I Miss You

F I V E

 I looked up at his face with a mixture of hate and shock.

"Please do not give me that look, I am nothing like that monster." He pleaded " I am nothing like him, I wasn't raised by him"

"Why are you here? Why would you talk to me that night? You knew and decided to let me suffer from your lie" I screeched as I gently pushed him. My eyes began to water as the panic attack slowly began to form.

"I never thought my father was capable of something like this. I knew he drank but i never knew he was dumb enough to get behind the wheel  especially with children in the car." 

"He did it often, he was a horrible man. I don't believe your lying ass for a second. Your father was a monster he killed my sister and threw her body off of a cliff. He messed up my life in countless ways. I want nothing to do with him or his monster in training" I cryed as I backed against the door.

"Monster in training? I am so sorry, I did not know. Please do not compare me to him, I  know who he was, I was just hoping you never saw his ugly side"

"What do you want from me" I yelled

"I dont know, I just.." 

"Get out" I screeched as I pushed him with force. 

   I bolted into my bed room, looking the balcony door with my shaky hands.I walked out of my door and started down the hall. "why didn't you tell me Jason was related to him?"I said peaking my head into Oliver's  room. My tone sounded like I was convicting my brother of a crime that I did not know he for sure had done.

     "I told you to stay away from him for a reason" Oliver said in a monotone voice, he didn't even look up from his laptop.

    "You could have told me." I walked into his room and sat on the black leather recliner facing his bed. 

    "You could have listened to me" He looked up for a split second before typing once again.

    "He said he was raised by his mom" I pointed out

    "Yeah, after the school got suspicious of the bruises on him in fourth grade" Oliver still didn't look up. "Isn't is convenient that he became are baby sitter about two years later?"

"what if he would testify?" I asked

"I doubt he would do that." Oliver said

"But I doubt he would wont to protect him or any thing, I mean he was abused to." I defended

"This is not his trial, it has nothing to do with him" Oliver said as his voice grew more stern. 

"This is his dad?"I pushed

"He wont do it Celeste, now let it go!" Oliver snaps

" Have you ever met him?" changing the subject just enough to prevent my brother from blowing up. 

"Yes, he was in both mine and Karsyn's grade" Why wouldn't he look at me? He cleared his throat before continuing  "No, I don't think he knew what was going on with us" Oliver said predicting my next question. 

"Then why do you hate him so much?" Judging by the vein popping out of Oliver's neck , I knew this was not his favorite topic.

 "Because Celeste, More often then not, the apple does not fall far from the tree."

 "You can't just judge some one based off there blood pattern" I don't know why I was fighting this so hard. 

 "Celeste, Just stay the fuck away from him, or I will make fucking sure that you do" Oliver shut his laptop with force before storming out of his room.

     I walked back into my own room as my head filled with questions. My phone showed 4 missed texts, I ignored them. I have no clue if my brother is right or not, but until I am I have no choice but to listen.  

     I woke up the next day at 2:01 pm, much later then I am used to. I stayed up all last night trying to find something on him. I looked on his social media, I googled his name, I looked into any records I had access to. Jason was clean, he was a straight A student. He has no history of violence, crime, or substance abuse. There was no trace of evil in the 18 year old. I walked down the spiral staircase to the kitchen. As soon as my bare feet hit the white tile floor I noticed a note on the stainless steal fridge. 

  We all decided to see your brother this morning, after we have to run some errands so we wont be home till around 5:00 pm at the earliest. I would have woke you up to go, but I know you haven't slept well lately. Send your brother a text when you wake up. 

   P.S. I made you an appointment to see a physiologist, you do not have to go but it would mean the world to me if you did.  

     3 pm Dr. Karin's office   

     1892 south street 

           Love, Grandma

      I sat the note down on the granite counter top next to the fridge. "I can not believe I am doing this" I mumbled to my self as I climbed back up the stairs to get ready for my appointment. 

     I  took a shower since I Shamefully hadn't had one in a bit.  I sat down at my vanity in just my bra and underwear since my bed room was currently hot as hell. I winged my eye liner, applied mascara, eye shadow, concealer, foundation, you know, all that girly shit. I threw on an average black muscle T, Along with light, high wasted jean shorts and black vans. I tied my straight long black hair into a high pony tail before making my way down the stairs. I grabbed my keys and backpack before allowing the June heat to hit my face. I jumped in my car, with my grandmas note in my hand. 

     I walked into the counseling clinic 10 minutes late, due to getting lost. I pulled my sunglasses on top of my head before giving the slightly overweight brunette behind the reception counter my name. I sat down on a black plastic chair, waiting what seemed like hours before I herd a deep voice call my name. The tall man had white hair and one fake ass smile, he weighed me, checked my height and blood pressure before sending me back into the waiting room. 

     Ten minutes later I found my self in front of a frail older woman. She had short red hair with bangs covering her forehead. She had reading classes on and stared at her laptop in front of her. I looked around the dull room is felt like a prison with gray walls and carpet. 

     "Do you see a therapist?" She studied me from behind her cheap IKEA desk .

     "No" I looked away from her and picked at my nails.

     "Do you have a past of Anxiety or Depression" she continued to look at me,I shook my head no.  " so this all started after the crash?" I shook my head no again. 

     She continued to ask pointless questions before finally asking me who my pharmacist was and telling me when to take the medication along with giving me another appointment and recommending a therapist.

     "That was a waste of time" I mumbled as I drove to the hospital.