Look Alive Sunshine -MCR killjoy fanfic

Chapter 20

(A/N this chapter contains some dusturbing content for certain readers. Readers discretion)

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I groaned in pain, as I held my head in my hands.

My head pounded, my thoughts disturbed. I slowly opened my eyes, peering around at my surroundings.

I lay crumpled up on the floor, shards of broken glass and clay tile lay scattered around my curled up form.

I slowly lifted my head up, running my fingers through my hair. I looked around again, shivering in the spot I lay on.

The early morning sun sprayed the Diner with dusk's beautiful shimmering sunlight.

I slowly stood up, my head throbbing with an intense pain.

I walked into the far bathroom, broken objects crunching under my boots.

I flipped on the light switch, glancing at myself in the mirror. I gasped at my reflection.

Dark purple crescents hung under my dull green eyes, which lacked any glimmer of hope that I used to have. My cheekbones were hallowed out, more prominant than before.

I slowly lifted my shirt, my ribs so pronounced that they almost tore through my thin skin. Black bruises lined every inch, just beginning to attempt at healing.

I dropped the seam of my shirt, holding my hands out in front of me.

Sticky red blood dripped down my hands, completely coating my palms and wrists. My knuckles had torn muscle shown beneath the dried blood.

Bruises ran up and down my forearms. I stared at them forever, gently running my fingers over them.

I looked back up into the mirror, tears streaming down my crimson cheeks, my long eyelashes soaked in tears.

I threw open the medicine cabinet, rummaging around for anything.

A pair of cutting shears fell out, tumbling onto the tile floor.

With shaky hands, I hastily picked them up, sitting down on top of the toilet seat.

I looked back down at my exposed wrists. I opened the scissors, bringing the razored edge to rest against my skin.

I cried out in pain, as I carved into my skin. Blood seeped out of each cut.

I bit my bottom lip, so hard that I felt it beginning to split open.

I heaved heavy breaths, as I finished up, sweat dripping down my forehead.

Blood rushed down my arm, dripping down onto the floor. In jaggedy letters, "You Killed Them" carved into my pale skin.

Sobs escaped my lips, as I curled up into a tight ball, dropping the shears onto the floor.

I cried and sobbed in pain, blood dripping down my leg from where I had my arms wrapped around them.

"Nebula what have you done!?" A voice called out.

I picked my head up, looking around quickly for where the voice came from.

"Oh my God..." Party ran into the room, bending down onto his knees in front of me.

I stared down at him shocked, as he casually and gently picked up my left arm, inspecting the deep wounds.

Tears spilled down his own cheeks. My breath hitched, as he closed his eyes, bringing his face down to my wrist.

He placed a feathery kiss on my first cut, which was the deepest. He did this with every single cut and carving, tears flowing down my own cheeks.

After he lifted his head, he raised his eyes to mine. His large orbs of brilliant hazel met mine, taking the breath from my lungs. But they were empty, no sign of any feeling..

I uncurled my legs, bringing my face close to his. I reached out, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

Just as I did, his weight vanished from beneath me, bellowing out into a thin wisp of smoke. I screamed, as I collapsed onto the floor, desperately reaching out for him again.

But he had completely disappeared, washing away in an imaginary gust of wind.

I cried out, as I pounded my fists into the floor.

It wasn't real...he wasn't real.

I melted into a puddle of tears, as I curled up onto the hard, cold tile floor, surrounded by a pool of my own blood.