monsters || the walking dead - negan

XV

❝She's the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile.❞

⛤

Alicia followed Negan through the rugged hallways until he stopped her. "You go in there, and wait." He said to her sternly and Alicia knew that he was serious. She turned the corner as she looked back at Negan who pursed his lips before continuing down the hallway as Alicia opened a door, that lead to a room. He didn't want her getting hurt, just when he finally had her by his side.

It was empty, couple of leather couches and alcohol. She frowned looking around, she had never seen this room before. She heard a clanking sound which slightly startled her, as she sat down on the leather couch.

Her thoughts were once again consuming her, she was overthinking which was a bad habit of hers. She sighed closing her eyes shut as she leaned against the couch taking in a deep breath.

"You do don't you?" Alicia smirked as she turned to the boy who was slightly blushing. She pushed him playfully, as she let out a chuckle. "Oh please don't be embarrassed! I bet she likes you too." She smiled as he smiled back at her swinging his arm over her shoulders.

"You're actually being nice today, what's up?" He grinned as Alicia raised her brows. "Glenn just shut up and go talk to her." Alicia nodded towards Maggie who was sitting on the porch.

Glenn breathed in and out as he nodded rapidly walking to her. "Go get her tiger!" Alicia yelled after him as Glenn turned to her laughing.

She smiled plopping down on the green grass as she looked at the blue sky. It was a peaceful day for once. But she knew it wasn't going to last forever.

She slowly opened her eyes as she looked around, she was still in the same room that Negan had told her to go. She turned to her right seeing a familiar face as she smiled stretching her arms. "Hi." She whispered looking at him.

He smiled genuinely looking at the beautiful girl in front of him as he reached out towards her brushing her hair behind her ear. "Hi." He whispered back as she smiled to him.

"So what was it about?" She asked turning fully towards him. She was still tired, Negan saw it in her face; the bags under her eyes, the usual tiny sparkle slightly gone.

"Nothing just the usual, some nutjob got the fucking-absolutely-stupid idea to grab a gun and shoot some walkers." He said calmly, or so he tried. He was actually scared shitless, that someone was about to come in and kill her. He just knew, he had to kill them first if that were to happen. Negan looked at Alicia with a small smile playing on his lips, as he pulled her to his side.

She lightly laughed curling to his side. "What an idiot." Negan scoffed letting out a laugh, agreeing.

"Do you ever wish to go back to normal? Like, normal-normal." She furrowed her brows in confusion even she didn't understand herself. "If that makes any sense, at all?"

"Dunno, I wouldn't have met you.. or something like that." He said looking ahead at the white wall as he brushed her hair.

She tensed a bit, she had almost forgotten the first impression of him. Terrifying and damaging. To her.

"Yeah.." She decided to let it slide as she clutched onto his shirt. "But.."

Negan looked down at her, confused even. "But what?"

She sighed straightening up. "Why aren't I out there? Like other people. Guarding, going out on scavenges." She said looking at him nervously; she had wondered this a lot. Just what was her place in the Sanctuary? Since he didn't make her to be his wife, put her doing stuff on the outside. She only stayed inside. 

Why?

"Do you want to?" He asked leaning towards her. "Just say so. Tell me and I let you." He almost demanded as he got even closer as Alicia leaned back a bit. He actually didn't want her to go out there, but he also didn't want to restrict her. Negan knew she was very capable of taking care of herself, but he still had a right to be afraid. Afraid for her.

"I don't want to." She whispered slightly frightened. The side of Negan he only showed to her was something she could imagine being with. That side of him. The kind, gentle Negan; she could be with him.

She could.

But this frightening, terrifying; most likely scary, demanding Negan he showes to everyone. She couldn't be with that person. She couldn't be with a person who scares her. Who scares her so much that it reminds her of her father. Someone that terrifying.

Negan leaned back sighing, he noticed she was scared even though she wouldn't admit it. He brushed his hair back, glancing at the girl who was twiddling her fingers.

"I.." Negan started but he sighed. "Never mind." Alicia lifted her head, looking at him. Was he trying to.. apologize?

"It's okay.." She reached out for his hand but he placed his hand away. Alicia sighed forcefully taking his hand forcing him to look at her. "Negan. Look at me." She placed her hand on his cheek as he leaned into her touch.

"Negan, look at me when I'm talking to you.." She whispered softly, as he looked at her through his eyelashes.

"I will always be scared." She started as she let out a smile. "Not scared because of you, the big bad wolf. I'm scared of what could happen to you. I'm scared of this sick, wicked world which does scare the hell out of me if I one day get bit or even worse if I witness someone get tore apart in front of me." She brushed his cheek with her thumb holding his hand tightly as she gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I'm not scared of you." Alicia said truthfully looking into his hazel eyes.

"I am. Scared for you." He admitted as Alicia smiled leaning to him, as they looked at each other for a while until the gap between them was closed by Negan, his chapped lips on hers, her soft, plump lips on his. He tasted like cigarettes but she liked it. It was a unique trait of him.

She smiled into their kiss as she straddled him, the tension in the room growing.

With that the two spend a magical night in each others embraces, looking at each other with such love and passion. 

She knew it would be hard leaving him.