sued into submission 🌷 tracob

8

Troye Sivan

"But it's true, isn't it?"
"But it's true, isn't it?"
"But it's true, isn't it?"

Of course it's true.

"Can I think about it?" I ask in a small quiet voice. It's not just the fact that I'm merely in a towel sitting on the floor that makes me feel so vulnerable. It's the pair of eyes watching my every move. 

"You have until dinner." Mr Bixenman mutters and stands up, brushing off his trousers and walking out of the room. Then I'm left alone on the floor, dizzy, scared, and confused. 

I should have just said yes. 

If I don't I'm back on the streets. 

If I don't the divorce was for nothing.

If I don't my life is pointless. 

But if I do... If I do, what's to say everything will be okay? I like to think I know Jacob Bixenman but truthfully, I don't. I don't know a single thing about him; I don't know any of his favourite things in life, his middle name, his parents. I know absolutely nothing about his personal life. That is because he's Jacob Bixenman. He's cold, alluring, and can ruin your entire life with a snap of his finger. He doesn't do love, breaks, fun, or anything normal people do. He's practically a robot. I don't think he understands much emotion besides lust and anger. 

The only time I've ever seen any splash of true human emotion was the last time we went to Paris. We were there for a case over two men claiming each other's belongings. It was ridiculous. They were both hurting, they were both miserably in love and they just wanted to lash out on each other. The worst part... it was Valentine's day. It was the day of romance and love in the city of romance and love and they were both in court to hurt each other. I couldn't stand to watch it anymore, I had snuck off to the loo and held back pathetic tears while splashing water on my face. Little had I known, Mr Bixenman was already in there and looked over in time to see me sobbing. Sobbing for fuck's sake. He zipped up his trousers and quickly walked to the sink next to me, washing his hands and slinging water everywhere. In seconds he pulled me in his embrace and hushed me, rubbing the back of my suit with his still wet hands and whispered sweet nothings in my ear. I hiccuped and let my tears drip on his suit, trembling against him. "You're okay, everything's okay, you're okay." He told me. I wasn't. I wasn't okay. I was miserably in love with my boss while my wife was on the other line not hours ago telling me how much she loved me. Guilty is an understatement. I felt sick, dirty, and like a cheater. I never did cheat on her. Not once. But I felt like I was by loving someone else. 

"And how can you love someone if you know nothing about them?" You may be asking. 

I don't know, honestly. I was a stupid, stupid, reckless kid. "You were twenty-two." You're pointing out. Okay, maybe. I was still a stupid, stupid, reckless kid. I opened my heart up and swallowed Jacob Bixenman whole while the least he did was glance in my direction. 

After I had pulled myself together in the loo, I pulled away and wiped my tears. 

"I-uh, I'm sorry." I had whispered, clearly embarrassed. Who does that? He's my boss!

The soft, miserably sweet side of him then vanished within seconds, replaced with the cruelly strict and straightforward Jacob Bixenman. He shoved his still damp hands in his pockets and nodded. 

"I'll see you out there."

And that was it. 

That was the one time I saw emotion from him. 

Am I ready to crack my chest open again? Except it won't be my chest this time, it will be my legs. 

Can I really do this to myself? 

"Yes," I utter later at dinner, sitting across from Mr Bixenman at his glossy oak table. 

"Pardon?" He asks.

"I'll do it... whatever you want. I just, I need to stay out of the streets for a little while. I'll end up killing myself by putting my body through that again." I mutter, circling a spoon around in the bowl of soup. 

"Alright." ... "We'll talk more tomorrow. Goodnight." 

And he just gets up and leaves. He fucking leaves. 

Walks out of the house.

And leaves. 

-

a/n: hmm okay so loyalty by kendrick lamar & rihanna is a bop, 10/10

i shall see you in the next chapter, goodnight kiddos