Tourniquet

Chapter Six

The dreams had been terrifying.

Terrifyingly good.

Grimmy and I hadn’t stopped that night, he took me after strangers, people from my old secondary school, and he even took me to the bald paramedic. We had slaughtered them all. I had been coated in blood and dirt, my hair matted in an untangle-able mess. The smile on both our faces could have been mistaken for the crescent moon.

My heart had been throbbing in my chest, the excitement of doing something so illegal yet so thrilling was almost too much take. I wanted to do it over and over again, until my whole body was covered in the red warmth.

I inhaled fast.

The slight knocking of the door could only just be heard of the beating of my heart, the pounding so loud I’m sure you could mistake it for the door.

“Lily! You there?” Laura practically screamed, almost knocking over the door with her latest knock. The thumps continuing even as I slowly walked to the door.

“I’m coming.” I bellowed out before I checked down to make sure I wasn’t in just a t-shirt.  Letting out a sigh of relief as I spotted a pair of my checkered bottoms hung limply on my waist I twisting the golden doorknob swinging it open to reveal Laura.

Her red hair was swiftly pulled up into a messy knot; loose curls falling own her face. Her hard eyes stared at me taking in the look on my face before quickly dropping to my outfit, a slight smirk lifting.

“Who was the guy?” She questioned watching as the blush on my face rose, the tips of it hitting all the way up to ears. Did she mean Grimmy?

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I stuttered out, dropping my eyes to her slipper-clad feet as the blush burnt, most probably permanently keeping a place there. She scoffed before pushing her was past my shoulder scurrying into my hallway.

Damn neighbours.

She had always been like this. Ever since I moved here, just over a year ago, Laura had somehow slithered her way into my life. One time she had asked for sugar and then ended up staying over night. I don’t know how.

“Please, come in.” I muttered, slamming the door shut and following after her. Laura’s retreating back heading into the kitchen, I heard a low curse as she realised nothing was in there. She was looking for him.

Great.

Sighing, I walked to the leather sofa and flopped down covering my eyes with my left arm. She’d only been here for a few minutes and I was already wanted to kick her out. Feeling out for the remote, I clutched at it and twisted to face the television.

The news blared on; some guy was sat in a car, as he talked straight at the camera with frantic eyes, the video panning out to behind as a trail of ambulances and other police cars followed. Dropping back down I rolled over and faced the back cushions, willing for her to disappear and leave me to my disgusting thoughts.

Kill her.

Groaning, I smothered my self into the sofa, digging my hands into the black leather to stop myself from running after her and shoving her out before I did something I’d regret.

You wouldn’t regret it; I’d know Grimmy would say.

I listened as Laura moseyed around the apartment, drifting in and out of rooms, her body fluttering to an fro between the door and my belongings, but a slight gasp had me off the sofa and sprinting to my bedroom, my feet thudding on the wooden floor.

What had she found? He wasn’t still here was he?

“Laura? Laura what is-“ I stopped dead, my eyes trained on the light blue piece of plastic dangling from her right hand, the quizzical look she gave me almost had me closing the door in her face and running for the hills.

“Is this what I think it is?” She questioned, her voice almost like a whisper, the curiosity in her voice was almost overtaken by the sheer amount of worry she had.

“I-umm-I-“ I stuttered unable to find words. I knew she would leave, everyone does, I can’t keep friends or family or, well, anyone, even the nosey neighbours.

“Aren’t tourniquets dangerous?” She asked with pain laced in her tone. What has she got to be in pain for? “You could kill yourself!” She fired. She doesn’t understand. She didn’t have to teach herself how to use one for every time she fell over.

“No-one would care.” I whispered, watching as the worried look finally turned to one of anger, the gap between her eyebrows furrowed before her eyes harden.

“How dare you! I woul-“ Her screaming voice was drowned out as I heard the slight buzzing of the news reporter, it was the only noise I could focus on. Leaving Laura behind I robotically walked to the television, my feet slowly pacing, the dull thud of my footsteps echoed as the reporters voice got louder.

“His body was found earlier today,” the brown haired man on TV stated, the strands of his jacket flapping in the wind. “We believe his name is Lawrence Roberts.” I high pitch gasp had my head turning so fast my neck cricked.

“Isn’t that?” Laura squeaked out, her eyes widening, “Oh my, oh my, oh m-“ I cut her off immediately, my hands clamping down on her mouth. I did not need to feel guilty about this and I did not need to think about it, Laura freaking out was definitely not helping my situation.

“I know.” I bluffed out, willing the tears to my eyes as I tilted my head back around to the grey box, the news reporter currently talking to the police. A fat guy with a nineties hair cut stood in front of the house I was only at yesterday, his face turned down as he spoke.

“It is believed this was a suicide,” My breath got caught in my throat, was this a mistake? “His body was found hung in his bedroom doorway and a later we found a suicide note stuck to his chest with masking tape.” He finished. What was going on? I had killed him and I knew I had.

I watched as he stopped breathing.

Did I dream it?

“Lily,” she whispered, “Did you know-did you-was he sad?” She stuttered out, her eyes still trained on the TV. I just stared at her, my mouth dropped.

“N-no.” I whispered, not trusting my voice. Would they be able to tell I killed him, was I going to end up in jail?

Like my parents.

“Lily,” she sounded distant, “Do you want me to go?” She asked, pointing to the door, her eyes pitying me. Nodding slightly, I walked her out, watching as she left. Laura gave me a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before she went back to her apartment. “I’m sorry.” She whispered before I closed the door in her face.

I sighed as I leant against the barrier between me and the outside world, the thumping in my heart bringing a smile to my face.

She didn’t suspect.

I could do it again, and again, and again.

But had I been dreaming it, was it just a figment of my imagination? Slowly leaving the door behind, I wondered back into the kitchen my eyes zooming in on the set of knives on my counter, glinting with anticipation.

I never stopped staring at them.

A week must have past and the only thoughts that raced through my mind were kill, kill, kill. Whenever I left the apartment I had to pretend to be the upset ex girlfriend of the man that had committed suicide. The news reporters asked questions, the police even pulled me in to the station, but I couldn’t stop thinking about death. And his son.

Did Grimmy really exist?

Had I really dreamt up this whole thing?

It was only at Lawrence’s funeral that my question was answered.