A Place to Land

Karen

"Put my heart in the wrong hands"

I am so livid with Mark right now. Never in a million years would I have ever even thought he would do something like this. We were supposed to be in this for the long haul. It was supposed to be me and him and a few little ones. I can't believe he would throw all of this away for some backup singer he just met. Mark and I have been together for ten years and married for five of those years. There is no way I can trust him after this. I don't even want to face him right now.

I pulled in our driveway and to no surprise, Mark isn't home. I went inside and set my stuff down. This house just feels foreign to me. It doesn't even feel like home. I walked in the kitchen to find something to make for dinner. I rummaged around in the fridge and cupboards. Nothing seems appealing to me. I have no appetite for anything, but I could definitely go for a glass of wine. I grabbed the half empty bottle of Rosé from the bottom shelf of the fridge. I grabbed a glass and filled it to the top. I took a sip and set in on the counter. I leaned down and rested my head in my hands and let the tears fall again. I have never cried so much in one day before. I probably cried in Jimi's shoulder for at least fifteen minutes.

I pulled myself together and grabbed my glass of wine and went into the living room. I turned on the lamp and sat down on the couch. I just sat there in silence and would occasionally take a sip of my wine and waited for Mark to come home.

I waited around for three hours before I heard his car pull in the driveway. The door slammed shut and I waited for him to come through the front door. He opened the door and walked in. The couch faces away from the front door, so when he walked in, I didn't look at him.

"Hey Kare" he said cheerfully. I said nothing and took another sip of my wine.

"We finally finished Carrie's album" he added and walked in front of the couch.

"You're telling me that recording an album with Carrie Underwood involves hooking up with one of her backup singers" I said without looking at him. He froze and said nothing.

I still didn't look at him. I wasn't going to let myself cry.

"You didn't think I would find out" I said and finally made eye contact with him. He had wide eyes and still didn't say anything.

"How long?" I asked in a monotone voice.

"What?" he asked, surprised at that question.

"How long?" I repeated. He sat down on the chair diagonally across from me.

"A few days after I started on Carrie's album" he said quietly. Now he wasn't making eye contact with me.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know...We all went out for drinks one night then we were the last two from our group still left. We had a few too many drinks and went back to her place and it just happened" he said.

"Honestly, I don't even remember it" he said. I let out a small, but upset, laugh and rolled my eyes. 

"Why did you keep doing it?" I asked.

"I don't know" he said. He seemed ashamed of himself, which he should be. Honestly, I don't even want to know why because that will just hurt even more than this already does.

"If it makes anything better, I ended it with her" he said. I looked up at him again and drank the last little bit of my wine. I set the glass down on the end table and stood up.

"You're sleeping on the couch" I said and walked upstairs. I just left him sitting there. I didn't turn back because I would just lose it. I made it to our bedroom and got ready for bed.