Why Me? - Garroth x Reader

Chapter 7~ bloody

Dedicated to Chester Bennington, may you R.I.P
"You can't be afraid of people willing to hurt you, cause if you fear life, then you will never live."
-Linkin Park

Y/N: your name
L/N: last name
B/N: brothers name
F/B: fav band
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~time skip to weekend~

~Y/N's P.O.V~

I was still sad about my dad. We had finally moved everything from my other house to my brother's. I was in my room just listening to F/B.

I had locked the door so no one can enter.

I was just laying in my bed looking at the picture frame of me and my parents and B/N. I felt tears coming out of my eyes. I miss them so much.

I looked over at the clock and it said 3:59 A.M.

I haven't slept in days since the death, i don't remember feeling like this when mom died. Maybe it's the fact i was only 5 at the time but now that I'm fully aware of my emotions, i just can't help but to cry.

Garroth has been trying to text me and call me. Even come over my house but he keeps saying that I'm never home.

I can't bring myself to tell Garroth, i can't. He couldn't possibly know how it feels to lose the only people who raised you. He had it easy, but Laurence became my best friend cause our dad's were friends since highschool.

Sure Laurence is adopted but he lost his mother that accepted him in the family. I always thought of Laurence as my brother.

Is what Garroth said was true? Did he actually love me?

I can't be thinking about that right now. But He's always been there for me, i can't push him away. But i don't want to tell him, i don't want him to worry.

After all that thinking I put the picture back on my dresser i had on the left side of my room.

I got my phone and started watching videos of me, Ein and dad at the park playing soccer.

~flashback~

We were at the park and we started playing soccer. I told dad to record me playing soccer with Ein. I ran to my dad and gave him my phone.

I got the soccer ball and put it in the middle of me and Ein. "Alright Ein, who gets the ball first?" I put my hand on my hip and wait for his answer.

He stood thinking until he perked his head up. "Rock paper scissors."

I nodded and formed my hand into a fist. "Paper scissors ROCK!" we both yelled and we both got rock. We did it again and we both got scissors. We did it again and we got scissors again.

We did it once again but i got paper and he got rock. I jumped in happiness and took my stance.

I kicked the ball and right away, i made a goal. I pouted and put my hand on my hip and glared at Ein.

He started laughing nervously while scratching the back of his neck. I ran at him and started chasing.

I reached him and jumped on him and took him to the ground with me on top of him. I started ruffling Ein's hair and got off him. Dad finished recording and ran over to us. He gave me my phone. I looked at Ein with a smirk and he nodded.

We looked back at dad and we both tackled him to the ground. We were all laughing.

~flashback over~

As the video ended of the match, i started sobbing. I couldn't stop crying, even if i wanted to. I heard a knock on my door.

I quickly wiped away my eyes, "Who is it?" I ask still on my bed.

"Its Ein, i just wanted to ask two questions, first one being; why do you have your door locked? And second one being; want to go to the park? I'm bored."

I stayed still on my bed. I looked over to the door that was in front of my bed. "No thanks, i don't really feel like going anywhere."

~Ein's P.O.V~

"No thanks, i don't really feel like going anywhere."

What is going on with her? She's been here since Friday and hasn't left the room, nor eat or anything. She has her own restroom but still. "Y/N, if you're hungry I made some Mac and cheese, i don't know if you want some but I'll be in the kitchen, by the way, B/N said he would be back soon. He has to get the funeral ready..."

I didn't hear any movement in the room. I mentally sighed and said, "please Y/N, I've never seen you like this, please just come out and play ball with me."

I heard once again no movement. I sighed out loud and walked down the stairs.

I sat on the kitchen table just eating my Mac and cheese staring at nothing. What could she be even doing in there? Does Garroth know anything? Does Laurence know anything?

My thoughts got interrupted when i heard a door close. I walked to the living room and saw B/N holding papers in his hand and talking on the phone.

B/N hanged up on the person and looked at me. "How is she doing? Has she left the room yet?"

I shaked my head sideways. "Its no good, she wont even respond to anything that i say, i even asked her if she wanted to go to the park because i saw the guy that likes her walk over there with his brothers and his mom. But she said no, and the park is her favorite place to go when she's feeling down."

B/N stood thinking before he gasped and snapped his fingers. I looked at him confusingly as he ran to his room looking through his dresser. "Aha!" I heard him chant and he walked over to me holding a key in his hand.

I looked at him with wide eyes. "Is that what i think it is?" I ask.

B/N nodded and walked over to Y/N's room.

He opened the door and she was nowhere to be seen.

I ran to her bathroom and i couldn't believe what I saw....

~Y/N's P.O.V~

I can't take this pain anymore. I can't! I want to end the suffering, i just want to die! I want to be with mom and dad.

I got my laptop and Googled ways to get rid of that pain. One of the options was self harm. (Just a disclaimer: i do not want to offend anybody if any of you do this, i myself have tried doing it once, also if you're squeamish or uncomfortable about this stuff, i suggest you just skip this chapter)

I got my pocket knife and went to the restroom. The door to my room is locked so no one can interrupt me.

I started cutting lines across my arm. Blood was dripping onto the sink. It hurt but it felt good. Like if all my worries were leaving.

A few minutes later i saw Ein come to the bathroom and just stood there with his eyes wide.

I quickly hid my arm behind my back. "B/N! Come quick!" Ein yelled and he still kept his eye on me.

B/N came running and saw me in the restroom. He gave Ein a confused look before he noticed the blood on the sink.

I saw his expression go from worry to angry. He got pulled me from my free arm and dragged me into my own room. He grabbed my other arm and saw the cuts i had done. "Y/N what were you thinking?! Do you know you can damage yourself by doing this?!"

He kept scolding me until he sighed and told Ein to get the first aid kit.

A few minutes later, Ein came in, opened the kit and got a spray thing. He gently grabbed my arm and sprayed the liquid on me. It hurt but i didn't flinch or make any sound. He finished cleaning the blood and put a bandage around my whole arm.

~Sunday Night~

It's been a day since them catching me thing happened. B/N broke down my door so i wouldn't do something like that again. He checks on me every hour, brings me food, water.

I still haven't fallen asleep and tomorrow I have to go to school. I have to try hard to hide these bandages. Once they heal, I'll do it again but i won't do it at my house. I'll do it in school, they won't know a thing. I don't need to tell Laurence, Ein, Katelyn, Aphmau, Nicole....especially Garroth. I can't bare to tell him.

I'm sorry Garroth.