To Love (Mpreg, Scömíche)

Chapter 10

12 weeks, first quarter, 2 months 3 weeks May 4

It's Wednesday.

The episode has been uploaded and I have yet to touch my phone, terrified to see the response.

I lay sprawled out on a couch in my, Scott, Avi, and Kevin's dressing room. We're supposed to be getting ready to greet the fans, and take pictures, but I don't have the energy to move.

I am curled into as small as a ball my baby bump will allow. My body trembles as I try to fight off a panic attack, the fear of it all being out there now, never being able to take it back, and having to face the fans now has me trembling as sobs build up in my throat, and my breath comes out in small gasps. I burry myself deeper beneath the blanket I'm curled up in tears running down my cheeks.

I don't want to go out there to face them. What if they hate me? What if they don't even want to take a picture with me? What if they treat me strangely, no longer knowing how to be around me?

My mind runs though every scenario, and has me feeling terrified.

Suddenly a hand rests gently on my shoulder jolting me out of my thoughts as I look up at the person, recognizing them immediately as Avi.

"Hey what's going on?" He asks rubbing my back gently worry set in his features.

I try to speak, but all that comes out is little gasps as I continue to hyperventilate.

Avi settles down beside me continuing to rub my back trying to get me to calm down. I hear the sound of footsteps, but I don't move too focused on trying to get my breathing back under control.

"Mitchie," the familiar sound of Scott's voice has me looking up to see his blue eyes looking down at me.

Avi disappears from my line sight to be replaced with Scott whom easily scoops me up into his arms with the both of us sitting on the couch as he gently rubs my back whispering soothing things in my ear.

Slowly my body grows exhausted, my breath returning to normal and sobs dying down. I am left feeling drained with a horrible headache, and my face burning from all the tears I've shed. My body still trembles as the adrenaline leaves me, but Scott holding onto me helps ground me.

"Feel a little better?" He asks as he continues to rub my back.

"No, I have now a horrible headache, I'm nauseous and want to take a nap," I pout closing my eyes as I keep track of my breathing needing to keep it under control.

Scott let's me lay there in silence knowing that I need some time to myself after a panic attack before talking.

The strain of the panic attack has my stomach rolling with nausea. I try to get it calmed down by rubbing my belly, but nothing is working. If anything the pressure on my sensitive stomach only makes it worse.

I soon realize it is a losing battle when saliva builds up in my moth and I start to cough as my stomach contracts making bile rise up from the pits of my stomach.

As soon as I start coughing Avi reappears with a bucket in hand. Scott helps me sit up holding my trembling body as I throw up the contents of my stomach into the bucket that Avi holds steady in front of me.

As soon as it came on it disappeared leaving me sweaty, and shaky, but feeling better with my stomach now settled. I snuggle back into Scott's arms just wanting the comfort of being held.

"Mitch, what happened?" Scott asks softly as he gently runs his fingers through my hair helping me stay relaxed.

"I'm scared to face the fans now that they know. I fear their response. I'm such a coward, I mean I wanted to do this, but now that it has happened I'm terrified of even going out to face the small group of fans," I admit tears running down my cheeks again, but I'm not falling back into the panic attack like I had earlier.