I'll always love you

11

----Laurens----

Alex loved me and that would be enough (sorry), knowing that I could carry on. I just needed love, I needed someone to somehow see the good parts of me (go away, dear evan hansen), someone to hold my hand, someone who would feel happy to see me, someone who would feel pleasure in my kiss.
Alexander Hamilton was that person.

I had to stay in the hospital for two weeks, doctors constantly checking on me and some occasional visits from my newly-found 'counselor'. Alexander Hamilton was there, every time I opened my eyes after sleep he was there, there in the morning, afternoon and evening. The nurses should have been awarded for managing to get him out when visiting hours were over.

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The day I left the hospital can be described in two words only; a struggle.
That is ,in fact, an understatement. If I had to describe it in only one word it would definitely be; hell.

The second I stepped out of the doors, Alex grabbed my waist and planted a huge kiss on my lips. "Oh god. I've missed you so much, Laurens."
"What in the world are you talking about? Alex, you've been with me since the day I got put in the hospital." Hamilton took a moment to register what I had said before shrugging his shoulders.
"Yeah, but it's not the same."
I scoffed and kissed him on the cheek, "you're such a dork." I chuckled as we walked off, hand in hand.

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Alex being Alex insisted that I went to school that day there really is no reason why other than it's Alex.

I walked slowly through the corridor and it felt like there was hundreds of eyes staring at me, because there was. Word must've spread fast about my....incident.

I held my head down and watched my heavy feet trudging along, trying my best to ignore everyone.

The whispers were loud, they were practically too loud to be whispers. "It's him." and "he's the one who did it." passed through my ears many times.

I could hear Alex walking behind me and that gave me a sense of safety.

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I had never been happier to get into a classroom before. The eyes had stopped watching me and the whispers had ceased. Even better my teacher for this class was Mr Washington.

"John, welcome back." He regarded me with a nod.

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Lunch came soon enough and I was dreadfully excited to see my friends again, well that's what I thought at the time.

The cafeteria was busy and it was hard to spot my friends but when I did, it was a horrible sight.

They were all sat, laughing and having a good time, with Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. My stomach flipped round, what are they doing? I thought.

My friends, the only people I could trust were sat with the person who makes my life a living hell. I stared at them for a moment, they were truly having fun with that idiot. It broke my heart.

Before they could see me, I ran off to sit on an empty table. I did notice that one person was not sat at that table, Alex. He had just walked into the cafeteria and his eyes immediately landed on our friends, he looked confused and then completely disgusted at what he saw. It looked as though he was about to go and let his rage out on the table but he spotted me and turned round to walk over.

"What the hell? What the hell?!" he shouted as soon as he sat down. "What the fuck are they all doing with that Jefferdick?!" I chuckled at the name Alex had given Thomas before shrugging my shoulders and sighing deeply. "I'm gonna go and politely explain to them why they should not be associating themselves with that little macaroni fucker!" I knew that Alex's definition of 'polite' was far from the real thing so I tried to stop him but his petite frame easily escaped my grasp and he stormed to the table, I then thought it would be very rude to not follow him.

"What the fuck, guys?!" He shouted at them.

"Oh hey, Alex." Eliza started, "Wanna sit with us?" Alex scrunched his face up and scoffed loudly.

"No, Eliza. I do not want to sit with you and Jefferdick."

"Well we don't want to sit with an attention whore!" Eliza smirked as she said that. My heart dropped and I couldn't comprehend any words.

Alex went bright red with anger.

"Who are you calling an attention whore." Although, he said that calmly as if he was trying to hold back.

"John." My eyes stared tearing up and I stepped back a little. I scanned the table and saw Eliza, Maria and Angelica smirking ruthlessly. Peggy, Laf and Herc were sat with their heads hung low and frowns prominently lining their faces. Laf looked at me and his eyes were full of pure sorrow and shame. If he didn't want to be with them then why can't he just leave?

"Thomas has told us everything." Eliza continued, "he told us how John was feeling left out of our friendship group and so he decided to try and kill himself so people would notice him, so someone would pity him and then that someone would just become best friends with the slimy little attention whore." My head spun around and I couldn't understand what she was saying, I would never do something like that!

"No." Is all I could say before running off, tears streaming down my face.

A/n: AN UPDATE? WHAT. I actually updated. I am so sorry for the huge wait for a new chapter and I'm even more sorry that this one is crap and terribly written!

<I'll try to be quicker at updating this time but I probably won't be.