Chapter 8

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I found this picture of Harry visiting Snape and thought it would go well with this chapter. :) 

Astoria awoke the next morning, got dressed and hurried to the Hospital Wing with refilled bottles of Blood-Replenishing Potion. After putting the bottles away, she goes to check on Snape. Astoria checks his vitals and waves her wand over his body. She then writes down the results on his chart. She stares at him a moment. He hasn't woken up yet. She hopes he wakes up soon. She notices that his face looks calm when he's asleep. His face smooth, making him look years younger. Though he still looks a little pale. Color is returning to his face. A knock is heard at the door. Astoria goes and opens it to see Harry. Harry looking worried asks, "Is he awake yet?" Astoria shakes her head and replies, " Not yet. I'm sorry." Harry asks, "Can I see him?" Astoria replies, "Of course." She moves aside to let him in. Harry goes and sits next to him. Astoria closes the door and sits with Harry. Astoria says, "He is on the mend Harry, but you have to remember how severe his injuries were." Harry nods, "I know. I'm just worried about him." McGonagall enters the ward and goes to Astoria, " How is Severus?" Astoria replies, "He's recovering, albeit slowly. He hasn't woken up yet." McGonagall sighs,"Let's hope he wakes up soon. I have taken over Potions until he has recovered. Please let him know when he awakens." Astoria nods, " I will headmistress." McGonagall looks at Snape one last time, then leaves the ward. Astoria gets up, "I am going to eat lunch now. I will return after lunch." Harry nods then looks back at Snape. Astoria says, "He may not be awake yet, but I am sure he's listening." Astoria pats Harry on the back then leaves the ward to have lunch, leaving Harry alone with Snape. Harry sighs, "I can't believe they did this to you. I'm glad your alive, Professor, even though your not awake yet. By the way, it's me Harry. I hardly slept last night, though I tried. I'm doing well with my studies to becoming an auror. All the more reason to become one. Ron's working at the joke shop with George. Hermione is working at the Ministry, in hopes of bettering the working conditions of the house elves. We're still coping from the war we had, overall we're doing ok. I'm also glad we don't hate each other. To be honest, I was getting tired of that." Harry looks at Snape, "I want to thank you for the memories you gave me, professor. For showing me my mother. Aunt Petunia never told me a damn thing about her, or dad for that matter. Just that they died in a car crash. It was a lie of course, Hagrid told me what happened. So I know the truth now. I know you hate my dad, and I don't blame you. I can't believe dad was ever like that at school. He was every bit as arrogant as you said he was. He reminds me a lot of my cousin Dudley. He was the same growing up. He was the one that was spoiled rotten. Not me. Oh no, heaven forbid I get anything. I wasn't even allowed to do better at school, than Dudley." Harry didn't know why he was saying all this, but he wasn't going to stop now. "Hence why my grades weren't all that good when I was at school here. They didn't feed me much either. I went weeks without food at times. Just kept me locked in a cupboard under the stairs, when I got in trouble. Then, I was moved to Dudley's second bedroom. It's why I look shorter than I should be for my age. I always wore Dudley's old clothes. They never bought me any clothes, saying freaks like me don't deserve nice clothes. I know I'm not a freak now. I did then though. I cooked and cleaned for them hoping that they would love me and treat me like they do Dudley, Nope. I got used to how they treated me and counted down the days, for when the day comes, I would be on my way back to Hogwarts again. Did you know the first presents I got was when I was in my first year here at Hogwarts? Yeah, I got my first ever Christmas presents. I didn't think I'd get any. I'm glad I did." Harry smiles as he relives that moment. "I know we respect each other now. I thought maybe if I told you all this, that you will see me for me and not 'The Famous Harry Potter' or 'The Chosen One.' I hate being famous. I still do. I also want you to know, that I am nothing like my father and never will be. I did what my mother did for me. I sacrificed my life to save everyone fighting at Hogwarts. I guess you can say that I'm more like my mum. Your memories gave me the strength to do what I had to do, to save the Wizarding World, my friends, my girlfriend, and the place I called home, Hogwarts. Hogwarts will always be my home. Anyways, I think I rambled long