The Outsiders Oneshots

Ponyboy X Reader

   Breathe Me

Warnings: Angst and maybe depression. Slight mood swings.

(More Modern AU)

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    You twisted the headphone's cord around your finger as the music blared through the speakers. It was a croaky sort of sad song. It sounded like the artist really cared, or cared enough that you could feel it deep in your stomach. You were in your room. Your parents were away, like most days.

    You skipped school that morning, hoping maybe your mom would call. At least she would talk to you, even if that meant you were in trouble. You scoffed at the thought. When did your mom ever punish you?

    You were laid back on your bed and staring at your ceiling. You felt like you were submerged in ice. A numb feeling was rushing through your blood. Every second felt like you were being given anesthesia. You were waiting for the non-existent pain now.

    You stood up and walked through the thick smoke cloud in your room. You smoked a lot and that was obvious. You looked down at your shaggy carpet. It had cigarette burns or burnt holes that led to the floorboards underneath. You had started smoking to see if your dad would say anything. He'd always said he hated smoking and if he ever caught you, you'd be in trouble.

    So, of course, you lit one right in front of him and blew smoke in his direction. Nothing happened. They just didn't care and that was horrible. You wanted them to care, wanted them to interact with you instead of giving you money and leaving for days.

    You screamed. You couldn't feel anything! You weren't mad, you weren't disappointed, you weren't sad, you definitely weren't happy. What were you feeling? Was it a combination of all of the feelings?

    You balled your fist up and slammed it into the nearest thing- a mirror. You didn't care when your hand stung like a thousand needles or when you pulled your fist away. Glass was stuck in some parts of your knuckles, but you didn't care.

    You still felt numb. Your eyes drifted up the reflection in the mirror. Why didn't anyone care?

    You sank to the floor, and for what felt like in forever, you cried. You had never full-on sobbed before, but you did now. You felt the uncontrolled sobs shake your body and you just wailed. It sounded so pathetic, but you did.

    "Y/n?" A voice called through the house and you only tried to silence your sobs a bit. If they were a murderer, let them kill you.

    "Y/n, it's Pony," The voice called out. Why did he show up? You thought he was mad at you. Well, in his defense, seeing you dancing with a stranger at one of Buck's parties probably wasn't so cool.

    Soft footsteps stopped outside your room's door and you could see his ratty converse through the small gap.

    "Can I come in?" Ponyboy asked. You sat in silence and he just opened the door. He had his eyes covered with his hands. "I hope you're decent."

    He was trying to make you smile or laugh. You'd been trying too.

    He moved his hand away from his eyes and saw you sitting there with a bleeding hand and glass shards around you. His silvery green eyes widened and it felt like a pang in the chest.

    Ponyboy makes you feel emotions?

    "What the fuck happened?" He questioned and rushed over. He was next to you, on his knees, and looking over your knuckles.