Two Sides of The Same Coin (Merthur)(Discontinued)

Four out of the Five

Arthur's POV:

I forgot to tell him I love him.

How could I have been such an idiot? Merlin.... Merlin who's eyes had gone out of focus and who was completely still, his head resting on my lap. The only thing to show he was alive was the gentle rise and fall of his chest, so much different than how painful each breath seemed for him a moment ago. Why did he look so.... gone?

His chest rose underneath some sort of new cloth. It appeared so delicate, so clean, it was unfair. Almost as if Merlin had recieved better treatment with Morgana than he had in Camelot. The clothing was obviouslt from her, highlighted in green with her crest on the tunic.

"Merlin?" I asked, running my fingers through Merlin's black hair. His eyes stared right ahead, although I felt as if he would turn his head at any moment and break out in that big grin he always wore, but.... He didn't. It was unnatural, almost, to see Merlin so still. He shouldn't ever look like this. Not my Merlin. Not ever.

"Merlin. Look at me, that's an order." He didn't move. Why wasn't he moving? He must have fallen asleep. Merlin had to have slept in again, that clotpole, because this wasn't happening. This could not happen.

"Damn it, Merlin, listen to me!" Suddenly over-run by a great wave of anger, my open palm, as if on it's own accord, slapped the comatose boy in the face. "You will look at me right now, Merlin! Stop this at once!" Nothing. Why was he playing this joke on me? Did he not see how cruel it was? My fist landed somehow in his stomach. No reaction occurred. Not even the slightest flinch.

"Arthur...." That voice. That damned voice. The sorcerer must have known what was going to happen all this time! Well he was a sorcerer, deep down they were all the same, weren't they? The pit of pure evil would always reside in their soul. But if a sorcerer could do this, maybe a sorcerer could fix it as well.

Without a second thought as to what I did, I carefully set Merlin's head on the ground and, more aggressively, got to my feet, lunging forward and grabbing the skinny boy by his collar to rise his face up to mine.

"Undo this," I noticed the way John flinched as a couple beads of spit hit his face. Good, I wanted him scared, he may be more prepared to respond. Besides, John hadn't looked at a loss before this point. I had lost something, it only seemed right he should lose something as well. Even if it was only the smug smirk that had left his face.

"S-Sire, I can't! I'm not that strong, I don't even know what spell she used on him!" He was lying. He had to be. If he wasn't lying, I wouldn't have anything left. Of course, he obviously never actually wanted to help me or Merlin. This was his goal all along. All sorcerers are evil. That was what I had been taught since birth, and one look at my friend confirmed that.

"Stop it! You disgusting little liar!" There was no reply from the boy dangling in front of me, his feet barely touching the ground. I hadn't offered anything in return, that was it. I mentally slapped myself for that mistake. Sorcerers wouldn't do something for me if I didn't do something for them, "Look, if you just wake him up, I'll reward you." There was no answer.

"20,000 gold pieces, is that enough? You could go wherever you want, do whatever you want. You'd need not worry about financial problems again," I could afford that, I had an entire vault of gold and silver. I woud easily give it all to him if he only brought Merlin back.

"I can't.... It's impossible for me to do, Sire. I'm sorry,"

"No, that's not it. You just want a bigger reward, right? I can give it to you. You can have a home inside the castle if you like. Uhh... Hell, you can even take my kingdom, just give me back Merlin!" How was I saying this? Did it even really make sense to ask for this type of trade? My father would have been so upset if he heard I offered Camelot for the sake of a servant.

"Arthur.... I think we should Merlin back to Camelot," Rowan. I had almost forgotten about him, but there he sat, watching us from the side of the room. It was true, as well. Gaius was going to be back in Camelot working on a cure by the time we were there. Maybe he could save Merlin. He obviously had a better chance than some weak and snotty magician.

It didn't take long to make it back, definitely much less time than it had taken us to find Merlin. It somehow felt like longer, though, with the surprisingly light body in my arms. The others were already there, waiting.

"Sire, you're back! Where's Merlin? Who is that with you?" By 'that' I supposed they meant John, who I had, somewhere along the way, decided wasn't going to hurt anyone. As for Merlin, I supposed that whoever shouted (I wasn't paying much attention), didn't see him in my arms. I didn't want to see him. Merlin should never look like this. A lump in my throat forbade me to speak when I opened my mouth.

"Sir Elyan, John is a survivor of Morgana's treatment. As for Merlin... Well, you can see." Rowan spoke softly, gesturing to the space in my arms I would never let myself look. It was better to pretend this was all a bad dream, even if i did know that was a lie. Looking down at Merlin's unresponsive face could have woken me up. Just like every other morning of every other day, I did not want to have to wake up yet.

"Merlin, buddy, so glad to see you again! Hope Morgana didn't treat you too badly. You've got Arthur carrying you, eh? Ha, don't worry, a good meal with a nice rest and you'll be back to yourself in no time!" The box wedged in my throat was suddenly larger as Gwaine patted Merlin on the shoulder, and his brow furrowed when he had no response. My mouth suddenly filled with bile when Gwaine next spoke.

"Merlin?" I nearly broke down in the moment of silence that followed. It was one of the Caerleon knights who broke it.

"Let's go back to Camelot"

Author's Note:

Well, you do read the notes! *smiles and happiness and rainbows* Well, the title actually refers to four out of the five stages of grief that Arthur has gone through this chapter. The first being denial, then anger, bargaining, and depression. He hasn't, yet, accepted it, and that's why there's only 4/5. I actually kinda expected this chapter to be longer. Sorry that it's not.... Well, I wanna donate this to somebody, so the third commenter gets this chapter and the first person to vote on this chapter gets a different undonated chapter.

I love you people, now and forever. Hopefully I'll get another chapter to you tomorrow.