enough," He chuckles slightly, "I'm going to head down to the Great Hall and get a bite to eat." Harry stands and says, "Please wake up and soon, professor." Harry looks at Snape one last time and leaves the ward, to eat in the Great Hall. Snape awoke the next morning. Unable to sit up yet, so he remains laying on his bed. He heard everything that Harry had said. Everything that McGonagall had said. The conversation between Harry and Astoria. He couldn't believe he was so blind to the abuse Harry had dealt with. He knew Harry wasn't treated well based on the glimpse of memories he saw in Harry's mind, during Occlumency lessons, but what Harry had said to him was shocking. Did his hatred for James blind him that much? Then there is Lily. Petunia never told Harry about her. He will have a word with him, when Harry visits the next time. He thought back to when Nagini attacked him, on Voldemort's orders of course. He remembered giving Harry's some of his memories, remembered how close he was to dying. How Harry ran off with Weasley and Granger, thinking he was dead. How he somehow pulled out a vial of Dittany and poured it on his neck, where the bite was. Then let the vial fall to the floor. How, when the bleeding stopped, he stayed where he was for a moment. Then started to drag himself out of the shrieking shack. How he slowly reached the Whomping Willow and pulled himself out. How quiet it was outside. How he dragged himself into the school, since nearly everyone was inside, and how he collapsed just inside. He remembers waking up in the Hospital Wing with bandages wrapped around his neck. Snape shakes his head and sighs, knowing that Astoria will come to check on him soon, plus he really needed to use the loo. as well as feeling hungry. Astoria walks in a few minutes later, breaking Snape's musing. She stops abruptly as she sees that Snape's awake. Astoria smiles slightly, "I see you're finally awake. You've been out for an entire day., by the way, Professor McGonagall wanted me to tell you, that she has taken over your classes until your well enough to return teaching." Snape watches her as she waves her wand over his body. "Your organs are mending, albeit slowly." She looks at his monitors and writes down the results in his chart. Then looks at Snape. "I bet your hungry and by the way that your twitching in your bed, you need the loo correct?" Snape glares but replies in a hoarse whisper, "Yes." Astoria sighs, "Relax professor, I was merely asking. Since you can't get up from your bed yet, you'll need a bed pan," Snape gives Astoria a look, "Get used to it, you'll be using it for awhile." Astoria leaves to get a bed pan, leaving a horrified looking Snape as he watches her go. She returns with a bed pan, "Ready?" Snape sighs and nods, "Yes I'm ready." She puts screens around the bed and assists Snape onto the bed pan. Snape grunting in pain as the bed pan slides underneath him. She then gets 2 pillow to lift his head up a little. "There. You go ahead and relieve yourself, while I grab some tissue paper." Astoria leaves him to relieve himself while she grabs some tissue paper. Snape feeling relieved after using the bed pan, waits for Astoria to return. Astoria returns, "Are we finished?" Snape nods in response. Astoria hands him the tissue paper then waits outside the screen as Snape cleans himself. Astoria calls to him, "Let me know when you're done." Snape voice called back, "I am done now." She comes back in, and carefully takes the bed pan from under him and goes to the bathroom to empty it. Then she waves her wand over it to clean it. She labels the bed pan with his name and puts it away. She returns to Snape and looks to see if it was ok to remove the screens. It was. She removes the screens and said to Snape, "You're not ready to eat solids yet, so oatmeal will do, with pumpkin juice and perhaps a yogurt, alright?" Snape sighs but nods. "Anything you'd like in your oatmeal?" Astoria asks. Snape replies, "Peaches. I'd like tea as well." Astoria replies with a slight smile, "Very well, I'll see to it that the house elves bring exactly what you asked. I will help you sit up so you can eat." Snape nods again. Astoria satisfied, leaves to talk to the house elves. Snape sighs and waits for his breakfast. House Elves appear with his breakfast. They place it on the tray table as Astoria enters the ward and walks towards Snape. She moves the tray table towards Snape keeping it within his reach. Then she comes and helps Snape sit up slowly. With much grunting and groaning, she manages to sit him up. Propping pillows behind him to keep him sitting up. Astoria then sits down in a chair, next to him. Astoria says thoughtfully, "If you saw the damage