Author's Note: For @coolauntskam on Tumblr who requested number 141 in the drabble challenge. I hope you like it! It sort of took on a life of its own, lol.
***
Tonight, Even is desperate.
His mind is racing, the thoughts tilt-a-whirling around his head like an out of control carnival ride. He needs to tell Isak things. Needs to say them out loud. Needs to show Isak what this is, what they are, what it all means. But, Jesus fuck, he doesn't have the words. The ones that won't freak Isak the fuck out.
Isak, in his infinite patience, just stares at him. He is golden skin, and rose-petal lips, and limbs that go on for days. He is sinew and muscle and bone, parts that make up a whole that Even cannot believe – can't believe – is spread out next to him. And Isak's eyes, so full of understanding and warmth and – Christ – love.
Even opens his mouth to speak and nothing comes. He groans.
ISAK: What's wrong?
It's barely above a whisper, and his voice holds no sign of annoyance or accusation, but it grates on Even's eardrum like a serrated knife. Because nothing is wrong. Nothing at all. Nothing but him.
He's wrong. All wrong. And caught up in something so right, he can't even give it a voice.
EVEN: Nothing.
ISAK: Something.
His smile is soft, his voice softer.
Even wants to cry, but that's ridiculous. He wants to sing or make up a poem, or something. A film, maybe, without dialogue. Just endless footage of Isak sleeping and laughing and eating and loving him, loving Even, as no one else ever has. As no one else ever would, not that it matters. Isak is all Even wants. Ever.
But he halts that line of thought because it scares Isak. So, Even just traces his fingertips over Isak's skin, delighting in the tremor that passes through him. Savouring the hitch of his boyfriend's breath.
Isak frowns.
ISAK: Is it cloudy today?
EVEN: [shakes his head] Not exactly.
ISAK: What's bothering you?
EVEN: Nothing, I just...I don't want to overwhelm you.
ISAK: Overwhelm me?
EVEN: [kisses Isak's forehead] I know I can be too much for you sometimes.
ISAK: Are you worried about me running away?
EVEN: [sharp laugh] Always.
ISAK: Don't. [snuggles closer, his skin warm] Even if I did run away, it would only be for a day or two.
EVEN: You said that...what I want scares you.
ISAK: It does. Not because I don't want it, but...[thinks] Because I don't know what my life is going to be yet. I love you, so much, but people change. I could change. You could too. Right?
EVEN: [swallows hard and buries his face in Isak's hair]
ISAK: Even?
EVEN: [pulls him tighter]
ISAK: Come on, baby. Talk to me.
EVEN: [sighs and licks a line up the side of Isak's neck, making him gasp]
ISAK: [shivering] Not fair. Use your words.
EVEN: [shifts until he's hovering over Isak, staring down into his eyes] You're going to be a teacher. A professor.
YOU ARE READING
Moments
FanfictionWhat started out as random moments between Isak, Even, and their friends post season 3, morphed into a loose mini-season between S3 and S4. I attempted to fill in a few blanks, especially where Even is concerned. Also posted to AO3 and Tumblr under...
