Because I Am The Alphas Mate *EDITING*

CHAPTER 1

Edited*

(3 YEARS LATER)

I can't.

I can't focus!

Shaking my head and closing the book, I get up and fall on my bed, hearing the distant sounds of music blasting but there's nothing I can do. You see, when you live near someone popular at school, it's bound to get crazy on Friday nights. Since school was out a few hours ago, I was trying to get homework done, but no. Looking out the window, I look down the street to see people outside a yard, having what they call "fun".

Ever since freshman year, I've dealt with seeing teenagers making a fool out of themselves by getting into too many relationships, knowing they were not ready to commit. I've seen students making pranks in the teachers lounge. I've seen dodge balls flying, aiming for my face although my reflex skills are rather on point.

All this, to graduate.

High school is such a stick in the mud and I can't wait to grab that stupid piece of paper, hold it tight and dip right out of here. Sadly, my foul mood only comes from what happened with my stepfather this morning and upon arriving at the house. I had gotten hungry so I made myself some lunch and I wasn't going to make him any, but recalling that one night when Stephen came home and he had no dinner or lunch made, gives me the chills. His hands and legs had shown me just how much he loves it when I don't make him food. The entire situation ended with my body coating a few tiles on the floor, completely drowsy with aching muscles.

Lesson learned.

Glancing at the ceiling, I decided to see if my Bluetooth headphones were charged since I had forgotten to do so two nights in a row. Luckily they were so I slipped them on and blasted music through it to ignore everything around me and focus on the rest of my Chem homework.

I was very sensitive about this class because of the roller coaster it took me through. Formulas, periodic table, solving to find Molarity. . . sometimes I wondered what in my sensible mind made me agree to have this class. But looking back at it, Tani was the one who had to take it and manipulated me into believing I needed this class too.

That little minx.

Getting through it anyway, I only stopped focusing when I thought I heard a thud coming from somewhere in the house. Since my headphones are noise-canceling, I didn't know if that had just been a beat or an actual sound. I spend one too many times checking if noises are actually coming from my music or the house. So tentatively, I took them off to listen and finally the dots connected. Stephen arrived. His room was next to mine, so I could hear the noises coming from inside and although he usually was throwing stuff or listening to loud music, this was a different type of noise.

Ever since my mom's death, he has been with a different woman almost every night. I couldn't stand it as usual, so like usual, I grabbed a bag that I leave ready for these types of situations and made my way out of my room. As I do, a lady comes out of his room, her eyes still watching him I assume, as she smirks.

"I'll be right back baby, just you wait."

Ewww.

I felt the vile of my throat inching towards my mouth, but as soon as she saw me after closing the door, I was already moving past her. Rather leave now then be questioned and have Stephen come out to see me. If anything, I was going to avoid him as best as I could. I needed to survive these last few months and leave after graduation since I'm still seventeen and will graduate that way. Luckily, I had a place to escape to. Like always, Tani was going to be waiting for me at her house as I had texted her already. Hey, now you can escape the loud music from the party too. Win-win.

________________________

"Where's the chem homework?"

I glared at Tani as we sat in the living room watching a scary movie and eating ice cream. After everything, she ought to know me better.

"In my room, being disintegrated by a large bowl of water."

"No need for sarcasm."

"No need for stupid questions."

Despite how we talk, there's no hard feelings. Often times, Tani likes to distract me by making me talk and if getting sarcastic is one way of doing it, she's all for it. After everything that has started and continued with Stephen, I have moments where I want to talk. But, then I feel it's pointless and somehow, Tani senses that. Fortunately, she's let me off the hook for now so I won't have to tell her about Stephen.

Hopefully I can get through this year without having to tell her anything. It's already been long and stressful with us being seniors and planning to apply to colleges, so I don't feel like making things worse by adding my crap unto her shoulders. Hers or anyone else's for that matter. Alongside Tani, Angela and David are also best friends of ours. We're tight, but I keep them in the dark about certain things. I feel guilty all the time, I know I should tell them, and yet, it's easier to hold back.

As the bell rings for my first class the next morning, I once again, confirm to myself that it'll be best for all of us, if they never know anything. That way we graduate and go to college without me having to stress them out any further.

"Okay​ class, I have a lot and I mean a lot of grading to do. If you could all do other homework from other classes quietly or work in pairs for the project, that would be great. If you get too loud I'll stop this and teach a lesson."

Immediately, the class was relaxing. Something about not having to hear a teacher go on and on about a subject felt nice, liberating almost. Conversations spread like wildfire, but they were soft. I jumped into my chem homework, trying to tackle as much as possible. Even with my good grades, my habits were terrible. It's a shocker I got this far without stressing out. Still, I must admit, not having many friends helps. This way, I get work started without any distractions or interruptions like I notice other classmates have. Being a loner was never an issue, I'm not like Tani, Ang, or David. I can't make conversation easily or keep it up and I'm fine with that.

At least, I'm smart.

For the remainder of the time, I work pretty diligently until a sharp pain shoots up my back. Even if it's been a while since I got a beating from Stephen, my body still ached. I knew the ice pack could only help so much. It worried me at times that the bruise was this strong, but recalling that night, whenever he's drunk, he's even more aggressive and I got to see that first hand. Never will I ever get the guts to talk back when he's not sober.

With a heavy sigh, I let my head fall and prayed that today flew by fast. Exams and homework just didn't mix well with me when my head got in a negative space. I push through it, using college as a motivation, but I could barely sit through class without wanting to twist my back in hopes of relieving the pain. It eases up after a bit and I relax on my arms, hoping my body was not tense enough for anyone to notice. Giving it a good thought, I might be lucky and get to sleep in my bed without him disturbing me tonight. Maybe my wounds will heal before he decides to have another go with me. . . ? If I'm unlucky though, he'll get back to the house early tonight to disrupt my sleeping cycle with his fists which I'll have to fight off again. I'll have no energy for homework, but will force myself to do it overnight so I'll wake up late and skip breakfast.

What a healthy routine. . . I know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There we go!

Short first chapter! I'm getting back into this and I want to see how I can better this confusing little book of mine. It's 11:40 pm where I'm at, and somehow, even with the nasty sleep schedule I have of going to sleep at 4 am, I don't feel tired. Unhealthy, I know. . .

Thanks for reading!

Stay safe,

CAM