Piss Boy [manxman]

Chapter Five: Feelings

Piss Boy
Chapter Five: Feelings

THE FOLLOWING morning I was being awkward and was avoiding Scott a bit. I didn't want to make it seem as if he was a bother or as if I didn't like his company, but the night prior to today made some feelings awaken.

I realized that I do, in fact, have feelings for the boy I've grown to know as Scott. Meaning that I would have to come to terms with me being gay.

Now, this is pretty big for me, as I would imagine it would be for anyone trying to accept their love for the same gender. I am not homophobic or anything -- I have no problem with gays whatsoever -- but I just never would've thought that the day would come where I would build up a crush for a guy.

The thought of it sent shivers down my spine every time I thought of what coming out would mean.

I've seen people come out of the safety of their closets only to wish to walk right back into it. Not everyone would be so understanding and accepting, and I've never actually been bullied before so I don't plan on getting hurt -- both from physical and verbal harassment -- now.

I'm sure with this being college people would be a little more open minded and not as close-minded as everyone is in highschool and junior high but some people stick to their opinions. I wouldn't judge them for it, hell, I wouldn't judge someone for anything.

I'm not judgemental, if someone does something they must have reasons for it. If someone was selling themselves on the street, that doesn't mean that they're, "whoring around," that could mean that they're trying to support their unsteady family or just themselves. Who knows, their parents could have kicked them out or died.

Point is, I just don't judge people like that. Sure, when I first saw Scott I assumed he was poor and all, but that doesn't mean that I think any less of him than I would anyone else.

In the first hour of school, I stared at my desk for the most part and snuck glances at Scott.

With me being nineteen, it was a bit embarrassing to have just found out about my sexuality. Just after hearing the bell ring I sighed and packed my backpack before heading to my next class.

ΠΠΠ

After walking into the canteen I got a fizzy drink from the vending machine that the cafeteria provided. I didn't get lunch as I know I wouldn't have eaten it if I had. My thoughts kept drifting back to the one and only Scott.

As I was away with the pixies I didn't care that I was in the corner of the canteen, sipping on my drink at a lone table. The chatter of the cafeteria surprisingly wasn't as loud as it had been all of the other days that I've been here.

I couldn't spot Scott anywhere, as I wasn't able to do all of the other times I've had lunch. We probably don't even have the same lunch hour, I'll have to ask him about that when I see him -- hopefully today.

Wait a second, why is it that even when Scott does get sleep, he manages to fall asleep? I would know that he does get sleep on some days because he tends to come over often. Is the stress of college causing him to fall asleep? Or maybe ...

Maybe Scott has a disorder ...

ΠΠΠ

Once last hour was over and I had rushed back into my room, I got out my laptop, prepared to do some research. If Scott does have a sleeping disorder, I wanted to help him as much as I possibly can.