Her Deliverance (vol. 2) ON HOLD

Forty-one

The drive back to Harry's house was silent the entire way. Minus the sound of me constantly sniffling as quiet sobs erupted from my mouth, of course. The strength I managed to have at my aunt's house vanished the moment Harry and I climbed into the car. All my walls had broken down and I was crying like a baby, staring out through the windshield in dismay. It was pathetic and I hated that I was crying in front of Harry, or crying at all but I just felt so defeated. It was as if holding in all my emotions over the past few months were coming at me full force and I was beyond overwhelmed. I had zero strength in me and I was thankful that Harry hadn't tried to speak to me. He understood enough to know that right now, I didn't want to talk. But being the good guy he was, he still chose to hold my hand on the console between us just to still let me know that he was there.

It was only when we had pulled into Harry's driveway and he shut off the car, that he turned to look at me. My eyes were trained on the chipped white paint of the garage in front of us but I went physically stiff when Harry opened his mouth. "Em," he began and when I said nothing he continued. "Emmeline? Babe?" His hand wrapped around mine let go and then I felt his fingertips brushing my cheek. I blinked, and slowly turned my head to stare back at him blankly. His eyes were filled with worry and his lips turned down at the corners as he wiped away the wetness under my eyes. "I'm sorry that-,"

"Stop," I spoke quietly, throat hoarse. "I don't want to talk about it."

His eyebrows twitched and his frown deepened. "I don't want you to hold it in. You can talk to me, you know that don't you?"

"I know, Harry." I spoke and breathed in deeply before letting it out through my mouth. "But not now. I'm tired. So fucking tired, I just want to go to sleep." He didn't respond and part of me felt guilty for not opening up to him like he wanted me to. I knew I could depend on him, I just wanted to be left alone at the moment but I still loved him. And knowing I had to get him to see that, I grasped his hand still lingering on my cheek and pressed a kiss on the inside of his palm. "I appreciate you being here for me and also for what you said back there. I-," I paused, the words I love you almost slipping out but right now was not the appropriate time. "It means a lot to me, you have no idea. But right now I just want to be left alone. I'm not pushing you away, I'd really just like to call it a night."

He silently watched me for a long moment, green eyes searching my face before he sighed and nodded. "Okay, love. I respect that."

I tried to smile but I was sure it looked forced, not saying anything else as I opened the car door. Stepping out into the cold night, I grabbed my purse and sauntered tiredly up to the porch. Harry was a little slow so I waited for him at the door, my arms crossed as I tried to warm myself up. He gave me a hesitant smile once he did reach me and dug his keys out of his pocket before opening the door. I slipped inside, making a beeline for Harry's room when I was forced to hesitate when Anne's attention was ripped away from the TV. Her and Gemma were still sitting exactly where we had left them and Anne furrowed her eyebrows, looking down at her phone to clearly check the time. "Hey?" She asked in confusion and her gaze flickered back to Harry and I. A frown pulled at her mouth when she studied my appearance. "What happened?"

"Mum." Harry said warningly and I felt the ball in my throat forming again. Fuck, I needed to get out of here before I started balling my eyes out again. Not wanting to be totally rude to Anne though, I merely gave her a forced smile that didn't reach my now watering eyes and speedily walked towards Harry's room. I made it there seconds later and the moment I closed the door behind me, the tears spilled from my eyes and I angrily huffed that I couldn't seem to stop them. So I reluctantly welcomed them, kicking my shoes off by the door and practically ripping my clothes off. Moving around the room as I cried, I grabbed my sweats and Harry's Green Bay hoodie to change into. My earrings came off next and though I wanted nothing more then to flop into bed now, I dragged my way to the restroom to wash my face off.