To Love (Mpreg, Scömíche)

Chapter 36

October 17

Aria: nine months

Everything has move incredibly fast since we got home with everything being a whirlwind of doctor appointments and recovery. Both Scott and I have had plenty of physical therapy appointments and consoling sessions. 

Scott is no longer in a sling, and is helping me in anyway he can. Watching him now as he sings along to Beyonce as he folds laundry with me I can't help, but smile. My Scotty is back, at least for the most part.

I am doing much better as well with the infection now flushed from my system giving me more energy and feeling overwhelmingly better. My cast is now gone to be replaced with a brace for my leg due to it being still weak, but mostly can now support my body weight. 

Aria is nestled beside me in the pile of clothes we fold her giggles like music to my ears as she laughs at her daddy dancing around the room as he folds a pair of boxers. 

Everything seems great, but that is just it. Things just seem great. 

In actuality, we're both still struggling. 

Neither one of us have yet to make a public appearance since getting home from the hospital. When going out we have a security guard accompany us and we never head out just for fun anymore. We only do the necessities like grocery shopping or doctor appointments. We are constantly living in this fear that something like what had happen will happen again.

We both will wake with nightmares, I hate strangers touching me, Scott is overbearingly protective of me always scared of me wandering to far away from him and disappearing. We both fear having Aria away from us scared someone will take her as well, which makes tonight terrifying for the both of us.

Scott and my psychologist had gotten together and agreed that is time that Scott and I have a night to ourselves, meaning no Aria. This idea would have been scary to me even before the attack, but now it scares me to the point of tears. Yet, I know it shouldn't, for Aria is going to be just with her godmother, Esther, and will be perfectly safe. At least, so I tried to rationalize it, but it still didn't stop me from crying this morning babbling about how I'm not ready to have my baby away from me.

Glancing at the clock I see that it is already 4:20 meaning that Esther will be hear to pick up Aria in just forty minutes.

"Scott, can you take care of the rest of the clothes? I need to get Aria ready, and make sure she has everything she needs for tonight," I ask Scott as  I brace myself on the armrest and push myself to my feet being sure to keep my bad leg steady.

"It's not that time already is it? Maybe, we can just tell Esther we changed our minds, because Aria is sick or something," Scott suggests glancing nervously at the clock looking just as scared as I am to have Aria away from us for a night.

"Scott, it's Esther. She'll know we're lying, and they're right. We need to remind ourselves to stop being paranoid. Something horrible isn't going to happen every time Aria is out of our sights," I remind him as I scoop up Aria from the pile of clothes as I walk over to Scott giving him a light kiss and snuggling against him with Aria in between us.

"You're right. It will all be fine. Jeremy is in jail, and tonight is going to be great. Everything will work out," Scott agrees trying to reassure himself as he holds me and Aria close his chest rising up and down slowly as he takes deep breaths.

"Just think we get some alone time too...A nice yummy dinner together, maybe a movie, a warm bath and then we can finally make love again," I say the last part with a little hope, for having sex with Scott again after three months without has been a tough topic for he worries I'm not ready yet, and honestly the fear of it still lingers in my mind. But I know that if I keep putting it off I will start to truly fear it, and with the doctor giving us the go ahead two weeks ago it's time we both take that step in our recovery.