Two days, two days I sat here staring down at Blaire, praying to every god I knew that she will wake up. I haven't left her side since. Chase and Penny visit every now and then to bring me food and keep me company. I don't talk much but I appreciate them being there, gives me a break from my thoughts.
The doctor comes in daily too, he doesn't talk much only to give me an update on how she's doing.
***
I wake up and take a second to get my bearings before I look up hopefully like I have done every morning, except this morning is different. This time I'm not looking at Blaire's sleeping face but big round green eyes, the most beautiful things I have ever seen. She's awake. My heart filled with joy. I reach out my hand out to her but she jolts back and goes tumbling off the edge of the bed. I jump up in shock and race around the bed to help her. When I reach her she is shaking violently and her breathing is coming out sporadic. She rips the needle from her arm which lets a trail of blood to go running down her arm. I rush over to help her but stop when the most heart-breaking sound comes from her mouth. A sob. Tears stream down her face as she kicks and struggles against the sheets that have her lengths constrained.
"I'm not going to hurt you" I say quickly, my mind is racing. She loosens the sheets and scuttles back into the corner, her back hit the wall so hard I swear I heard a crack. I rush towards her to see if she is alright when she raises her hands over her face. My heart stops. She's scared of me. She's scared I'm going to hurt her.
A strong grip attaches itself to my shoulder and pulls me back, I look over to see Chase. I get pulled back towards to the door by Chase and before I leave I look back at my mate who is looking hopelessly at Penny.
Once outside I stare at the door, soft sobs sound from the other side and every sound breaks my heart more and more. Chase stands in front of me ready to stop me from going in and making this worse. "Ben, we should go" Says chase in a calming voice. I slowly drop my gaze and look at the ground trying to keep my breathing steady. After a couple more sobsI can't take it anymore so I turn and leave the room with Chase behind me.
***
We sit in the waiting room. I just finished explaining to the doctor what happened when she woke up. When I was done he gave me a nod than walked away. Penny is still with Blaire, no doubt calming her down. She was always good at that,as Lunas should be. Chase sat next to me, he hasn't said a word, he has always been the strong silent type. I was the loud one, cracking jokes and poking fun but now that all seems pointless. I felt drained, I don't know what to feel anymore.
A door opening brought everyone to attention. Penny emerged and called for the doctor, he came out of his office and walked towards to Penny. She looked over at me and Chase and gave us a small smile before turning back and following the doctor into the room and shutting the door.
I dropped back in my seat and continued waiting. Less than 10 minutes passed when the Doctor came out of the room and walked over to me and Chase. He didn't waste anytime before talking.
"She is fine, medically speaking. I have a diet plan laid out for her which should bring her weight up to a healthy BMI." I listened intently as he continued to explain. "Now it is very common for patients who have experienced such things as she has to have PTSD which is post-traumatic stress disorder. What she experiences today was a panic attack, I believe she had one because of the close proximity you were sitting to her, her heartbeat was faster when I was in there too. I can't say for sure but this leads me to believe that she is associating men with a negative emotion because of the years of abuse that have been afflicted on her by men." My jaw went slack, she feared me. "I'm her mate, surely she should feel safe around me?" I questioned, wanting nothing more than to hold her.
"Yes, you are very right, a mate right now would be very useful if she could in fact feel it." I frowned in confusion. "She's a wolf, I can smell it." I retorted. The doctor nodded at me than continued "I was worried about this because dormant wolves are still a mystery. Not much study has been done on these wolves because they are very rare. My best guess would be that over the years her body only had enough energy to keep her human part alive which meant her wolf was pushed to the side."
Silence fell over the three of us again as this information sunk in. I didn't know what to think. Seconds went by as I stared at the ground in shock. Chase spoke up "So what now, she can get better right?" The doctor gave an apologetic smile and responded "I can't tell you, the brain is a mysterious thing and far too complicated for any of us to understand fully. It is different for every person. The best thing to do will be to give her space. Let her come to you, she needs to feel like she has the power to say no and that if things get to much she can back off."
After a moment of staring at the ground, I got up thanked the doctor and marched outside. I needed fresh air, my mind was racing. I walked through the halls than through the common room until I was standing outside on the balcony. My hands reached out and gripped the hand rail. I leaned over and took deep breaths to calm myself down. I was feeling every emotion. Angry at what they did to her, sad that she felt the way she felt, upset that she may never feel how I feel about her.
After 10 minutes, I settled on an emotion, determination. I was determined to make her feel better, to help her forget and to fix her. No matter how much I wanted her, how much I need to hold her I would restrain because this isn't about me. I don't know why it took me so long to realise but this is about her. It has always been about her.
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Woohoo. A big hello to all the new people who have read my story. Thank you soooo much for all the comments and votes. Always much appreciated. 😊
I looked this morning and saw that I was at the top of the new section in the werewolf theme which is very exciting 😊
Anyway talk to you later ❤ ❤ ❤
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The Beta's Broken Mate
WerewolfI look back to Ben. His arms were big and his tummy toned, there were a few scars here are there. He was a fighter. He was someone who could look after themselves, and look at me, clinging onto him for dear life. Me, I'm a coward. Always been a cowa...
