Light In Him

Every Step

            Ember's POV
      He grips the sheets in his sleep as his face looks pained and worried. He flinches. I run my hand down Hus bare back. There's many scars, but he always has a tattoo that I didn't know he had gotten. Its my name is is cursive with the date of the day I said I love you.
     "It hurts," he says in his sleep. Tears escape from his closed eyes. Before we went to sleep last night, I looked up symptoms for PSTD. He has most of them, being defensive, constantly on edge, now the nightmares it makes since with him telling me hat he was just tried yesterday. It also sees like him to not tell  me since he doesn't like letting people in on his problems. Me, I still have nightmares about what my dad used to do to me, but they stop whenever Jonny is around at night. He makes me feel protected. 
   
  "Wake up baby," I say, shaking his shoulder. He grip my forearm and squeezes in a way that will for sure leave a bruise. Knowing that he won't wake up to just my voice, I slap him across the face. He shoots up, letting go of my arm. I take hold of it and rub the hurt area. He grabs my glasses and puts them on me so I can see as he turns the lights on. 
    "I'm so sorry. I hurt you," he says, running his hands over his face, his eyes growing watery while a guilty look appears on his face. "My mothers righ-" I want to slap him again for saying that about himself. 
   "You are nothing like your asshole of a father and your mother can go suck it. You are the kindest , and most loving man I know. Don't you ever say that again to me or to yourself. You were asleep and didn't know what you were doing," I tell him.He looks down at his calloused hands, not daring to look at me. I wish he would. Or at least tell me what I already know. It's not something he should be hiding form me. I want him to trust me enough to tell me these things. 
   "Now you'd never say yes," he says. I place my hand on his muscular shoulder. 
    "To what?" I ask, nervousness and anticipation building. He shakes his head. "I'm tired of you hiding things from me. Just tell me for Gods sake." He looks at me with wide eyes as my heavy southern accent comes out for the first time in years; it only comes out when I mad.
    "I was going to ask you to marry me damnit! But know I've hurt you and you won't say yes to spending the rest of your life with me!". My eyes well up. "Before your brother and I went your parents, we went to a jewelry store and I got a ring," he says. He reaches over to the night stand and opens the small black box. A small diamond rings sits there. "I know your answer won't be what I want it to be, but its still worth a shot.
     Ember Illi May, I've loved you since the day you asked me my height. You were the only one who wasn't and still isn't scared of me. My love for you is forever. This child has made me love you so much more though. So, will you marry me?"
     "Yes," I say. He looks stunned then smiles, slipping the ring onto my finger. He lays me down on my back and holds himself above me, making sure to not give me any of his weight. "Don't think that I'm letting the other thing go. Why haven't you told me about the PSTD?"
     He looks away from me. Little fun fact, we agreed that he lives with me while he's here. "Cause stress isn't good for you or the baby and I didn't want to risk anything. I love you too much to put you through yes another loop."
      "You need to tell me these things, daddy. You not telling me just makes me even more worried," I tell him. He smiles a little and goes back to kissing my neck.

AN: I HEAR WEDDING BELLS!!! STAY ALIVE |-/         -veah