Just This Once (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 17

#JustThisOnce

Kabanata 17 

"Lose?" sabi ko habang naka-tingin sa kanya. "Is this some kind of game for you?" I kept silent for seconds, waiting for him to explain himself. I didn't want to judge him so harshly. I didn't want to jump into conclusions. Gusto ko na ipaliwanag niya ang sarili niya at ang mga narinig ko mula sa kanya. Ayoko na maniwala na para sa kanya, laro lang ang lahat ng ito.

That I was some thing he needed to possess. That I was some kind of trophy he needed to win.

Naghintay ako habang naka-tingin sa kanya. But as seconds passed, the truth became clearer.

"Is this because of Maven?" I asked him.

He clenched his jaw. "Don't talk to him."

"Bakit?" balik na tanong ko sa kanya. "Bakit hindi ko siya kakausapin?"

I didn't know what his deal was. I didn't know why he was acting strange. Lumipas ang ilang buwan na hindi niya ako kinakausap. Nakatiis siya na ni hindi man lang ako tinatapunan ng tingin... tapos ngayon, ganito?

"Because..." he trailed. Naghintay ako pero walang kasunod. He just looked confused and pained. And I didn't know what to make of it.

"Because what, Parker? Because from my perspective, wala namang masama kung mag-usap kami ni Maven. He's single, I am single," sabi ko habang mataman na naka-tingin sa mga mata niya. Hindi ko alam pero parang tanga ako na umasa na sabihin niya sa akin na 'wag kong kausapin si Maven dahil nagseselos siya. But who was I kidding? This guy in front of me is still madly in love with someone else.

Tanga lang naman ang magmamahal sa isang tao na may mahal na iba.

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath at saka tinignan muli ako. "Can't you just listen to me?"

"Know what? Baka ikaw 'yung dapat na hindi ko kausapin. Tatlong buwan mo akong hindi pinansin, Parker! Tatlong buwan! Do you know what kind of torture that was?!" hindi ko mapigilan na pagtaasan siya ng boses. "I said sorry over and over again pero hindi mo ako pinansin! You made me feel horrible! Tapos ngayon, didiktahan mo ako kung sino ang pwede kong kausapin?!"

My chest was heaving and I was just pissed at him again. No matter how hard I tried to distance myself from him and to made myself apathetic with all his affairs, isang salita niya lang, para na naman akong bulkan na handang sumabog dahil sa inis.

"I didn't—" he tried to explain and then gave up. "Just trust me on this, Genesis."

"Whatever I do with Maven, wala kang kinalaman doon, Parker."

"He'll just mess with you."

"Like how you're messing with me?" balik ko sa kanya. Kasi sa lahat ng tao, siya iyong pinaka-gumugulo sa akin.

"I'm not messing with you," kalmado na sagot niya.

"You're messing with me, Parker! Pwede ba na bumalik ka na lang ulit sa hindi mo pagpansin sa akin? Pwede ba na patahimikin mo na lang ako dahil ayoko na ulit na madamay sa gulo mo sa buhay!" Akma akong aalis nang maramdaman ko na sinusundan niya ako. "And stop following me!"

"Gen."

"And stop saying my name!"

"Gen..."

"Bumalik ka na lang sa kwarto mo at magmukmok ka kay Imogen. Doon ka naman masaya, 'di ba?"

He clenched his jaw. "Do you like him?" he said instead.

I arched my brow. "So, what if I do?" I shot back. Naghintay ako ng sagot niya. Naghintay ako kasi gusto kong marinig kung ano ba ang iniisip niya... but why did I expect a different ending in a story that I had read over and over again? "Masama ba na magkagusto ako sa kanya? Hindi naman kita pinipigilan na magkagusto sa iba, 'di ba?"