Chapter 7: Emotions

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I rubbed at a knot in my neck angrily as I waited for the damn coffee machine to hurry up.

It was twelve hours since the talk with Roy but I still felt...Depressed and defeated. Roy was too far gone, I couldn't save him. Maybe if I had tried sooner, stopped trying to encourage his search for Speedy from the getgo...

No Roy was stubborn he would have done it anyways.

I groaned as I leaned forward, balancing my body on the table I was sitting at and putting my head in my arms. Maybe if I had gotten some sleep I would have been in better shape, but nope. Got home after 5 and only had three hours to fail at sleeping before I had to get up and get ready for work.

"You're acting like you're hungover." I heard a familiar voice say and I look up to see Quinn standing over me, a cocky grin on his face and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Trust me, I'm not." I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "Just...Tired."

"Ya I assumed as much." He said before handing me a paper cup. "That's why I got you good coffee, the machine here is garbage."

"You didn't have to do that Quinn..." I muttered, taking the cup from him nontheless.

"For my best employee and good friend? Nonsense." He said, smirking as he sat down across from me.

"Don't say that... Maddy's way better at teaching then I am." I muttered.

"Except Maddy's French is terrible and she takes 30 minute smoke-breaks..." Quinn says before growing a terrified look on his face. "Oh God I sound like my dad!"

I couldn't help but laugh as I took a long sip of the warm coffee and almost moaned as the caffeine entered my system. "You're doing a great job with the studio Quinn, your Dad must be proud."

Quinn shrugged, brushing the dark brown hair from his blue eyes. "Eh, he says I'm alright."

I chuckled and took another long swig of coffee as I looked him over. Quinn had certainly grown since High School, his body had filled in with muscles and he had grown quite a bit. He had a little bit of facial scruff but it worked for him, and when he wore a button down his sleeved were rolled up and it was undone by three buttons. At first glance you couldn't tell that he owned a business, or even more surprisingly, that he was a father.

Sweet little Natalie...She was an angel for a two year old and looked so much like her father. It's too bad she couldn't have been born into a whole family, and not have been the product of a drunk one-night-stand and left on Quinn's doorstep nine months after.

"So...Maia came to talk to me again." Quinn said and I groaned shoving my face into my palm.

"I am so sorry, I keep telling her to leave you alone but-""Hey, it's alright Lina." Quinn interjected, raising a hand to stop me. "I'm actually happy someone so important to you recognizes that we're close friends. She's your...Cousin right?"

I nodded, going along with our story. "Ya, distant cousin. We met during Dad's funeral and we just kind of clicked. She's more like a little sister to me then anything."

"Right, that's sweet." Quinn smiled before shaking his head and looking back at me. "Anyways, she brought up high school and our past and stuff, and it got me thinking...If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Alright?"

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks Quinn."

He smiled back and got up, pressing his hand to my shoulder. "I mean it Lin', you've been there for me. You helped me take over the studio, you helped me with Natalie...You've been an awesome friend and I want to be there for you. So if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to call me up."

I looked up and smiled to him. We shared a moment of smiling at each other before we walked out.  The moment he walked away though, I grabbed my phone and went to Maia's contact.

Please stop trying to set me and Quinn up! It's not gonna happen! -Lina

Clicking my phone off, I shoved it into my pocket and got up. I had another class in thirty minutes, and Lord knows I need to stretch and do some dancing of my own before I go around teaching a bunch of seven year olds.

***

After work, I decided I needed to go visit Dad. So I packed my bag and started off, walking the ten minutes in the cold February weather to the cemetery.

While I walked, couples were everywhere. Holding hands and talking...Walking in and out of stores...kissing and laughing...This was a few kilometers west of the city of Love after all. Where better to spend Valentines day then in France?

I found myself reaching for my ring finger and feeling the space that my ring once sat. The absence of the cool metal was just one more reminder...And I hated it.

I had talked to Sha'lai'na and Cal, although it was a very awkward discussion. Mostly Cal standing off in the corner, brooding while Sha'lai'na apologized and cried profusely. Garth hadn't taken the news well either; but the meeting wasn't as awkward as it was with his parents. I think we sort of bonded in a way, the two of us had something in common after all: we were the only ones left sane or alive in our trio of friends. That was the most painful trip I had ever taken, and it was the last time I'd gone to Atlantis...And it might just stay that way.

When I finally got to the cemetery, my legs took me to dad's headstone as if on autopilot. When I got there though, I froze. It felt weird to just stand there but...I didn't want to sit down.

I ended up just standing.

"Hey Dad...It's been a while. Sorry about that, I've been kind of busy. The team's just been really busy and when I'm not there I'm working or...Failing at sleeping- damn insomnia's worse then ever. Leo and I talked a while ago though, and I actually slept really well with him, I think it's because I thought he was you. It was like...I was a kid again, just sleeping in your arms; like none of this had ever happened. We hadn't been in the accident, I hadn't gotten my powers, I hadn't fallen in love, I hadn't been dumped...You hadn't had your stroke..."

I felt the tears start and I cursed under my breath.

"I'm sorry Dad...If I had just been there, instead of on that stupid mission. If I had been there, you would have gotten to the hospital in time! You'd be alright. But now...Calvin's off God-knows-where, Leo's alright but I mean...He's the youngest, he's still a kid! He shouldn't have to be the most mature out of all of us, you know? This family used to be the most important thing to me, and the most normal part of my life and now...It's all broken and shattered and it wouldn't be of I had just...Stayed home."

I covered my face in my hands and groaned loudly.

"Damnit why?! Everything was going so well! I was engaged to the love of my life, I had an amazing​ family and a wonderful protege, I had the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for, and not to mention my dream job...Everything was so perfect and then...It all fell apart."

I couldn't talk anymore as I looked down at the headstone below me.

Michael Dubois
1957-2015
Loving Father and Friend

"I miss you Papa..." I muttered, kissing my fingers and touching the headstone. "I miss you so much..."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Maia standing over me. Before I could say anything, my body enveloped her in a hug which she immideatly returned.

"Are you alright?" She asked, more as a 'I have no idea what I'm supposed to  say here' moment.

"No..." I muttered. "I don't think I am."

I figured it was time to bring Quinn back, and explain what happened to Lina's dad. So I hope y'all enjoy this angsty chapter! 

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