Angel Left In Hell

Chapter two

 

You don’t know me, but you know of me. If only I could find a way to contact her. To let her know that she is not alone. It’s been a year since I’ve seen her, since she showed us who she really was. She should us her bright blue eyes, I would assume to be an ocean blue, and showed us that she believed in love.

 

 Then she just disappeared, but no one knows how. We’re all mystified, she’s an angel she doesn’t have any powers or anything. She can’t just vanish in to thin air like that. She was the only one with pure black wings; every time someone met her they instantly knew that she was different. But it turns out that we weren’t sure how different she really was.

 

 There’s something about the way she looked at me one day, which made me fall for her. It was as if she could see into my soul, as if she loved me. But then again she could have just been looking around and thinking about her freedom, she ruined it for herself that day.

 

That’s the one thing I will never be able to forgive her for. We could have been together if only she had kept her mouth shut. There’s no use hoping, I’ll never be able to find her. It’s probably for the best; I mean she probably would hate me for not standing up for what I believe in. Really I would love to but unlike her I’m not good at hiding. Other then that I would much prefer to keep my life as simple as possible. The simpler the better.

 

 Rain was pouring out side, it was a constant flow. The sky darker than usual and the lightening flashing. It perfectly fit with my mood, I was depressed. I couldn’t help but think of her, she somehow lingered in my every thought. Somehow that one day stayed in the back of my mind at all times.

 

I thought about going in search of her, but all the signs were washed away by now. There would be no logical way to find her, and even if I did what then. She would try to kill me thinking that I was after her. Would she ignore my pleads thinking that I was lying? Would she feel bad after she ripped me to shreds? Even though I was the same as her in every possible way. Does she ever think about me? Does she even know I exist? Or has it been too long, has she forgotten every one she once knew?

 

 In this world nothing can save you, prepare you for what’s next. With every word you say you risk your life, a life not worth living. No life is worth living if you can’t be yourself, if you can’t love. Not that anyone here cares to think about it. Not that anyone here cares about anything but themselves, not that I think more highly of myself. But the truth must be told.

 

 To think I use to be like that, I use to be the thing I hate the most. What I wouldn’t give to be free, not that anyone is ever really free. But to have more freedom then this. But nothing could stop me from what my heart decided to do, not even my want for a simple life.

 

 I silently creep through the ever darkening storm, being careful to never leave a trace of my existence behind.  Thunder roared around me, the sound echoing through me head. My breath was loud and heavy breaking through the silence. I was aware of every sound of every movement around me.

 

Would they come out and get me, how would they kill me? The bushes seemed to be stirring in the wind making it impossible to tell if someone was hiding there. How would people find me? Would anyone care? My breath became silent as a creep past the outskirts of town, never once looking back.

 

Once a few miles out of the town I noticed the sky start to lighten up, everything began to look more cheerful. I was off to find my one true love, nothing could stop me now. The grass got longer the further I went; I was careful not to bend it away from its normal state.

 

 That would only get me killed. Flowers stated to appear making this meadow lovely, the most beautiful and peaceful place I have ever been in. Every part of it reminded me of her, the way she smiled. How she looked so free on that terrible day I thought I lost her forever. Night turned slowly into morning and then daytime. Still my search continued, not that I expected any less.

 

The forest became denser, I felt like it was closing in on me. I kept looking around, not for signs of her, but for pure fear that someone was following me. I was most defiantly paranoid, but I had to keep moving forward. Otherwise they would find me; nothing could make me risk that. No amount of exhaustion or hunger.

 

I would get to her and tell her everything that was left unspoken. Tell her all the things I do in my dreams, hoping to fill her heart with delight. To make her face fill with happiness, bring a lovely twinkle to her eyes. To block her ears with words right out of her dreams, to prove that I’m the one. I will make sure I do that, I don’t care how many tries it will take. Or how many times I’m rejected; I would do anything just to be able to hold her in my arms. Even if it is only for awhile.

 

 Hopefully I would be able to pull this off with little to no flaws. I don’t think anything can go wrong, I’ve dreamt of moments like this for ever. But who’s to say I’m not dreaming again?  Who’s to say that I won’t wake up to find myself wishing once again that I was strong enough to actually be doing this? I don’t remember going to bed, but then again I never know.

 

 Maybe this is all a dream, maybe I did fall asleep reading old letter that I wrote to her. Maybe I should just give up and let them slowly, painfully rip me to shreds. No one will care, she will never know and no one else here has any feelings.

 

 No one here has any kind of emotions or an education; they're just as good as savage beasts. Heck they are probably worse if you think about it. Beasts at least care for their children, they don’t stone them to death or let others push them off a bridge. Even if they do they still show signs of being hurt by it. Never figured it was that bad.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Zina