Modest Delusions - Book 3 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 11 - What does he deserve?

What does he deserve? 

A car alarm went off, it's siren blaring into the morning air with aggressive howls. Harry woke with a start, the sound was pounding into his ear drums and he winced. The moment he opened his bloodshot eyes he was greeted with unfamiliar surroundings, it immediately filled him with a sense of dread. Sunlight trickled between the curtains and striped his bare legs, he frowned looking across the unknown bed. His arms were strewn out and legs splayed between a tangle of black sheets and pillows. Harry groaned, his head ached and it was so foggy he could hardly think straight. What the hell happened last night? He wondered with a deep breath, a little hesitant to remember. Perhaps it was better to be left in the dark.

He stretched his stiff arms out and instantly noticed the bruising that speckled his pale, tattooed skin. Oh god, he thought. Harry groaned as he pushed his fists through a wall of black pillows. His arm touched the bare flesh of another and he yanked it back in surprise. Harry's mind was reeling, he looked across the pillows at the toned back lying next to him. Muscles contoured the tight skin that was etched in an array of tattoos, the chest rose and fell. Harry's heart sank as his mind began to scream in a blind fit of panic.

What had he done? And with who?

Logan sucked in a deep breath and as he peered between pillows he met Harry's wide eyes. Logan scrunched up his face as he yawned, "Harry," his voice was hoarse.

Harry opened his mouth but no words came to him, he inched away from Logan quickly and flopped onto his back. His eyes searched the crevices in the ceiling with some hope of finding answers. The answers he desperately searched for in the lines of the white roof that blankly stared back, giving him nothing but despair. His heart began to race and for the first time in months he felt an impending panic attack, as his chest tightened and his lungs began to constrict. What was worse then a panic attack, the fact that the one person who could cure him of the crippling waves of anxiety was Louis. The one person who was now gone. The one person, he thought with regret that caused his fall from grace.

Once Louis filled every waking moment of Harry's life with excitement and waves of fluttering butterflies. That weak knee'd feeling he'd get when Louis would sneak him a smirk on stage, brush hands with him behind interview desks. The way Harry would wake up inLouis arms and feel like he could conquer the whole world. The way he'd smile, a constant, unfaltering smile that would make his dimples ache but he'd refuse to stop because with Louis he felt so happy he could almost burst. The way his mind would always find new things on Louis body to admire, to commit in perfect detail to his memory.

Now, however those memories weren't fond. They were like an axe constantly swinging at his chest and burying deeper into his soul. Now, those memories he had cherished for so long were burnt images and feelings he refused to acknowledge. They ached in his chest like a wound that refused to heal, they caused him nothing but pain and regret.

Laying in bed those memories began banging on the door of his consciousness, screaming to be let out. He closed his eyes tighter and balled his hands into fists, the sound of Louis laugh as they lay in bed together began to reverberate through his skull like a hammer. His eyes stung with tears he refused to let fall, Louis laugh got louder, more insistent. With each giggle that teetered in his mind the memories grew closer, the memories pressed against the floodgates. "No, no," Harry murmured.

The bed moved and despite his closed eyes he could feel Logan moving closer. Harry flinched preparing for a touch he didn't want but Logan just spoke softly, "Harry, I'm here."

Louis whispered his a name. 'Harry...' It was a ghostly echo.  

Harry let out a whimper, he shook his head as he tried desperately to repress the images of Louis in his mind. The beautiful, enticing images of his Louis surrounding him.