The Darkest Relations

Fifteen

15

It's over. The words I've been yearning to say, the two simple words that I've been waiting months to say are finally said. The two wards that were keeping us together had fell from my lips, lips that have been mute compared to what should've been said months ago. It's over. Though I feel the weight of having to leave with someone who treats me like shit lifted off my shoulder, I don't feel the satisfaction I thought would come from finally ending the relationship. Instead, I feel worse. Especially seeing the look of confusion that covered his face, a look that made me want to just take him in my arms and take back what I had just said, but I knew it was to late for that. Plus I couldn't take back a decision that I knew was the right one. Spending anymore of my life with August would simply be a waste of time since the time we share is full of fighting. "It's over?" He questioned. "Whatchu mean it's over?"

"I mean that I can't be with you anymore. I'm so over this August. We fight, we make up, we fight, we make up. I'm over it." I explained, throwing my hands up in defeat. For the past few months I've been competing against August and his other obligations along with his second persona but it's finally gotten the best of me.

"So what? You just gonna walk out on me and that's it. After two years you just gonna walk out? Over some small ass fights." He spat.

"You cheating on me and neglecting me is not some small ass fight. You just expect me to sit around waiting for you to come home, if you even come home. I can't be with someone who doesn't even care about me."

"You can't just sit down and talk to me about this. You just gonna up and leave. Everybody has fights, we supposed to move past it though. You just gonna give up because of a rough path? You supposed to be the one holding me down through thick and thin. My ride or die-" " And I am. I will always be here to hold you down and I'll always ride for you-" "How you gonna hold me down, be my ride our die, how you gonna do that shit if you can't even stand by me when we have a fight. We're gonna fight, it's part of being in a relationship. Yeah we fight a lot but you act like I don't try my best to make you happy. If it's the fights that make you wanna leave then you gotta suck it up 'cuz that's what a relationship is. You just to dumb to see that."

"I can't just sit around and let you treat me like shit-"

"Stop saying I treat you like shit! All I fucking do is try to make you happy! I don't fucking treat you like shit! " He exclaimed, sending a wave of shock through my body. Through all the fights we've had he never once raised his voice in the matter he just did. He toke his head in his hands for a moment as he recollected himself."You ain't leavin'." He stated in a calmer tone.

"I'm not leaving?" I questioned, making sure I had heard him right.

"Ya heard me. Ya ain't leavin. I'm not gonna let you leave because of some stupid ass fight. It's just not gonna happen."

"This isn't a stupid ass fight anymore! I'm not leaving because you wanted to watch ESPN and I wanna watch bad girls club! I'm leaving because this isn't working anymore! The neighbors constantly complain about our yelling, the landlords ready to kick us out, I never get to see you, and when I do all we do is fight. I'm twenty three I don't need to be dealing with this. What's the point of staying together If you don't even care?"I asked him, the same question that always seemed to pop up in my head when the two of us fought.


"Tell me why I should stay." I stated, folding my arms across my chest. "Tell me why I should stay August." I repeated. "Tell me."

"What the fuck do you want me to say!?"

"Say anything! Tell me you don't want me to leave. Tell me you can't live without me. Tell me anything you want, just tell me something. You know you haven't told me you loved me in months. Months August!"

"Why would I tell you shit you already know?" He barked.

"Do I know? Lately I've been feeling like you hate me. Tell me you love me." I commanded, wanting to know if he was still capable of saying the three words.

"I ain't bouta do this stupid shit-"

"Just tell me!"

"I love you, aight. You satisfied?"

"You can't even look me in the eyes August. Your lying to me. You can't even tell me you love me anymore. This is why I'm leaving August!"

"You know what," he started as he made is way towards the door, "I don't even care anymore. I'm done with this shit." He through his hands up in defeat before shutting the door behind him.

"That's right! Go ahead and walk out on me like always!" I yelled, even though my cry was unheard. The fact that he could just walk out on me so easily, like leaving effected him in no way what so ever, shows me that my decision to leave was the right one. My eyes overflowed with the tears that I could no longer keep in as I collapsed onto the wooden floor.

It's times like this that I wish the whole King situation never happened. Times when I balled up crying that I wish I had Shanicee here to cheer me up. She'd probably tell me not to cry over a man, to get my ass up and go to the club. Fighting my feelings of despair I decided to take the advice I know she would've gave and go out. Climbing into a tight fitting dress I decided to French quarter, hoping to find a decent party.

To my luck The Famous Door just so happened to be the destination of everyone's night. Darrel, the bouncer and long time friend allowed me to get in without waiting in the excoriating long line that curved around the corner. While the line outside contained approximately a hundred people the inside of the club must've had three times that amount. Making my way through the crowd, which consisted of different sexes grinding up on each other to sex you by Bando Jones, was a hard task. Every few steps I'd be pulled back by a guy asking to dance. Seeing as though I've been in a relationship for so long going back into the dating world would be difficult, filled with unattractive guys constantly trying to get with me.

"Adira!" I heard my name called from a familiar voice consumed in the crowd. My eyes scanned the surroundings, yet I couldn't quite find the location of the tone. Giving up on the search I redirected my attention back to the bar where the bartender had just placed another drink in front of me.

"Adira!" I heard once again, this time from right behind me. I turned to see the face that matched the voice. "Why you acting like you don't here me calling you? You know how hard it was to get through that crowd?"

