Just This Once (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 37

#JustThisOnce

Kabanata 37 

I didn't know if it's because of the coffee or I was just trembling in fear. The doctor told me to wait while they're processing the results. At bawat segundo na lumilipas, mas lalong sumasakit ang ulo ko sa pag-iisip.

Why did even Parker train me to constantly think about things? Sobrang napaparanoid na tuloy ako!

'At least tell me where you are,' he texted.

'I'm fine, I promise,' I replied. Hindi ko matiis na hindi magreply sa kanya kahit na halos mamatay na ako sa sobrang kaba.

'Where? I promise I won't come,' he replied back.

'Clinic.'

'Oh. You really don't want me there?' he asked. Even in his texts, I could hear his tone. I knew he really wanted to be here with me. Gusto ko rin naman na nandito siya kasi alam ko na ano man ang mangyari sa akin, hindi niya naman ako iiwanan. But my mind's a mess. I didn't want him to misunderstand me dahil magulo talaga ang isip ko sa ngayon.

'I do. But I need to do this alone, Parker. I hope you understand.'

Hindi ko na nahintay pa ang reply niya dahil agad na akong tinawag sa loob. If my heart was pounding dangerously fast before, ngayon ay para na akong aatakihin sa puso.

"Take a seat," the doctor said. May hawak siyang papel. And at that moment, I felt like my whole life was balancing on that piece of paper.

"Do you have questions?" the doctor asked.

"Am I pregnant?" agad kong tanong.

"No."

My heart's still beating fast. I was not pregnant. But why did I still have this nagging feeling inside me? Like something was wrong?

"N-no?" tanong ko.

"No, you're not pregnant. But I have some things I needed to discuss with you," she said and then started to get serious."

* * *

"Hey," Parker said when he saw me walking towards him.

I smiled. "Hi. Kanina ka pa?"

He quickly nodded. Agad niya akong hinawakan nang makarating ako sa harap niya. "You okay?" he asked. I nodded. "Sure?"

"Yeah. Kumain ka na ba? Gutom na ko."

Mabilis akong dinala ni Parker sa isang restaurant. He asked me what I wanted to eat, but my mind was too preoccupied to even think about eating. Mukhang napansin naman ni Parker iyon kaya naman siya na lang ang pumili ng kakainin ko.

When our food arrived, he just watched me eat.

"Don't you like the food?" he asked when he noticed me just playing around with the food.

"No, okay naman siya," I replied. He just nodded. Halata naman sa kanya na gusto niya akong tanungin tungkol sa pinuntahan ko kanina pero pinipigil niya ang sarili niya.

I took my time with the food. Kahit na wala akong gana, pinilit ko pa rin na kainin. The doctor told me that I needed to take extra care with myself. Kung dati, kaya kong tumagal na hindi kumakain, ngayon ay dapat ko ng ipaalala palagi sa sarili ko na bawal akong magutom. And that I should aim to keep myself healthy.

And how would I even do that? Even sleeping is a luxury in law school.

Nang matapos kami sa pagkain, inaya ako ni Parker na maglakad-lakad.