Third Wheel

T.W/ 23/Reason, Part 2

All throughout the night I hear talking downstairs but I don't risk stepping down there. Instead of missing another couple of days of school, I decide to escape there instead. Out of all places I want to go the most, school is second on my list but it's safer than the Bakery.

If my mother wants to find me, it'll be harder to find me at school.

I sneak out my window and climb down the tree at dawn, walking to school as slowly as I can. Even after all that, my hands continue to shake like crazy. The wind is blowing hard and shaking the trees all around, my feet are dragging and I can feel myself losing it.

My heart hurts, my eyes are watery, and my hands are jittery. It's almost as bad as being rejected, abandoned, ignored.

I want to call Natsume again but I'll only bother him. After everything I've done to him-having been pointless-I can't bare to look at him.

Sounds like an excuse to me

It rings in my ears.

Finally, when the first gleam of light comes out, I go to my classroom and slide the door to go in. Instead of sitting at my seat, I go to his seat and stare out the window. The cherry blossoms are beautiful this year, I can't believe it took me this long to notice. It's so pretty, even through my water-filled eyes. As I wipe at my tears, it becomes clear to me that I never took a good look at the world or the people. I judged before I could even talk to them, I did things selfishly... only thinking about myself.

I can't blame my mom no matter what. She did influence me to be this way but I still love her. Her intentions may have been selfish as well but she's not perfect. I'm not perfect. No one is perfect.

"Hey..." I hear behind me, then I jump as I realize that I'm still in Natsumes seat.

I turn around and find him there... a little out of breath. He doesn't question why I'm in his seat or what I'm doing here this early.

"I went over to your house..." He takes a deep breath, "You weren't there so I came here as fast as I could." He probably ran so fast, that's why he's even wiping at his head full of sweat.

"..." I sit at my own seat and turn my head towards the window. I don't want to ignore him but I'm starting to think that he may be better off without me.

"You called me last night..." He states as he bends down at my desk, leaning forward closely to observe me. He knows that I'm not alright, that I'm dealing with something. Even though he doesn't know what it is, he's genuinely concerned about me. "What's wrong? What happened?"

The thing I like about him is that he doesn't ask me if I'm 'okay' he asks what's 'wrong' because he knows and he's willing to listen. If a person asked me if I was 'okay' I'd be sure to respond just the same. In this case, I could also say that 'nothing's wrong' when everything is wrong.

I turn to him and reveal my tears that roll down my cheeks very slowly, sadly. "Nothing's wrong." I try but I end up telling him everything. "That's not true. Everything's wrong..."

"..." Instead of asking anything else, he wraps his arms around my head and pushes it forward. "Sh...." His arms feel so warm and secure that I feel my eyes water even more than before. I cry like a little baby.

When I called him and hung up, he probably couldn't sleep all night long. So he woke up really early and went to my house, only to find that I wasn't there. He probably saw the tension between my mom and dad and then he came to find me here. It's seems unreal, cheesy, cliche. Even so... it's the sweetest thing ever. Even more so than Howalon.

"I have problems." I mumble after a good few minutes of crying. "My father isn't really my father after all and my mother has been lying to me about it all my life."