Unfaithful Betrayal || Killua Zoldyck x Fem!Reader

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"This is my fault."

Hearing her words made his breath hitch lightly. It downright disgusted him to hear her say that. He turned to look at her in that moment, only not to be met with the pair of eyes he grown to adore. 

Something shot at his heart then, making him flinch. She couldn't see it, as she was too busy fumbling with her clothing. A habit she had done when acting shy or nervous. It made his throat dry, and he looked away from her. She was tempting him. Her lips were trembling, desperately calling him to fill them with warmth of his own. That habit of hers made his fingers twitch, and his mind roll. It made him feel something that he was struggling to control, and he had to put up with it during the entire two or so years he known her. His mouth moved before he could stop it, turning his head to face back where his hospitalized friend rested. 

"Stop that."

He couldn't help the tone he used with his voice. It was a habit he grown into, as he was never one to express his emotions. So, he slipped back into his cool, cold force of nature. Just like his assassin training made him out to be.

"How could it be your fault if you weren't even there?"

He almost lost what he was conversing with her about. Of course, his first words were about that damned habit she did around him, tempting him with her presence, leaving him with the urge to pin her and express this new emotion he had grown for her.

Alas, he couldn't do that. He already broke so many friend codes and alarms with holding this passion for her alone, he didn't want to pass the line anymore.

She was Gon's girl.

Killua Zoldyck, get that through your fucking skull.

The sigh she gave caught him, halting any words he had in his throat. Her words came tumbling out, and he didn't listen at all. His eyes focused on the way her mouth moved, how her body went rigid, and how she all but flinched at the lightest of his movements. The boy narrowed his eyes at that. Forcibly, he brought himself out the ecstasy out of hearing her voice to respond.

"How do you know this?"

Apparently, he was listening subconsciously. Another thing he had to thank his family for.

"...You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Try me, (Name). I'll believe anything you tell me.

"..But I swear on my life, that I tried to stop him."

Him. Which brought the boy back to the present. Gon Freecss, his best friend, was wasting away as the seconds ticked by. Had the girl really had him wrapped around her finger that he forgot about his best friend?

She took his silence as a means to continue, telling him about her discoveries. Her abilities. Killua listened, giving her an emotionless look. He wouldn't allow her to see him show anything. His mind was racking from everything, from the hurtful experience with Gon, from this new strange emotion, and now her abilities? 

You should say something.

He could feel her thoughts, but he couldn't bring himself to act upon it. For once in his life, Killua didn't know how to react. He could be angry, but why? He couldn't bring himself to be angry with her. Sadness? He was already filled with that to the brim, but it didn't settle with him just yet. He knew what he felt at that moment, and although his eyes didn't show it, he felt that similar pang on his heart. Betrayal.

But it wasn't from Gon's rash actions. Nor was it from (Name) not telling them ahead of time.

Turning to face the window once more, the boy stayed in that position. He should've answered her. Told her it was alright and that he forgiven her. But he didn't, and for that he knew how he made her felt. He allowed her to think he was angry. It was..easier that way. He was barely able to pick up the soft way she said his name, and it took all his focus to ignore how it made him feel.