"Your the last person I feel like dealing with. What do you want Trey?" I growled, continuing to slowly sip my drink down, my eyes staying locked to the granite that covered the bars counter top.

"I wanna talk to you. You been dogging my calls, I haven't seen you in weeks. I miss you." He spoke, leaning over to engulf me in his arms but I was to quick, moving away before he could make contact. "You still made at me?" He asked, kissing his lips. The simpleminded question instantly enraged me since he knew I was. Trey was one of the few people who knew how long I could keep a grudge. I haven't talked to my own mother or my best friend of over a decade, in two years because of what they did. Keeping a grudge with him for a few weeks over kissing me was an extremely simple task.

"What do you think? Of course I'm still upset Trey. The two of us were supposed to be friends-" "You can't act like you don't feel something between us." "Of course I do. But I never did anything about it because I had August-" "Had?" "Yes Trey had. I had him and you just had to fuck it up. You know he found out, you fucked everything up." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry about y'all breaking up but don't try to blame y'all troubles on me. You know the two of y'all were going through shit way before that kiss. I was just the one who showed you that you could do better than him. I told you I could be ya man. All you gotta do is let me."

* * *

I woke up once again to an empty bed. Since the breakup August had been gone, leaving me to wonder around the apartment alone. Though the two of us haven't talked to one another, his social media presence confirmed that he was still alive and well. I sighed, thinking about how he just left me here alone for the past three weeks, putting the last of my suitcases in the car. Today was the I was moving out. A part of me expected August to talk me out of it but the two of us haven't communicated since that night.

I walked to the small cafe, about a block away, taking in the crisp morning air. Ordering my usual, carmel latte, I made my way to a table to enjoy it. Yet, my moment of joy that was about to be experienced by the sensation the taste of the drink supplied, was cut short by the ringing of my phone.

"What's up T? Something wrong?" I asked. T, being one of August's workers, never called me for anything. The only reason we even had each others numbers was because of August who made sure we could contact each other in case of an emergency. So he's name popping up on my screen automatically made tense up, already preparing myself for bad news.

"Actually yeah something is wrong. August got jumped. He's in the hospital."

"What!?" I yelled, causing all eyes to dart in my direction. I didn't care about ever death stares at the moment though. I just cared about August and finding out if he's okay or not. Regardless of the breakup he's Im still in love with him and can't imagine him dying with this hatred shared between us. "Where is he?" I asked, my tone returning to its normal pitch. I looked around, noticing that everyone's attention had returned back to their previous activity.

"Tulane." He answered. I gave a slight nod, as though he could see it, knowing that Tulane's only five minutes away depending on the traffic, which was nonexistent due to the time of the day. Then I remember that I didn't drive here, instead I walked the ten minutes here so I could get some exercise, so the five minute drive would turn into a twenty minute commute. "You need a ride?" T asked.

"I'm not home right now-"

"I know, you at the café, I'm outside."

I looked out the glass window and sure enough there was T's old Lexus parked across the street. Already knowing why he was there I didn't bother acting confused, just grabbed my coffee and walked to the car.

"August told me to keep a close eye on you-" He spoke as I climbed into the car, starting it back up and driving off. "No need to explain, I already know." I mumbled, throwing one hand up, notifying him to stop speaking. He was oblivious to the fact that I had already seen his broke down car parked outside the apart each night and following me around wherever I went for the past three weeks. If I was to ever hire someone to spy on someone for me T would defiantly not be on my list of candidates.

"So what happened to him?" I asked, resisting the urge to cry. Though my face held a stern look my eyes still held my true feelings. Fear. The last thing I wanted was for anything bad to have happened to August. Together or not he's the only one I care for. Butterflies erupted in my stomach at the thought of seeing him in a hospital bed. Not the first date butterflies though, it was the someone I love may die butterflies which, by the way, are a million times worse. "I 'ont know they just told me that he got jumped. It happened yesterday but you weren't answering your phone." He answered. His calls must've been the ones coming in at 3 in the morning, I didn't even bother checking my call log to see who it was, just ignored each and every one, to exhausted to care about the importance of the calls. Clearly that was an idiotic decision. "How bad is his condition?" I finally asked, not knowing if I was even ready for his answer. He let out a sigh, giving me a quick glance. "You want the truth?" "I'm gonna find out pretty soon." I uttered, pointing to the hospital that could be seen in the short distance. "When I went to go see him he wasn't looking to good. He was in a coma, but the doctors said a coma can last for a couple hours." "But they can also last for a couple months." I mumbled, as we came to a stop in front of Tulane. "Everything's gonna be alright. He's gonna get through this." He said seriously. "He's a fighter." "What room is he in?" I asked, slightly changing the subject. "308, third floor." "Thanks for the ride." I mumbled as I climbed out the car.

The elevator ride to the third floor was the longest thirty seconds of my life. Once I made it to 308 the fear flushed back over me. Behind the door was the one person who I had ever been in love with, the one person who's managed to deal with me for three years, the person who I had just called a quits on, laid in a bed close to death. I toke the doorknob in my hand, taking a deep breath as I opened the door. My unsteady breathing paired with the increase in my heart beat and my shaking hands showed how anxious him being in here had made me. It toke one last deep breath for me to muster up the courage to walk in, and there he was.