they did to you... It's a miracle you survived. " Snape take a sip of pumpkin juice and winces slightly, then looks at Astoria and asks in a hoarse whisper, "Was the damage that bad?" Astoria nods, "Yes, as I said before, it's a miracle you survived." She smiles slightly, " You are one resilient wizard." Snape replies, "I suppose so." Though Astoria noticed how his eyes glittered. He then resumes eating his oatmeal and drinks some tea. After finishing his breakfast, Astoria moves the tray away, then asks, "Professor Snape?" Snape looks at her, "Yes?" Astoria hesitates then says, "I recognized one of the curses that was used on you, besides the Cruciatus Curse." Snape raises an eyebrow as he said, "Really?" Astoria nods, "Yes. It was Sectumsempra." Snape's eyes widen as he hissed, "Those idiots used my own spell against me?!" Astoria replies, "Calm down, Professor. Yes. It seems like it, as I had to use the counter curse to close the wounds." Snape looks even more surprised, "You know the counter curse?" Astoria chuckles, "Don't look so surprised. Of course I knew. Those who study to be a Healer or Mediwitch would know. You know it's the first time we ever even talked to one another. Properly I mean." Snape replies, " Yes well.... there's not much to do around here, is there?" Astoria replies, "There is always something to do when you're a mediwitch." She looks thoughtful again, "Is there anything you'd like us to bring up to you? like the Daily Prophet or some books to read? So that you won't feel so bored." Snape eyed her up and down as if sizing her up. Wondering whether he should allow her into his office or even his quarters to get some books. Against his better judgement he decides to allow her to enter both, in order to get some books he'd like to read. Snape replies, "Yes there are some books in my quarters and my office, that I'd like to read. You will, however not touch anything other than the books I ask for. Is that clear?" Astoria raise her eyebrows, "Crystal clear." Snape tells her the password into his quarters and office and what books he wanted to read, then replies, "I want to rest now. I feel very tired." Astoria says, "Of course. I'll go get your books while you rest." Snape nods and closes his eyes, eventually falling asleep. Astoria goes and get the books he asked for and returns to see Harry sitting with Snape. She sets the books down on the table and sits by Harry, "Professor Snape woke up this morning." She smiles. Harry looks surprised, "He did?" Astoria nods, "He had some breakfast and had me get some books, then went to sleep." Harry relaxes looking relieved, "That's great!" He smiles. Astoria smiles then asks, "Is there anything you can tell me about Snape. He seems a bit closed off, you know." Harry nods, " I can only tell you what I know. Snape and my mum were friends since childhood. Mum was the only one that ever made him happy. The only one that would let him be himself. He eventually fell in love with her, but he never told her, because he felt that she wouldn't feel the same, and he didn't want to lose the only friendship he had, if that was the case. So he kept it to himself. She broke down every wall he had up too. She somehow managed to get him to talk about his home life. Which...was similar to mine actually. They became close friends as they grew up. When they started Hogwarts, mum went to Gryffindor while he went to Slytherin. That didn't stop them from hanging out." Harry smiles. "Though the other Slytherins, like Lucius, wanted him to stop hanging out with her. He didn't My dad and godfather bullied him mercilessly." He said bitterly, "All because he existed. They started bullying him the minute they saw him on the train! As if he didn't have enough to deal with back home. He now had to deal with my dad and godfather! So, add the bullying he gets from them, his home life, and pressure from the other Slytherins, it's enough to do anyone's head in. So when my dad and godfather humiliated him in front of the entire school...." Harry stopped. Astoria asks, "How Harry?" Harry sighs then replies, "By hanging him up by his ankle with the Levicorpus Spell. One of Snape's spells. See, when he was at school, they wore robes, like Dumbledore, so you can imagine what happened..." Astoria looks horrified, " They didn't..." Harry nods, "They did. Everyone saw his knickers.. whether they took even that off, I don't know. Professor Snape caught me looking at his memories and pulled me out before I could see what happened next. " Harry looks down. "They reminded me of my cousin Dudley and his goons...You know, my godfather still thought it was funny. When I confronted him about it. He only said it was a prank and