I Started a Joke

Chapter 30

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend." I sang as the glass display shattered. I twirled my baton and used it to wipe away the glass shards from the jewelry. The gorgeous necklace then found its way onto my dainty neck.

"Yes they are." Mama agreed with me. She was putting on as much jewelry as she could fit on her. She looked a tad silly when the gold and silver jewels clashed with her black and red harlequin jumpsuit. Mama didn't let that deter her from stealing what she wanted though.

Papa snickered at our kleptomania. He casually sat on the counter, content to watch his two girls vandalize and steal while he swung a pocket watch around his finger.

"All done!" I announced before swinging a bag full of shiny items over my shoulder. My side of the store had been cleaned out of valuables.

"What a good little thief you are my dear." Papa took the bag from me. "Hurry it up Harls!" He shouted.

"Comin Puddin!" Mama skipped after us with two bags.

Outside the store our getaway van waited for us. Papa threw the bags one by one to the henchmen sitting in the back. The street was strangely empty despite the blazing alarm going off from the jewelry store. The citizens must have used their brains and chose to stay away from the crime scene.

"You sure B-man's gonna show up?" I tugged on Papa's blazer when he finished his heavy lifting. Batman hadn't shown up yet even though we took our time with the rubbery. Not to mention the police were nowhere to be seen. Talk about a useless crime prevention agency.

HaHaHaHaHa

If I ever feel bad about being useless I'll just remember how useless the Gotham Police Department is in times of crisis. That'll cheer me right up.

"Sure he will Princess." Papa indulgently flicked my nose. I yelped and scrunched my nose. He laughed and snapped his finger. A goon handed him a gold machine gun. "We just gotta get Bat's attention and he'll come running."

"How ya gonna do that?" My voice came out nasally since I was still holding my nose. A dark smile was Papa's answer.

"Harley, babe, let's take a walk." He yanked Mama into his side. She giggled and waved around her own pink machine gun. The two of them skipped down the street, firing off the machine guns in random directions, hitting cars and the people unfortunate enough to be on the streets.

HaHaHaHaHa

They're so crazy! This honeymoon phase of theirs is disturbingly endearing. They haven't seriously argued since the wedding and they've been overly affectionate with each other. I wonder how long this domesticity will last before the psychotic behavior comes back?

"Princess Lucia?"

I tilted my head at the meatbag dressing me.

"Here's the fireworks." The goon handed me a bag full of fireworks that I gleefully snatched up.

"Thanks. Now scatter." I waved bye to the henchmen. They closed the back door and the car pulled off to take our loot back to the hideout.

The fireworks was my idea to conclude the night since tonight is New Year's Eve. Midnight was right around the corner so now was the perfect time to set off the fireworks.

"Puddin how much longer till twelve?" Mama tore into the bag, seizing the one made especially for her. Papa popped open the pocket watch he pilfered and started counting down to midnight.

Mama and I madly giggled as we set up the pyrotechnics. We lit the matches as Papa counted down from five. He walked behind me and took a match for himself. When he finished counting all three of us set a firework with a cry of "Happy New Years". The sky lit up with bright colors.