Being his Friend

Chapter 4

Phil's POV

We went through to the kitchen and grabbed our meals, taking them back through to the living room to watch more of the movie we were watching; 'the ring 2'.

I was glad when Dan resumed his previous position next to me.

Chris, PJ and Jamie are my best friends, and the only ones who know I am gay.

I haven't come out to my parents yet because I'm scared, scared of what they might think.

I'm also scared for my social life, I'd had girlfriends before but only to make a point to anyone who might judge me.

I never really liked any of them, I just went out with girls who threw themselves at anyone and ended it after a week or two, before anything would happen that I didn't want to happen.

I know it sounds stupid, and I know I can't be happy until I'm completely honest. But being gay doesn't go done so well in our school.

I've seen people pluck up the courage to come out openly, and come into class 20 minutes late with a limp and 'FAG' sharpied onto their foreheads.

I know it makes me sound shallow, but I don't want to be one of those people.

So I'd kept it to myself for about 3 years now. I planned to come out during college, seeing as there might be nicer people there. Hopefully they wouldn't be homophobic pricks like most of my school.

Dan was really attractive, though.

I knew he wasn't gay, and even of he was, he would never go for someone like me, (typical, right?) but I can allow myself to have a schoolboy crush.

The blanket was only small so we shuffled close together and shared some spring rolls.

As expected, there were some scary parts to the movie, and with each jump scare someone or other would let out a little squeal or full on scream in Chris's case.

It was weird, we'd only known Adrian a day, and Dan a few hours, but we already felt as if they belonged with us. Like they understood us, unlike the rest of our school.

When we started hanging around Jamie it didn't exactly go down well; mostly for her.

She got called a slut, desperate, emo, goth, slag all because she was different.

She didn't realise she was being bullied, she didn't understand that it wasn't her fault.

In that time PJ, Chris and I really had to be there for her , even when we got stick for being 'pedophiles' and told we were 'using her'.

We never told Jamie about that, of course, it would hurt her so much to know we were suffering.

It's all stopped now though. We're all there for each other now! It's like a kids TV show.... 'and the moral of the story, kids, is that friends are... um... great! And some more shit like that. SHARE'

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I could barely concentrate on the movie. I kept stealing glances at Dan when I was sure he wasn't looking.

He really was perfect. The way his hair came down over his face, the soft outline to his jaw, even the way he wore his clothes. He was just... wow.

I'd only ever dated one guy before, which was sort of in secret. We were really good friends and both weren't sure weather we were gay or not, so went out with each other for a bit to just make sure we were.

It turns out, he wasn't and I was. We ended it and said we would still be friends, but it was just awkward so we drifted away from each other eventually. Luckily he was a nice guy, and didn't share my secret with anyone, but he's moved down South now, so it doesn't really matter.