped up on my first day of school, and in front of my only friend. I shake off the feeling of failure and instead pull Sammy into a light hug which he returns with a passion. I stare over his shoulder and feel myself beginning to put my emotional walls back into place. Be strong for Sammy, don't feel and lock it up. I rub his shoulder soothingly and rest my chin on his head when he starts crying softly. 

I pull back and hold his shoulders, the older brother role clicking back into place easily.

"Hey, hey, look at me. Look. At. Me. It's okay, Sammy. See?" I gesture to myself briefly. "You don't have to worry, okay? I'm okay, you're okay and this school is awesome, right?" I say soothingly. He laughs and nods lightly, giving me the once over quickly. He nods to himself and jumps into the passenger seat of my baby.

The drive home is completely silent as I brood over my flashback. Occasionally I got panic attacks and couldn't pull myself from memories but normally I'm able to lock it up until I'm alone. I hated when I wasn't in control of myself and when Sammy had to see it happen, he's just a kid, he doesn't need to see me like that. 

I sigh and pull into the motel car park, barely putting my baby into park before Sam scrambles out of the car and rushes inside, claiming he was starving. I groan and rub my eyes, leaving baby's door open as I poke my head inside the door.