8. Say You Won't Let Go - Pt 1

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We've come so far my dear, look how we've grown,
And I wanna stay with you, until we're grey and old....
Just say you won't let go...
- James Arthur

Brie's POV

Part of me wanted to call Justin but a part of me also didn't. I wanted to tell him about seeing the picture and how it had made me feel. But I didn't know what I would say to him. It would make me have to finally accept that what I saw was real, if we actually talked about it. There was a soft knock on my front door before it opened slowly. "Aubrey?"

"Yeah," I whispered.

Cassie walked into the living room of my apartment, she looked around the dark room and then to where I was buried under my blankets on the couch. "You okay? You sounded like something was wrong on the phone and I was worried about you."

"I know. I just . . . I'm scared Cassie and I don't know what I'm gonna do."

Cassie glanced over to the coffee table, picking up the photo. "Holy shit, Brie. Is that real?"

"Well, unless this is my worst fears come to life. Then yes, it's real."

"Oh, Brie . . ." Cassie's voice was filled with a mix of shock and sadness as her fingers ran over the grainy picture. "How did this happen?"

"I had sex with Justin, that weekend he came back for me and well, that's . . . I'm . . . well . . . I'm—"

"Pregnant," she finished the sentence for me.

"Yes," I whispered. "I'm . . ."

Pregnant. I hadn't even said the word out loud yet to see how it felt on my tongue. How did this happen? That's a stupid question. I knew how it happened. I just didn't know what I was gonna do about it. How would I break the news to Justin. I rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. The last time he thought I was pregnant was just before I told him that I cheated on him.

What if he thinks I did this on purpose? I feel like something always happens that makes things difficult for us to be together. What if he doesn't want a baby right now, things are going so well for him. He's having a successful tour and is a million miles away. My career is now taking off. I'm just so confused and scared. But most of all I'm afraid that he won't want this and realize that coming back to me was a big mistake.

Cassie walked over to the couch and sat next to me. She pulled the fluffy pink blanket up around us. "Did you just find this out today?"

"Yes. I thought I was sick again cause I hadn't been feeling well the past few days. And I wasn't getting better so I went to the doctor as soon as I finished with my last client."

She looked at the sonogram photo again. Her face bunched up and she pulled the picture closer as she squinted her eyes at the image in her hands. "I can't really see much of anything. You sure it's real?"

"They did a blood test. Plus, I basically forced them to do an ultrasound."

"Does he know yet?"

I shook my head no. "I don't know what to think. I've been trying to . . . I don't know. I don't even know what to tell him or how to tell him. It should be in person, and right now I can't even remember what country he's in. I can't do this." The panic started rising again. "I can't just call him, we just got back together Cas."

"So that means you don't want to keep it?"

"Cassie . . ." I let out a deep breath. "I wouldn't . . . I mean, that's not what I'm even thinking about doing. You know I love kids. And I would eventually maybe want one with Justin after we figured out how our relationship is gonna work especially with him always being away and after some careful planning. And definitely when his career settled down a bit and we were married for a couple years and had a house."

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