An arranged marriage S.M. 2

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three

I throw my bag down by the door with a sigh as Nicki follows behind me with Jayce. "Hey babe," my mom sighs giving me a hug. Nicki always feels like my depression is her fault no matter how many times I tell her it's not. It's basically just a gene, my mom was like this and now I guess it's me. "How was school?" She lets me go. Nicki walks up the stairs to put Jayce down and give us space.

"It was good I guess," I shrug slowly looking around the room. "Mama?" I give her a pout on the verge of tears. She pouts back giving me a tight hug.

"Don't cry," she hums, "Don't cry," I let tears fall against her shoulder even though I've been instructed otherwise

"Why does everything hate me?" I sob against her shoulder harder.

"Nothing hates you baby," she soothes. "You're perfect and you'll be fine," She reassures kissing my cheek.

"I'm not perfect," I shake my head. "I'm completely imperfect, I was an accident." I huff and she hushed me again.

"You were the best mistake of my life," she speaks truthfully. My mom(especially when I'm like this) refuses to lie to me. She will tell me just about anything I ask and it's always an honest answer. "I might not've planned you but I wouldn't trade you now that I've got you," she hugs me tightly.

"I don't like my life mom," I whisper on her shoulder.

"Easton I fell down that path once but you've gotta believe me, it's not worth it," she emphasizes. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you don't end up like me because it was awful and it meant endless doctor's appointments." She shakes her head. "You don't want my life Easton,"

"I don't want my life either," she sits next to me on the couch holding me tightly.

"You do Easton, you're capable of great things," she kisses my cheek. "You've got to believe me Easton, I was once like you," she pleads.

"I don't doubt you mama," I hug her back. "But I can't stand this anymore," I shake my head.

"Easton," the girls yell. I love my sisters, I love all of my siblings I really really do but not even they could put a smile on my face right now.

"Hi," I wave as they run over but stop as they see my dad look.

"What happened?" They crawl onto my lap. "Don't be sad," Angel reassures hugging me as best she can. "Everything gets better," Elliot giggles. They both kiss my cheeks and run off with evil smirks but I don't have the energy to chase them.

"Easton," mom sighs bringing my head to her shoulder. "It's ok to cry," she whispers and I shake my head.

"I've cried enough, I'm not weak," I shake my head sternly.

"Crying doesn't make you weak," she kisses my head. "It makes you stronger," she explains.

-

"Would you miss me?" I speak to the little boy who lay awake in my arms.

"I'd miss you," Nicki stands behind me resting her head on my shoulder. "I already miss you," she sighs. I lay Jayce in his crib.

"Nicki," I sigh. "I'm no different," I turn back to her and she rolls her eyes.

"You don't smile anymore," She pouts.

"I don't have a reason to," I shrug a little.

"What about me?" She furrows her eyebrows looking a little hurt by my words. "What about Jayce?" She gapes in shock.

"It's not like that," I sigh.

"Then why'd you say it like that?" She walks towards me wrapping her arms around my waist. "I just want you to smile at me again," she whispers. "Will you smile at me? Please?" She begs.

"I just can't," I shake my head.

"I might loose my smile too,"