13.There's nothing holding me back!

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If you were by my side,
And we stumbled in the dark
I know we'd be alright,
I know we would be alright....
- Shawn Mendes

Justin's POV

Life on tour could be difficult, that much I knew and after the first few weeks I could tell that Aubrey was exhausted but she was putting up a good front because it meant that we could be together. She was homesick and literally sick. Whoever said morning sickness stopped after the first trimester lied.

According to the baby app that Brie downloaded on my phone, morning sickness could sometimes last the entire pregnancy and that worried me because I wanted to keep her and our baby girl safe. Even if it meant that she would have to go back to LA without me. The thought of that happening making my heart and head hurt.

Brie threw up more times than I could count and barely ate anything other than crackers. I had a doctor on call when we got to Italy just to make sure that everything was ok. He assured us that this was normal and it would pass within the next few weeks.

Brie and I spent most of our alone time together hanging out in whatever hotel room or suite I was booked in. Sometimes I sang songs to her stomach while she lay in bed beside me. She thought it was sweet and it always managed to make her smile. Anything I could do to ease her mind I did without question. I ordered her favorite foods and rubbed her feet when she needed it. She argued a few times that I didn't have to and that I needed rest after all the shows I was doing but she was the one growing our little miracle after all so I did it anyway. It was the least I could do to help and sometimes I felt pretty helpless especially on days when she got really sick.

I loved Brie and I knew she loved me but I also knew that she hated life on tour. It was no way to live. I worried about her all the time and I think she could tell. There was no way I could hide the guilt that probably flashed in my eyes sometimes when she would catch me looking at her. But I never said anything and neither did she. I knew it was selfish of me to keep her with me even though it was probably doing more harm than good but it felt better to have her near me.

Since she'd been with me I hadn't had to take my anxiety pills as much. She eased something within me with just her presence alone. She always had. I know she thought it because of my recent lifestyle changes and it was, but she also helped. She always knew what to say and we didn't argue as much as we used to, like we had when we first got together. She did seem a bit more emotional with all her hormones being out of control but she was hardly ever angry with me. She seemed sad more than anything and I would have done anything to put a smile on her pretty face.

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We had just settled down in our room when I wrapped her up in my arms and kissed her hair.

"Is everything ok, Justin?" She asked as she rested her chin on my chest and looked up at me. Her brown eyes huge and searching mine.

"I know you hate this." She gave me a confused look as I said it. "Being on tour I mean. You don't say anything or complain but I know you do."

"That's not true. I don't hate it. I love being with you Justin, that's all that matters." She argued.

"I love being with you too baby. But this can't be good for you." I rambled. "You're either tired or sick or both all the time, that can't be good for you or the baby. And I would hate myself if something happened to you. I don't want to be selfish and as much as love having you with me I think it would be better if you go home."

"No." She almost shouted. "I'm not leaving you. Not when things are finally good between us. I can't do this without you."

"It'll just be a until Christmas then I'll have a break until next year. We can be together then. I won't be so worried about you because I know you and our baby will be safe." I explained as I put my hand on her belly. The words making my heart ache.

"I can't do this without you." She sobbed as tears fell down her face. I hated to see her this way. I hated being the reason she cried but it was what was best for both of them and I had to put them first. I prayed about it and in my heart I knew I was making the best decision for all of us.

"It's not going to be forever." I whispered. "I'll be on the first plane out of here if you need me. You know that. I love you Brie. I'm not going anywhere. In fact there's something I want you to have."

"What's that?" She sniffled while wiping away some of her tears. I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear that had fallen loose from her ponytail then I reached into my pocket. I had snuck away a couple days ago and bought a 4 karat diamond ring for her. I had been hiding it waiting for the right time to ask her and also to build up enough courage to ask. I knew having a baby was already a lot to handle and that getting married was another thing entirely but I felt like if we were going to do it we should do it the right way.

"Will you marry me, Brie?" I asked. My heart bursting with hope and love. I was so afraid that she would say no because I had also just asked her to leave and also because the last time I put my heart on the line it got crushed, but I knew it was different this time. We were different. "I love you. More than anything in this world and I love our baby already. Even though she's not here yet and I want us to be a family. I know life with me won't always be perfect and I may not always be there but I promise to do my best to make you and our baby as happy as you make me. Please say yes."

I probably should have planned something more romantic. If it was up to me I would have called her up on stage that night during my performance and made a big show of it but I knew that that's not the type of girl that Brie was. She was always low key. She always hated the fame and lights. A romantic dinner would have been nicer but I felt like now was the right time so that she knew that I wasn't bailing on her. She would know that I was here to stay. I held my breath as I waited for her answer.

"Yes." She answered simply, more tears filling her eyes as I tried to wipe them away. "Yes, I love you too Justin. So much."

"So I get to keep you forever?" I asked just to make sure I heard her right.

"Yes silly." She laughed through her tears. "You get to keep us forever."

"You hear that baby girl, your mom promised to love me forever." I bent down and kissed her tummy. She laughed and I felt flutters move across her stomach.

"Did you feel that?" We both whispered at the same time.

"I think so." I answered keeping a hold on her tummy as she placed her hand over mine. I looked up into her eyes as I kissed her stomach and felt the movements again. Tears filled my eyes. Our baby had just kicked for the first time. I was so happy I got to share that moment with her, that I didn't miss it.

"That's our baby." She sniffled again. "He's happy. I think he heard you."

"She...she's happy." I corrected. "I'm so happy too. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Can I stay until we get back to London? Then I'll leave." Brie asked softly like she was afraid I'd say no. "I just need one more week with you if I'm not gonna be able to see you for the next few weeks."

"Of course you can baby." I assured her. "I'll make this last week the best you ever had. I'm sorry, Brie."

"Why are you sorry?" She questioned.

"That this is so hard for you." I answered. "That we can't be together like you want. That I have this damn tour to finish."

"Don't be sorry," She replied. "I knew what I was getting myself into."

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Hey guys, hope you liked this update. I feel so motivated to finish the story now.

I hope you liked this update. There is more to come. Maybe about 5 more chapters or so.

Please vote and comment and let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading! ❤️

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