A Marshmallow's Guide to Loving a Complete Idiot (Inanimate Insanity)(Marshple)

03. Find Common Ground

All of the greatest friends had something in common: Salt and Pepper shared a brain, OJ and Paper shared an impatience for betrayal, Marsh and Paintbrush shared a pragmatic mindset and drive to win.

Had you asked Marshmallow what she had in common with Apple just a few days earlier, and she'd have laughed in your face. What could she possibly have in common with her rival, the dimwitted, spiteful, violent Apple whose voice was as annoying as the screech of a chalkboard being scratched?

Oh, she didn't necessarily think Apple would be that way to her again after the truce. It still didn't change that they didn't seem to have anything in common.

Now, she found herself sitting awkwardly beside her at the elimination gallery as Apple reviewed her sheet of paper. "I wrote down everything I could think of that I like to do. We'll just try everything on this list, and anything you like too, and see how that goes!"

"Alright..."

"What is your opinion on sports?"

"I'm a fair hand at them."

"Okay, cool! I didn't bring my rubber ball, so we can't play catch, but we can try playing Frisbee."

Marsh nodded. "We can try it. Wait, did you bring one?"

"No, but I have pretty bright ideas. I'll be right back!"

Apple ran off to where some of the other contestants, mostly Grand Slams, were gathered. Marsh stood up and did a few stretches before standing a little ways away but within sight.

Then Apple came running back. "Hey Marshmallow, catch this!"

Marsh braced herself, but was quickly cut off by the fact that the frisbee was screaming. She threw her arms out and caught it, but it was heavier than she was, knocking her to the ground. It was cold and grunting and kicking.

"What's the big idea?! You lunatic!"

"Nickel?"

Nickel wrestled his way off of her. His expression was rattled. "I think your enemy just made me an accomplice in a murder attempt - just because she wants you dead doesn't mean I have to be too!"

"I'm sorry she did that, but we're not-"

"Whatever; I don't care. Just keep her under control."

Baseball rushed over so quickly he could have fallen at any moment. "Nickel! Nickel, you okay?!"

"Suuuuure, I'm fiiiiine. It's not like my whole life flashed before my eyes as I was USED AS A MURDER WEAPON, nope."

"She wasn't trying to murder me, she just wanted to play catch." Marsh struggled to a sitting position, then Baseball helped her to stand.

Baseball raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you do anything but try to kill each other?"

"It's... a long story."

Meanwhile, the new contestant, Suitcase, scolded Apple: "You can't throw your friends like that, Apple; it's just not the right thing to do!"

Apple crossed her arms. "We needed a frisbee, and he's shaped like one. Maybe HE should put more effort into being a good friend like me."

Marsh cut across, "...Which is to say, she's very sorry about that! Right, Apple?"

"Oh okay, fine. Sorry, Nickel."

"Psht. Whatever." Nickel rolled his eyes. "Just know that, if it happens again, the gloves are coming off."

Then he and his group skedaddled, noticeably shaken. Marsh looked after them for several seconds before sighing. "...Never do that again."

"I won't. But I guess that means sports are a no-go. Let's look at the next item!" Apple pulled the list of of seemingly nowhere. "...I think it says 'fly a kite.' I know where I can find a kite-"

"And it won't be a contestant on the show?"

"...Hmm. Well, I was thinking we could just use... That's right, Paper isn't here. And we don't have any string."

'Thank goodness she forgot about Fan.' "Well, how about you hand me the list and I'll pick something that we can actually do?"

"That's a great idea. Here you go!"

Every word was misspelled, but it wasn't as bad as one would expect from someone who was 'definitionally challenged' and dim. Marsh hummed. "I like to draw, too. And, you know what, fingerpainting is really niche; I've just been called childish for liking to do it."

"How dare they call fingerpainting childish! ...Also, what does 'niche' mean? ...Also also, do you like fingerpainting?"

Marsh ignored the definition request in her haste to reply, "Yeah! Who do they think they are, anyway?! Fingerpainting is an art, I like it a lot! Hmm..." She returned to reading. "Ooh, you like pick-up sticks, too? I think it's a good and old-fashioned way of spending time."

"It is. It's the least destructive way to have fun I know of."

Marsh resolved to find at least one more thing to comment on, and soon found it. "I've never climbed a tree before, and we have plenty around here."

Apple took the list back and folded it. "Yeah, I did it back home sometimes! It's the one activity you can do without people yelling at you about your math ability. Should we go try it now?"

"Maybe in a few minutes. First, I wanted to ask... Do you like music, too? It's one of my favorite things to do."

"Oh? Cool, me too. I don't mean to brag, but I was the best triangle-player in my whole elementary school class." Apple put a hand to her chest; clearly it was an achievement that made her proud.

"I dabble." 'Recorder, vocals, flute, and viola. In order.'

"Cool. Maybe we could start a band or something once the show's over. That'd be a good way to stay famous." Apple grinned toothily.

'Well, it seems we're still really different... But it's better than being total enemies. And it definitely beats bickering about who's the tiny cute one!'

('It's totally me, by the way. No competition there.')