To Love (Mpreg, Scömíche)

Chapter 13

June 18

18 weeks, 4 months, second quarter

The past two weeks have been incredibly difficult on all of us. The day after Kirstie was admitted to the hospital it was announced to the fans that she had a medical emergency and would not begin to continue on with the tour, however that has not stopped tour. We were able to perform at the show in Amsterdam after rescheduling for the next day at an earlier show, then we hurried to Belgium. We've been going on with shows like normal, only without Kirsite. She has been in Amsterdam recovering with Jeremy and her mom whom both flew out after receiving the news from Esther.

Not being there for Kirstie during this challenging time is the more aggravating thing, especially with her discharge four days after being admitted. She is currently staying at a hotel due to her being unable to travel, but I am sure to call her each night after a show. We sometimes just talk about the tour and other simple things. Other times we talk about how she is handling the loss, which always ends in tears on both sides. I am careful to never bring up my pregnancy unless she brings it up first, and she always does. She is always asking how I am feeling, if I can feel the baby moving yet, and all that jazz.

The shows have been great, but strange. It's so weird to not have her on stage with us singing alongside us. It always feels like not having her there throws all of the songs off. Yet, we pull through, and make it work. 

The fans have all been understanding, and compassionate even though they don't know what all is going on. They all always ask how Kirstie is doing, and give us gifts to pass onto her. 

Currently we are in Rome lounging backstage even though it is only about ten in the morning. Normally we would be trying to sleep in, but jet lag has hit us all. Not to mention I am struggling to sleep due to being stressed about Kirstie and feeling just uncomfortable with my body starting to ache. 

I am stretched out lazily on the couch a bowl of fruit resting beside me as I pop a piece of pineapple in my mouth. Avi, Kevin, Esther, Scott, Stephanie and Nicole are all in the room with me chatting about something that my mind just does not feel like focusing on. 

I put my bowl of fruit aside for a moment deciding that I want cuddles rather than food right now, and seeing as Scott is across the room gathering a plate of food I curl up against Kevin happily smiling when he drapes an arm around me while continuing to talk.

"Kevin are you trying to steal my man?" Scott asks jokingly as he pops a piece of jerky into his mouth.

"Hey he's like a kitten. He constantly wants attention and cuddles, don't blame me," Kevin argues making me raise an eyebrow up at him as he laughs.

"I feel like I should be insulted, but strangely I'm okay with being compared to a cat," I say ignoring everybody as they laugh at me and I nuzzle against Kevin's side like a cat would. 

"Any news on when Kirstie will be able to come back on tour with us?" Avi asks hopefully.

"She's not coming back for the rest of this part of the tour. I'm sorry guys. The Europe leg ends on June 26, and she's not allowed to work again until July 13th. By then we'll be on break until the Japan leg in late August. I'm sorry, we're finishing Europe without her," Esther says making the room go silent. The fact that she is unable to experience the joys of the Europe leg of the tour is heartbreaking. She had been looking forward to this part of the tour, and now she can't go.

"Will she at least be going home at the same time at us, or will she still be stuck in Europe until July 13th?" I ask really hoping that she will at least be able to travel home with us.