Harry Styles Imagines

43 - Football (au)

Football

*Harry's POV*

                                                         My little son runs across the field in his football jersey, kicking the ball with his feet. Laughing, he races over the field. I smile at him, clapping in my hands and cheer at him. He runs and runs until he tries to make a goal but I catch the ball in my hands. My son runs toward me to grab the football but I catch him by his waist and tickle him. He wiggles in my arms, trying to escape my tickle attack. Chuckling, I put him down and he strokes over his jersey.

 "One day I want to be as good as Uncle Louis!" He announces and takes the ball in his hands.

 "One day you're going to be even better than Uncle Louis!" I tell him and he giggles while shaking his head yes.

 "He is the best of the best," He replies proudly and devoted, "When can we visit him again?"

 "I don't know, we can do that soon." I tell him and steal the football from his grip.

 "I wish mom could see how good I am at playing soccer," He says sadly and my chest feels immediately as if someone put a heavy rock on it, "I am good, right? Uncle Zayn said I'm the best!"

 "Yes, of course you are the best."

 "Do you remember when I played with Uncle Louis against Uncle Niall and you? We were such a good team! Mom would be so happy, right?"

 "Of course she would be happy," I say, smiling down at him, "Your team lost, though." I wink and he laughs but it sounds sadder which makes me feel uncomfortable. I hate it when we talk about this topic but I love it at the same time. I love to think of my wife but at the same time it pains me so much.

 To think of what I had with her, all the up and down's, all those amazing and beautiful memories we share, gives me enough reason to cry and laugh. I'm always torn between those two things. My love for her is so big—I'm happy as long as she is happy. But my agony is so big—it eats from me the inside, tearing on every part of my body, on my heart, which only beats for her.

 "Mom would be proud though, right? She loves me even though I lose a game, right?"

 "Of course, she will always love you. No matter what you're doing," I kneel down beside him and he sits down on one of my legs, "Just as much as I love you, buddy."

 "I miss her, Dad. She always made great cupcakes with me."

 "Hey, we can do that too!" I try to encourage him but fail miserably.

 God, how much I miss her.

 I don't just miss one thing in particular, I miss everything about her. I miss her being next to me, I miss her hand in mine, I miss her on the other side of the bed, I miss her laugh, her angry voice, her fingers, her warmth. I miss her every damn second of the day.

 "She was the best mom in the world." He tells me and leans his head on my chest.

 She wasn't just the best mom in the world, she was the best wife in the world. She was my best friend, my personal angel, everything I could have asked for. She gave me a son, she gave me love and happiness and I always felt like home, no matter where I was, as long as I was with her.

 She was everything to me; she was my personal angel, my breath, my happiness.

 But now my sunshine is gone and everything is either pitch black or clouded by a gray which makes it so difficult to look through. My son is the only thing that I still love so much that I would do everything for him, that I would die for him. He is what I got from my wife and I can't thank her enough for giving me such an amazing son.

 "Do you think she is happy? Do you think the angels in heaven are nice to her? Can she maybe even see us?" He asks and a glimmer of hope lights up in his eyes.

 "I hope she is and I know she is watching over you." I say and my fingers stroke through his hair.

 "Is she watching over you, too?" He asks and I nod, "Mom is now an angel, too, right?"

 "She always has been." I mumble and I give him a kiss on the forehead. Every normal boy in his age would have been disgusted by this gesture, saying that he is too old for that. But since Y/N is gone nothing is the same anymore, he is not the same anymore. She took something from us and we won't get it back.

 "You're the best dad in the world." My son says with a choked voice, both of us suppressing the tears. He hugs me tight, remembering me that it is now only me and him.