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Chapter 10: Self-Conscience

“I felt bad for her. She didn’t deserve to think about herself that way. I wish I could stay here a little longer, to help her, to stop those corrupted thoughts from taking over her head. Maybe it was just her. Or maybe it was just me.”

 ●

After a while, she heard a knock from the door. Baffled, she still opened to see who it was. Maria was speechless. A girl about the same age as hers appeared. Her eyes were swollen. She looked hopeless.

  “Hello. What can I do for you?” Maria said. The girl was silent for a few minutes.

“Do you not remember me Maria? I am Olivia, one of your friends.” Maria then remembered her. Flashbacks of memories hit her head. It didn’t feel right, but she trusted what she remembered.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you need some help?” Olivia nodded. “I need a friend who can listen to me.”

  Maria was surprised by her answer. She accommodated her inside the mansion. She was concerned about her friend. Worried, she simply stayed quiet as her friend told Maria her story.

“I wasn’t this conscious until….I met this person. I didn’t want to be friends with her but she was there when I was feeling down. It kind of made me feel better, until time passed by and it made me into this. Into this weak person. It completely destroyed me. I regret welcoming it into my life, but well, it just came.” Olivia started. 

“I don't feel worthy. I feel so embarrassed about my flaws. All I could see are my insecurities. All the words I receive are insults and every word that I hear brings down my self-esteem.” She said. Maria felt bad about her friend. Her heart felt heavy.

“I can feel their judging eyes directly staring at me when I do something in public. I avoid eye contacts, I avoid hanging out with groups of people. I do not attend gatherings. I avoid doing something in public. I don't like meeting strangers.” Olivia continued. Maria somehow could relate to what her friend has been through. It was also hard for her.

“Others would think that I am living in my own world. I do not protest, because it is true. I am not friendly. I am a snob. I have my own world and I push away those people who invade my bubble. I am sick of this. The feeling of wanting to do something but not doing it because of the same reason kills me. I want to change, but I cannot bring myself up again after all that has happened to me.” Olivia said. Maria got teary-eyed and comforted her.

 Olivia felt better after opening up to her friend.

“Thank you for listening to me Maria. I am thankful for having you as a friend.” Maria was glad to help her.

“No problem. Just come here when you need someone to talk to. Don’t let their words affect you. Just be true to yourself and do what makes you happy.” She said. Olivia sweetly smiled at her.

 Before Olivia left the door, she looked back at Maria and spoke, “You act just like him. Thank you.” Maria felt confused, but before she could ask, Olivia had disappeared, nowhere to be found.