Third Wheel

T.W/ 7/Broken

"Who?" I mumble. "Who are you talking about? Are you sure it's not Grandpa?"

Tears drip from her eyes and she hugs the box to her chest as if it were the most precious thing in the world. 

She walks back in the kitchen and places them in a vase immediately. I watch her as she carefully places the red tulips in one by one and smells them after she's done. She's still crying but she doesn't care as she looks at them. 

What is she thinking? As she gazes at them with love. What is she thinking? I just don't know but the scene is heartbreaking. As if this were never meant to be.

I get angry as the realization comes to me. My heart crunches at her and that guy. How... how... could he...? No, it can't be. Never. Never. I won't let it happen again. As much as I'd like to throw those tulips away, I can't. Mom will break, and then I'll break and everything I've built until now will... break.

What do I do then?

Ugh... I feel sick.

...

"Ms. Sakura." The teacher calls me. I raise my hand and he nods. I put down my head against the cold wood of my desk and look out the window. It's raining. Very hard that I can hear it pound against the ground. It makes me angry.

I try to sleep but I can't. I'm starting to remember things again. That time, and my mom. Her expression on her face when he left. She was broken. What do I do? I can't stop this, something has already started. I don't know what to do...

Ah... oh no... I'm starting to cry. In class! I cover my head and try not to shake because someone will see and they'll want to know why. But it's none of their business. I hate it when people make it their business to know things they don't need to.

I feel a poke from behind and sigh. My dread is instantly gone and I forget for a moment. Another poke and I feel irritated cuz he doesn't know what he's done. What a Jerk.

"Yo Mikan. Give me your homework." He smirks and I glare.

"Do it yourself, you bum!" I half whisper and shout, earning a glare from the teacher.

"So now I'm a bum? Meet me after class, Miss. Sakura."

The class ooh's, I slump into my seat, and Cat-kun chuckles in his seat.

So I stay after class and the teacher lectures me about being rude and paying attention in class. I tell him that the boy behind me is annoying but he doesn't believe me. Apparently he's an 'honor student'. Ha... what a joke.

After I get home from school I hesitate to enter my house, so I instead go to Hotaru's but when I pass her window I see that Nogi is there. I hesitate to knock her door.

He's smiling beside her, making her laugh out hysterically. He touches her hair and she glows in happiness. 

It's almost as if time has stopped completely. It's just them and I'm not a part of it.

I pause and watch them, they don't notice me at all. I don't know what to do at the moment. What should I do? If I knock on her door, she probably won't hear me because she's laughing so hard. I'll interrupt their peace. I'll be a nuisance.

There's no place for me here, or there, or anywhere.

Ah... I'm feeling sick. I don't want to see anyone anymore.

I get home and instantly spot those stupid red tulips on the table. I nearly puke.

The only thing I do is pass the food that mom has prepared for me. I ignore the note placed on it and head straight to my room. Without removing my clothes, I sleep and forget about everything for a moment. I can pretend like I'm dead to the world, maybe then everything can go back to normal.

I won't have to remember those red tulips, Hotaru, my mom, school. Anything. I won't have to remember my father.