Epilepsy// l.h

Chapter 12

           Today was the day. I woke up and I felt instant dread knowing what was coming ahead. I looked down at my feet to where Lucy was sleeping. She was completely peaceful sleeping on the couch. I let out a big sigh and rested my head back on the arm. I grabbed my phone off the table and held it in my hand. It was only 7:40. I had one message from Luke. I opened it and read:

           Hey. I know it's going to be a tough day for you, and if you need me, just call

           I smiled at the text and sent a quick message back.

          Thanks. I'll keep you posted.

         I put the phone down and sighed. I looked up at the ceiling. Sleeping last night was trouble. I couldn't get myself to sleep. Too many thoughts about today were clouding my head. I felt exhausted, but trying to get back to sleep wasn't going to work. I sat myself up and looked at Lucy. Silently sleeping, oblivious to everything going on around her. Maybe she did have an idea of what was going on. I couldn't really imagine.
 
       I pulled myself up off the couch and Lucy opened her eyes. She turned her head and looked over towards me. She tried to sit up, but couldn't keep her balance long enough to try. I shifted closer and started rubbing my hands through her fur. She felt warm, and soft. The familiar feel of her fur against my hand started burning a hole in my chest. After today, this would be no more. No more days sitting with Lucy. No more warnings, no more crazy afternoons. I placed a small kiss on her forehead and headed upstairs.

        I went into my room and pulled out everything I needed for the shower. I wasn't really sure how long I stayed in the actual shower, but I know it was a long time. Especially since my dad banged on the door telling me to hurry up so he can get into the bathroom himself. I got out of the shower and headed straight to my room. In all honesty, I didn't feel like dressing up. I just wanted to lay in my sweat pants all day long. I just wished today was already over. I just wanted it to be tomorrow already. Then I wouldn't have to go through the dread of today. 

        I rummaged through my closet and pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants, and a plain black t-shirt. Were these sweatpants even mine? I looked down at them and realized they were a smaller than mine. They had to be Luke's. I was definitely not the same size as Luke. He had smaller legs than I did, and I had wider hips. I shrugged my shoulders and laughed it off. At least they fit me. I rolled the top of the pants down and then pulled my shirt over my head. I put my sweatshirt back on and put my hood up. I walked down the stairs and headed over to the couch. 

           Lucy laid there sprawled out with her feet stretched all over. Her head was looking back towards where I was standing. Her eyes were open, but not all the way. I could see her panting but slowly trying to wag her tail. I walked over and sat on the edge of the couch. I placed my hand on her stomach and felt around. I moved to where the tumor was and felt it. That big mass that was just sitting there, was slowly destroying my poor Lucy. I moved away from it and towards her head. I rubbed her gently and she made a small whining sound. I hoped that it was  a good whine and not a bad one. 

          I turned the TV on to Good Morning America. Of all the morning news shows, it was definitely my favorite. They just didn't annoy me like the people on The Today Show, especially Kathie Lee and Hoda. Those two make me want to bash my head against the wall. I've never been more annoyed by people in my life. I sat back and watched the small segments they were doing. None of them really mattered, but it was something to take my mind off for a little bit. Lucy was so comfortable on the couch it was almost a shame to move her. I got up and headed into the kitchen. I looked around for something to drink. I just drank water.