Fatality

Chapter 19

Adria

It is becoming so hard for me to hold back emotions. How I wish to be cold. It is just a party. But, I was so excited to dance under twinkling lights and feel magnificent for once. The whole room made me feel elegant. I shouldn't have even put effort into making an appearance. I should be in my dorm reading a worn book. Yet, I am racing down the halls in heels.

"Wait!" I hear Finn call. "Adria, wait!"

I think about quickening my pace but I figure I will just stop altogether. Finn has long legs and he will catch up anyways.

I don't say anything.

"Why would he do that?" Finn guides to me a window perch. I decline but Finn helps himself. He shrugs off his tuxedo jacket. "I always knew there was something off about that professor. It was obvious, really."

"There's nothing wrong with him." I say slowly. "He's reacting as anyone else would."

"For what? It's not like you've done anything!"

This is it, I think. I have to tell him now. I've told him everything since first year haven't I? This shouldn't be so different, right? I've mulled this over for the past few days. I thought up the most eloquent speech to were he would understand. As soon as I started speaking, nothing went as I had so carefully planned before.

It came out jumbled, it came out wrong. Instead of a speech in which I would change him I merely blurted it all out.

"Voldemort is my father." When it came I wince, I feel my face contort. I can't bare to ever glance over at Finn so I keep my head down. When I can't take it anymore I wrap my arms around him and sob. My whole body heaves and he slowly drapes his long arms around me.

"You don't know that." Finn says softly into my hair. "That's rubbish."

"Finn, I wouldn't just believe anything. Headmaster Dumbledore told me himself." I do not want to continue. Couldn't he just believe me? I am not about to relive it just so he will understand.

His arms are limp now and I feel uncomfortable against him. "Finn?" I ask uncertainly.

He notices me looking up at him. "What?"

"What's wrong?" I whisper. My worst fear flashes across his face. Along with my usual nightmares I had seen it haunting my dreams alongside screams.

Disappointment. Finn has his eyes downcast.

"Finn." I repeat.

I push myself back into his arms and try to work my way back into his embrace. It will be better if he let me. I must have imagined him looking that way, I had too have imagined that. Finn couldn't be upset with me, could he?

Finn backs up and sucks in a large breath of air.

I want to squeak for him to hold me, just once. I hold my tongue.

"It's just a lot. I mean, you're not even sure! The headmaster is getting old, he's losing it I'm sure."

I can't help but feel angry. "Memories can't be made up Finn. I went inside a pensieve. I saw my own mum."

"Did you actually see he-who-must-not-be-named touching your mother? " Finn retorts.

"No! I just-"

"Then how do you know? Maybe that woman you saw is some random lady."

"Finn!" I shout. The empty hall seems to grow even more quiet. "It makes sense! Remember when I blasted Hannah Abbott during dueling club and cried for hours? That power isn't mine! It's passed down."

Finn makes a humored noise.

"I saw it!" I scream. I want to thrash at him. It was my own mum. Tears burn my cheeks like licking flame.

"Fine." Finn says. "And why wouldn't you tell me? You've told me everything."

"Because!"

Finn stands taller, "You weren't too afraid to tell me now. Why not before the party? Why not yesterday or the day before?"

"Because you would act like this!" My throat starts to burn even more. "You're irrational! I can't just go around screaming it to everyone!"

"I'm not just anyone. I'm your boyfriend."

Since I am rightfully upset I just continue. I am not holding back, not today. "That's a shame then isn't it? I miss having you as a friend, Finn. When something happened it was easy. We could be simple. I didn't have to worry about your judgement this much. I miss that." At the end I start to get quieter.

Finn is finally quiet. A few agonizing beats pass.

"What?" His voice cracks.

"I miss you, Finn. I miss my best friend." Again I start to cry. I'm so weak, so very weak.

"I'm just... It's a lot to take in." He finally says.

"It's still me." I look at smeared makeup on the back of my hand.

"Is it?" He leans against a wall. "You don't love me. You probably never have. And you're... You're..."

"Say it." I sniff. "A death eater? You know it's not that way!"

"It's just too much." He stands up straight again. "Goodbye, Adria."

"Finn!" I pick up my dress to trot after him but his long legs carry him off.

"Finn." I repeat quietly, and even to me it sounds more like a question. I lean myself against the wall and pull my hands to my face.

"Thanks a lot." A voice says beside me. I don't remove m hands from my face. "Your blubbering and fighting got me caught."

I still refuse to remove my hands from my face.

"What an ass, and that's coming from me. No one understands your pain until they feel it themselves." The voice says simply.

I look up to find grey eyes watching me intently. "You overheard?" I knew I should have been more careful. I never think when I'm angry.

Draco shrugged. "Hard not to. The whole party was silent and that bloody caretaker grabbed me. And Snape-".

"What is Snape doing up here?"

"Just... Patrolling." Draco explains. Snape is kind of a snoop. But my mind is too fuzzy to think about it.

"You won't tell anyone will you? I'm sure I have a while before it gets out. I want to keep the silence." I beg. Here I am begging Draco Malfoy to be quiet. I mentally want to smack myself. It is worth a shot, I want this kept alone.

"Some things are better left unsaid." I look up. What? I can't believe he would make that promise. I doubt him, but there's nothing more I could do. I guess I am starting to accept defeat as an old friend.

"Thank you." I murmur. "But why? Why would you be so... Nice to me?"

There is a pause and his face looks set, like he was debating. He finally opens his mouth to speak.

"You're not the only person who has been thrown into something you didn't ask for. It's the worst pain of any sort." Draco looks like he wants to say more but stopped. "You're the last person I would expect it to happen to." He looks me over.

"Why, you're a model student, aren't you?" His usual demeanor was back. But, for a while I had seen it. I saw that little piece I have seen of Draco Malfoy this year. The boy. Draco's brave front had cracks, just like all of us. I stand up and met his gaze.

"You would think." I murmur. "I guess there's a lot more to me that some people just don't understand." My mind jogs back to Finn. How could he not listen to me? I close my eyes. Yes, some part of me thought he would be afraid but I didn't expect him to walk away altogether.

"I know." That's all he said.

"No you don't." I whisper.

Draco cocks an eyebrow. "You would be surprised." I tilt my head to look over at him but I was surprised by how close he was.

"What are-"

And then he kissed me.