21. What did I just say?

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I couldn't believe my own ears when I said that! I mean, what did I just say?! Did I just say yes?!

But to be honest, it's not like I did that without thinking, as unbelievable as it may be. I couldn't let Mahmoud down like that! Especially now that I knew he had liked me for about 5 or 6 years. I knew how much I feared rejection, and I certainly didn't want to put anyone through what I wouldn't want to go through.

Mahmoud was a good guy. From all that I learned about him today, generally, the way he was, I realised Mahmoud was a nice person. So what if I wasn't ready to get married yet? I have to get married eventually anyway, so why delay it? And besides, I would probably get over Farshad once I'm married. The feelings would wane anyway.

The hopefulness I had seen on Mrs. Musayyab and Naheeda's faces when I stepped in was enough to confirm my decision, other than the fact that Mahmoud had liked me for a very long time.

"Are you sure, honey? You don't want time to think about this? It's a decision regarding your whole life!" Mum said, unsure.

Mum, this wouldn't be the way things had to go if you had bothered to ask me before telling these guys to come over!

"No, ma. I've already made my decision and it's a yes," I declared with an air of finality.

"And I've also made my decision," Mahmoud said.

"Oh, okay! Then that's great! It's perfect! We can now decide when to get the two of you engaged!" Mrs. Musayyab said, excitedly.

"Mum, wait. I haven't finished. I have made my decision, but I haven't told you what it is," Mahmoud said.

Everyone had a puzzled expression, and I am sure mine was the same. What was his decision?

"Not in a bad way, I mean it. But it is a no from me," Mahmoud stated.a

I did a double take at his words, which kept echoing in my ears. 'But it is a no from me'.
Why? Was there something wrong with me? As in, was I not what he expected me to be?

"B-but Mahmoud, you like Aliyah. So what's wrong? You wanted her, so why are you saying no?" Mrs. Musayyab asked, confused and perplexed.

In answer, Mahmoud turned to me.

"Aliyah, I know you said yes for the sake of it. This is a matter of your life. You can't possibly throw your happiness away like that! You can't ruin your life by saying yes to me! I won't let you do that!" Mahmoud said.

"But what makes you think I didn't want to say yes?" I asked, even though he was right.

"Aliyah, you did not have any questions for me. So I could sense that maybe you don't want to ask because you didn't want to give off the impression that you're interested in all this. Because of that, I asked you the last question about your thoughts on your own marriage. And your hesitation was enough to confirm my answer. I know you're not ready for marriage and I don't want to be the reason you get into something you're not willing to get into as yet," Mahmoud explained.

Wow! This guy was a real gentleman! Mahmoud was one of the nicest people I had ever come across, and I realised that he was a gem of  a person, which was why I said what I said next.

"Mahmoud, it is still a yes from me, I haven't changed my mind," I said.

"If that yes was a whole hearted yes, then my answer would definitely be a yes," Mahmoud answered.

And if his no would have been a whole hearted no, then things would have been much easier for me.

"But your no is also not whole hearted," I said.

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