I Miss You

T H R E E

     Cancer, Karsyn has had it before, when he was about four. It was low grade and he was OK by his 5th birthday. I wish I could say something releaving like "he had it before, he can beat it again." Or "he is a fighter"  But I'm not gonna lie to myself. Karsyn was at the gym and he fell to the ground claiming he couldn't breath. Next thing he knew he was in the hospital with oxygen forced down his throat. 

     "It's going to be ok" Oliver mumbled as he put his hand on my shoulder.

     "He is all we have left of her, she is what we had left of him. They were blood, they were siblings.." I started started to cry again

     "So are we, I know we arnt blood, but we are close enough." Oliver said smiling.

     "No, they both have the same eyes, the same nose, they have the same dimples, they look so much alike." I shifted my position away from my brother. We were currently waiting in the uncomfortable dark blue plastic chairs of the hospitals ICU waiting room. The intercom went off in the background with the same nazily voice. Nurses in scrubs rushed past us with carts of various items. The walls and floors were white. The same dark blue chairs lined the 3 walls, every two chairs there was a lightly stained table covered in horrible magazines and plastic plants.

     "Cam" Oliver said, interrupting me from my usual analyzing.

     "Yeah" I said counting the off white floor tiles.

     "I'm sorry, I'm your older brother or at least I always claimed to be." Oliver mumbled, I looked up at him. Oliver of course didn't look like me since we were both adopted. He truly felt guilty, his hazel eyes were glossy as he studied the reception desk. His wavy blond hair fell in his face, he didn't try to push it out of his face like normal, he felt ashamed. He bit his lip as he tried to keep it from quivering.

     "This isn't your fault, none of us said shit. We all covered for his sorry ass because we didn't have the guts to say shit" I choked out.

     "Ca..."

     "He is doing OK at the moment" my Grandmother said as she walked down the hallway wiping her eyes.

     "Can we see him?" Oliver said standing up.

    Grandma took a deep Breathe and looked at my grandfather sitting across from us. "Ok" My grandmother said telling us were to go.

     We walked in the brightly lit room. In the corner was a leather chair, the same color as the ones in the waiting room. My body began to tremble as I spotted Karsyn. His tan skin was unusually pale. A tube was shoved down his throat, along with sevrial other electronics hooked to him. At the moment I was begging to see his dimples, the same ones Karmin loved to show off. His light blue eyes were squinted as he looked at us.  At this moment I relied what was happening. The dimples, there tan skin, the blue eyes, there lips, there nose, all these features are dying with them. Tears formed in my eyes, the little piece I had of them is dying. I walked over to my oldest brother and hugged him. My tears dripped on his white blanket, I felt his heart beat, I felt his hands twitch. " I can't lose you to, kar" I squeaked.

    "We haven't lost him yet, Cam we need to go" Oliver panicked. I slowly pulled my self off of Karsyn. I didn't dare look back as I walked out of the door of Karsyn's hospital room.

    Within ten minutes of getting home I grabbed my keys. I drove to the entrance of the woods and parked. I pulled my flash light out of my bag and fallowed the old beaten track into the woods. About 20 minutes into my walk I herd running. This didn't bug me, these woods stretched for miles, Animals were often seen. The running became heavier, I felt it get louder as it walked. I stopped and shinned my light around me. The running kept going, it was louder and louder. I started to run towards the cliff, that is until I hit something hard.

     "Wow" I herd a deep male voice say.

    I shined my light up to see a teenage boy. He had his arms around me in order to keep me from falling. I backed away quickly, in his hand was maybe cigarette, but I couldn't be sure. That is until I got a good smell of my surrounding. He was smoking weed, in the middle of the woods, my woods.

    "Your not a nark are you" he smirked bringing the blunt to his lips and inhaling.

     I didn't do a thing but walk towards the cliff. The panic in my heart only quickened at the presence of him. 

    "Wow, I don't even get an name?" I herd him say from behind me.  I don't know your game but I don't care enough to find out. The thought filled my head as I continued to my safe space.

    "I'm Jason" he said as he caught up to me with a light jog.

    "Cam" I walked a little faster until we reached the cliff. I sat down at the edge like normal and breathed in. The cool air soothed my burning lungs and my heart beat finally started to slow down to an average pace.

    "Not planing to jump are Ya" He chuckled before sitting next to me, closer then I was comfortable with may I add.

I looked at Jason for the first time since our horrifying first encounter. He had jet black hair styled in a quiff, he wore a leather jacket over his light gray Hoodie along with lightly ripped up dark blue jeans.

  "I'm not blessed with that much courage"I laughed. He leaned in and bumped my shoulder before going back to his previous position. Every bone in my body told me to leave, there was something about Jason that was interesting yet wrong. He gave me a feeling of guilt that I new from experience to run from. 

     "As much as I loved hanging out with a strange stoner, I better go." I told him as I got up from the edge of the cliff. I turned towards the trail and began the walk.

    "Wait" Jason jumped up "There is a reason I am here!" He shouted as he grabbed my arm and turned me around. There was a since of panic yet calmness in his voice that made me listen to him.

    "Explain" I demanded as I pulled my arm away from him and crossed it over my chest.

    "I was looking for the car, Karsyn was one of my best friend a year or two ago." Jason looked at the ground. " Is he OK?" He look at the ground and took a deep breath his voice was quite and fell into a mumble.

    I swallow hard "he has lung cancer and is currently dying in the ICU" I sounded heartless, evil, like I was talking about an old horror story not my vary own brother. Jason sat there stunned, his mouth agape. His eyes held a certain horror that you only see at funeral. Jason did not mumble a sound as I walked down the trail towards my car.