Just This Once (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 38

#JustThisOnce

Kabanata 38 

I stared at Tristan's body. God. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. I stayed there, looking at Tristan. Gusto kong tumawag ng ambulansya, pero natatakot ako na baka tanungin nila ako kung ano ang nangyari.

"Gen..." Tristan groaned.

I felt paralyzed. I couldn't move.

"Gen," Parker called. "Let's go."

Napatingin ako kay Tristan bago bumaling ang tingin ko kay Parker. "He's hurt."

"He's a doctor. He can treat himself," he dismissively said.

"Parker naman..."

I had known Parker for a year. I'd seen him ignore me. I'd seen him pretend that I didn't exist... but the way he's looking at me right now made me feel like I'd be better off dead.

"Can you please choose me for once?" he asked, his voice laced with pain. Napaawang ang labi ko. Hindi agad ako nakapagsalita o nakagalaw.

Parker looked at me and smiled. "Nevermind. Kasi kahit gaano mo naman ako gaguhin, sa 'yo pa rin ako babalik."

Nagsimula siyang maglakad. Gusto kong sumunod. Gusto ko siyang kausapin... pero hindi ko rin kaya na iwanan si Tristan na ganito iyong sitwasyon niya.

I crouched down and helped him. He looked like a mess. Parker made sure na hindi makakapasok ng ilang linggo si Tristan.

"I'm sorry," I told him. Kinuha ko iyong cellphone ko para tumawag ng ambulansya, pero pinigilan ako ni Tristan. He winced when he tried to move.

"Gen..." he called.

"I'm sorry, Tristan... Hindi ko alam na—"

"I'm sorry," sabi niya.

"Please don't call the police," I begged. Parker did this for me. Ayoko na mapahamak siya dahil sa akin. I already messed him up so bad, ayoko na dumagdag pa.

Tristan tried to sit down and I helped him. Ni hindi ako maka-tingin nang diretso sa mukha niya dahil sa pinsala na dinala ni Parker. Tristan's eyes were swollen. His face was covered with bruises. Every move was making him groan with pain.

Tinulungan ko siyang makapasok sa loob. I was careful not to hurt him any further. Nang naipasok ko na siya sa loob, inihiga ko siya sa kama niya. I looked around, trying to find a basin... at saka ko lang napansin kung gaano kagulo iyong paligid niya.

Napatingin ako kay Tristan.

"Everything's a mess without you, Gen," he said, sadly smiling.

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. Matagal na kaming wala. Matagal na dapat niyang tanggap na kahit ano'ng sabihin niya, walang saysay.

"May kailangan ka bang inumin na gamot?" I asked instead. I didn't come here to dwell about the past. Ayokong bigyan ng dagdag na problema iyong sarili ko. I wasn't even done with own issues.

"Gen," he said. "Why are you with that kind of guy?"

"Tristan, just tell me kung ano iyong kailangan mo."

"Ikaw. Ikaw 'yung kailangan ko. Sabi mo dati tayong dalawa lang, 'di ba?" He tried to hold my arm, but I quickly dodged.

"Sinabi mo rin na ako lang, pero alam naman natin na hindi, 'di ba?"

Tumayo ako at saka naghanap ng pwedeng ipamunas sa mukha niya. I just couldn't look at him anymore when he's covered in blood. Ayoko rin na may masamang mangyari kay Tristan dahil may pinagsamahan pa rin kami kahit papaano. I made a promise to his parents na aalagaan ko siya.