thought nothing of it. I don't think he ever saw me as me, but as James. Since I look so much like him." He sighs. Little did they know that Snape had woken up and had heard it all. He had remain quiet until now. Snape replies hoarsely, making them both jump, "Enough." He looked at Harry, who starts apologizing profusely, " I'm so sorry professor, I know you said not to tell anyone, but I.." Snape weakly raised his hand up. Harry went quiet. Snape starts again, "Enough. There is no need to apologize to me. Let me finish, Harry." He said as Harry was about to interrupt, but stopped at hearing his name come out of Snape's mouth. "I heard everything you said about your home life." Snape sighs then continues, " I should be the one apologizing to you. I should have never assumed that you were spoiled. Nor should I have treated you so cruelly while you were here at Hogwarts. I was so blinded by hatred towards your father, that I only saw him when I looked at you, but then I look into your eyes, and....." Snape swallows, " and I see your mother, Lily. You have her eyes, Harry. Precisely her eyes. All those times that I have looked into her eyes... " Snape sighs, "Not to mention, that we all had Voldermort hanging over our heads. Add the children of death eaters...and the connection you had with Voldemort.... I had no choice. If Voldemort sees into your mind and sees me acting kindly towards you.... My cover would be blown." Snape sighs, then looks into Harry's eyes and ask, "Will you forgive me for how I treated you, for all these years whilst you were here at Hogwarts? Forgive an idiot who was so blind... so full of hatred...?" Harry rests his hand carefully on Snape's shoulder and smiles, "Of course I forgive you Professor, and you know something, I bet mum has forgiven you for calling her that name, and is very proud of you for protecting me." Harry smiles, "Thank you Professor for using my name." Snape sighs, " You are welcome Harry. It's about time I did and thank you, Harry. I truly hope so..." Astoria looks from one to the other and asks, "Called her what exactly?" Snape looks at Astoria, "I called Lily a... a Mudblood. Not a name you would hear in a civilized conversation. I was angry and humiliated. I took it out on her. I never meant to call her that. It is something that I regret to this day. It was the reason that I lost my friendship with her. After losing her, I gave into the pressure my fellow peers were putting on me. I had nothing to live for, so I followed them into becoming a deatheater. I still wanted to belong, to feel accepted. I Thought I had found a place where I can feel as if I finally have found a place where I belong. I made the most fatal mistake, I told Voldemort of what I heard of the prophecy. I never knew he would interpret it has Lily's son, being the one the prophecy was foretold. The moment he did, I switched sides. I begged Dumbledore to hide her, to hide them all, if needs be. I wasn't counting on Pettigrew to betray them." Snape said bitterly." Harry replies bitterly, "Oh he did. Sirius was the one to convince my dad to make Pettigrew secret keeper." Snape replies bitterly, "He truly was an idiot, no offense Harry." Harry replies, " None taken. You're right. He was an idiot." Snape sighs and continues, "Well, it didn't take long for Voldemort to find them, and murder James and Lily. Though he failed to kill you." He nods to Harry. "I was devastated, ever since then, I swore I would protect you the best I could. I've kept my word." Astoria looks at Snape in awe. "You were so brave to do what you did. To make sure her death wasn't in vain. All for her." Harry smiles slightly, "The bravest man I've ever known." Astoria smiles, "I agree to that." Snape, not used to compliments, merely said, "Thank You." Astoria looks outside and notices that it became dark and said, "Well, I think it's time that Professor Snape got his rest. Let's all rest up. I will see you in the morning, Severus." Snape looks at her a moment then nods and rests his head on the pillows. Looking to Astoria once more, he says. "I underestimated you as well. You too are very brave for rescuing me, with your quick actions and ministrations. Thank you for saving my life. I owe a depth of gratitude to you." Astoria smiles, "If the Order hadn't subdued the three deatheaters, I wouldn't have gotten to you in time, but, thank you. Rest now, Severus." Snape nods, closes his eyes and falls asleep. Harry quietly says to Snape, "Good night, Professor." Harry gets up from his seat and walks out of the ward. Astoria looks back at Snape and says, "Good Night, Severus." She leaves the ward and closes the doors. 

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