A Place to Land

Mark

"But I end up getting burned instead"

I was hanging out at home, getting all of my stuff ready for Carrie's tour. I heard my phone go off, but I didn't know where it was. I finally found it in a couch cushion. I saw that it was Karen calling me. I wonder what she wants.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey" she said. Then it was silent for a few moments.

"I have something I need to talk to you about" she said.

"Okay... what is it?" I asked nervously.

"I don't want to do it over the phone. Are you free tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah, what time?" I asked.

"Around ten or eleven?" she asked.

"I can meet you at ten. Do you want to meet at the Coffee House?" I asked.

"Yeah. That would be perfect" she said.

"Alright. Tomorrow at ten" I said.

"Okay" she said and hung up the phone.

That was really weird. I wonder what she wants to talk about. She sounded a little nervous on the phone. I hope everything is okay.

I went on with my day, but I couldn't help but think about what Karen needs to talk about. I'm really nervous about seeing her tomorrow. I haven't seen her since the night she found out about Jackie. I really have no idea what she wants to talk about.

The next morning I woke up at 8:30. I took a shower and got dressed. I went downstairs and made myself a bagel. My heart was racing all morning. I'm so nervous about meeting with Karen in an hour. Since I'm meeting her at 10:00, I decided to leave at 9:45.

I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes before 10:00. I saw Karen's car in the parking lot already. I walked in and she was ordering. I hopped in line and ordered a coffee. After I got my drink, I found her at a table.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Fine" she said and took a sip of her tea. Since when does she like tea?

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked her. She took in a deep breath and dug for something in her purse.

She pulled out, what looks like a picture. She set it on the table and slid it across to me. I set my coffee down and picked up the picture. I had no idea what this was. I looked a little closer at it and I realized it was a sonogram picture from an ultrasound.

I looked up at her. "I'm pregnant" she said quietly. I was silent. I was not expecting this to be the topic of conversation today.

"Um... how far along are you" I asked kind of hoping that she was going to tell me it wasn't mine.

"A little over eight weeks" she said. Well shit. It is mine. I know exactly when this happened too.

"When are you due?" I asked.

"Around January 20th" she said and I nodded.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Well, I'm keeping the baby and I still want to go through with the divorce if that's what you're asking" she said in an irritated tone like I should have know the answer to that question.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes." She said immediately.

"There is no way either of us would be happy if we stayed married. It wouldn't be a good home to raise a baby. It would be better if we went through with the divorce and shared custody" she said.

"That makes sense. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to" I said.

"How is this going to work with the divorce then? Are we going to have to figure out custody arrangements or something?" I asked.

"The divorce will be finalized before the baby is born and I was thinking that we could be civil adults and figure out the arrangements on our own" she said.

"Okay" I said.

"I got the touring gig with Carrie" I said.

"That's great. How long is the tour?" she asked.

"I have a year contract" I said.

"Are you able to get off when I have the baby?" she asked concerned.

"I don't know. I would have to ask" I said.

"I want you to be there and be in the baby's life Mark" she said.

"I'll do my best" I said.

"The next ultrasound is on the 25th at 10:30 if you want to come" she said.

"I start on the tour on the 15th so I will have to see if we have a day off" I said.

"Okay. Let me know" she said.

"I have to get going" she said and I nodded.

"It was good to see you Karen" I said.

"You too" she said and left.

I cannot believe that Karen is pregnant. I knew she always has wanted kids, but I don't know if I ever really wanted kids. She would make a great mom, but I could never imagine myself being a dad. I told her that I think we should just live our life the way it was and if it were to happen, it would. I kind of just wanted it to be the two of us. Now we're getting a divorce and she is having my baby. This was most certainly not in the plan. I think I just need to take a minute and let it sink in and maybe this baby could be a good thing.

But what is it going to do to my career? She's going to want me to quit the tour to stay back with the baby. I don't know if I want to give up my career just like that. I know she is the type of person that would give up her dream of singing to have a baby, but I don't think I can. I have worked too hard for this job and everything is finally starting to fall into place for me and I'm not going to let a baby step in the way of that.