Look Alive Sunshine -MCR killjoy fanfic

Chapter 17

My heart raced, as I curled up against the wall of the van, shock filling the pit of my stomach.

I gripped my hair, my thoughts swirling beligerently through my foggy head.

My chin trembled, as my breathing was harsh and shaken.

"No...no no no.." I repeated under my breath.

"Nebula?" A husky voice asked softly.

I kept my eyes trained forward, my heart sputtering ferosiously in my chest. Pain shot through me at how hard it was pounding.

"NEBULA." The voice hissed.

I pryed my eyes away, looking shocked up at the figure.

Dr.Death sat in front of me, his wheelchair stooping above my curled up form.

My breathing began to slow down, as my thoughts drifted away.

He placed his hands gently onto my shoulders. I winced in pain, but he didn't notice.

"I'm so sorry about what happened..." he whispered.

I looked around, to see everyones eyes on me. I had just realized, that there were multiple killjoys in here, most I hadn't even seen before.

Some appeared sympathetic, some even angry. I shrunk down in my spot, nodding at Death's words.

He furrowed his thick eyebrows in worry, glancing over at the other killjoys.

Show Pony shrugged. Dr.Death sighed, before giving up and strolling towards the front of the van.

I sighed, turning my eyes out the back window. Desert scenerie sped by, endless land stretching for infinite miles.

My lips frowned, as I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall.

By body rocked and jumped, as we drove along Route Guano. Back to where I belong.

Tears rolled down my crimson cheeks. I realized, that I wasn't going home. Because I no longer had anybody I loved to share it with anymore.

---

The van slowed to a steady stop. My eyelids fluttered open, before landing on Dr.Death's headquarters.

I breathed out a heavy sigh, before attempting to get up. My arms and legs were wobbly, immedietely giving out on me.

The back doors to the van opened, revealing Show Pony. He gave me a saddened smile, before reaching towards me.

He laced his arms around my petite frame, effortlessly picking me up.

I curled up against his body. I felt so pathetic. So unbelievably useless, that now I had to be carried everywhere.

My entire body ached with an aura of intense pain. The pain soaked deep into my body, penetrating down into my bones. Every movement was almost unbearable.

I had always heard, that traumatic experiences, leading to chronic depression, can make you almost physically ill.

Maybe thats what was happening to me. All my strength was gone, any that I might've had before, has been wasted away.

But I've always been a worthless piece if shit to anyone, anything.

I've never meant a thing to anyone. My sister, means more to me than fucking air itself.

And now she's forever gone...

God it hurt so bad.

Pony carried me inside the HQ, leading me to a set of rooms in the back.

He took me inside, setting me down onto the bed. I slumped forward, weakness engulfing every muscle in my being.

Pony attempted a smile. He leaned forward towards my upright figure, placing a gentle kiss between my brow, lingering for a few solitary seconds.

I felt my tension leak away, smiling just a little. He pulled away, brushing my long ribbons of hair out of my eyes, tucking them behind my ear, before walking out of the room.

I sighed once more, observing my surroundings.

Instantly, my door came open again, this time Dr.Death entering.

He flashed me a forced smile, me returning the strained gesture.

He strolled over towards the edge of my bed. "Here is some clothes for you, I couldn't really find anything else."He pulled a set of folded clothes off of his lap, placing it beside me on the bed.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

He nodded, forcing another failed smile, before leaving the room, latching the door behind him.

I carefully got off of the bed, pulling apart the folded clothes.

I peeled off the ugly white scrubs, throwing them into the farthest corner.

I slipped on the provided jet black high waisted shorts, folding them up to the top of my thighs.

I grabbed the light green oversized shirt, pulling it on over my head. It reached my thighs, just barely falling above the seam of my shorts.

I felt my eyes brim with tears, as I gazed down at the shirt.

I pulled the neck of the shirt up to my face, inhaling the unforgettable scent.

A sob escaped my lips, my legs crumpling me onto the bed.

It smelled exactly like him, this was one of Party's old T-shirts.

It smelled of stale cigerettes, sunshine, and just..him. I was high off of nastalgia, tears rolling down my face.

I curled up against the wall the bed sat against, sobbing into my knees. God I was so pathetic.

I lifted my head up, gazing across the room, out the window.

Beautiful setting sunlight filtered through the room, casting beams of orange and yellow across the dusty walls.

I wrapped my arms around my bare knees, resting my head on top of my knees.

A sigh breathed out of me, as my heavy eyelids slowly drifted shut, dreaming of the gorgeous sunset.