The Darkest Relations

TwentyTwo

22

Adira

Here I am sitting outside of this man's house, reflecting on how I just threw away a perfectly good thing because of August. August, it has always been August. The reason I'm in any of this it all leads back to August.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I be so fucking stupid!' My head banged gently against the steering wheel as I ridicule myself for all the bad decisions I've made. "I have to go back, I have to get Trey back. I can't raise this baby alone I-" as I went to put the keys in the ignition so I could return home and beg for Trey to take me back my monologue was cut short by a slight tap at the window. There he stood with a stupid smirk on his face like he didn't just ruin my entire life with his phone call. I rolled the window down a little, just enough to have the sound properly flow through. I had thought about this moment for some time. What it'd be like when we saw each other again. How much time would pass before we met again. How he'd react to my new figure, my pregnant belly, or the fact that I had a baby in my arms. The meeting came a lot sooner than expected. Honestly I thought it'd be at least another few months before me and August had to see one another. I had planned on letting him see the baby at least once, I had it all planned out in my head. I'd let him come visit the last day in the hospital, let him get to see the child he helped make before relinquishing his rights forever. Then Trey would sign the birth certificate and we'd live happily ever after.

Now that's all over because Trey's gone. Forever.

"Can we talk, inside?" August asked, snapping me from my thoughts as he motioned towards the house. He looked scared, as if he were afraid someone was watching him, he kept looking back and forth not even acknowledging me when he spoke. Figuring it was just the side effects of his "promotion" I ignored his paranoia and followed him into his house. I knew that he had moved, because of the new address he had given me for "just in case" a couple weeks ago, but I guess I never paid too much attention to it because I did not expect to see this. The place was the same exact house that we had looked at just before everything went downhill. The same marble countertops, same hardwood floors, even the furniture set that I had picked out. He must have noticed how in awe I was because he interrupted my thoughts with "The deal was just too good to pass up, plus I thought you were gonna come back and would like to see ya know" as he pointed to the furniture that I had previously picked out.

"Why am I here August?" I asked, knowing that a trip down memory lane would just lead to something that I did not need nor want.

"You can sit down Adira." He motioned towards the couch, but I had no intention of sitting on the damn furniture that I picked, in the house that I fell in love with, that now belongs to the man that broke my heart.

"Why am I here August." I maintained my stance, shifting slightly, this slight shift must've revealed how big I had gotten because his eyes instantly lit up at the sight.

"You look good. Do you know what your having yet?"

"August I don't have time for small talk-" I shook my head but I knew that he wasn't going to tell me why he dragged me here so late at night until I gave into his wishes of a slight conversation. "They can't tell yet, the baby's being difficult, but I think she's a girl, I can feel it." My hands roamed over my belly as I grinned at the idea of having a little mini me, a best friend for life. "She's difficult just like her daddy." I glanced up at him. Leave It to August to create a child so stubborn that they refuse to reveal their gender until their grand entrance.

"Mhmm youre probably right, we do have a lot of girls in the family." He smiled, probably thinking about his nieces. I too smiled at the thought of them,I missed them, and his mom, and him. " Can I?" He had his hand out motioning towards my stomach. I nodded my head in agreement. Obviously the plan that I had mapped out was over now so why not let him feel the baby kick. "Yeah, she's kicking right now, I think she can tell her dad's around." I took his hand and guided it to the place where the baby's kicks could be felt. It was like she was in a frenzy trying to her dad 's attention. "Oh yeah you got a kickboxer in there." He joked. " Hey little baby, it's your daddy. I know I haven't been around but I promise that I love you, and I'll always be here for you, and your mommy, because you two are the loves of my life." For a slight second I wanted to fall back into the trap, wanted it take him back, be a real family, have my home and my man and my child. But that moment came and went fast, because while all those things sounded so nice, the damage was already done. I moved back, just slightly out of his grasp, there was no way I was falling for his bullshit again. "August, really why am I here." With those five words his whole demeanor changed, he went back to the frantic looking man that I was greeted with upon arriving, something was clearly wrong.